Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my neighbours are being completely disrespectful

82 replies

charley39 · 11/07/2020 13:01

Ongoing issues with our neighbours. They just have no respect for other people or other people’s property. We share a driveway and the children feel it is okay to ride their bikes all over our side and in between our cars. The teenager has mates round making noise by the garage till late at night. The children from both houses either side also play out the front unsupervised for what feels like all day every day now they aren’t at school. Start to believe that it’s us that’s the problem and not them?

OP posts:
Original poster
charley39 · 11/07/2020 20:05

Thank you to most of you for your support!

OP posts:
SoloMummy · 11/07/2020 20:08

[quote charley39]@Lightline I’m not being a killjoy at all. The simple fact is that I don’t want people riding bikes around my car. I don’t think it’s being unreasonable to not expect people to be riding a bike on my drive which is my property. We have all established that I can’t do anything about the children playing outside and I am fully aware of this. This was not the point of my post. The point was aibu to think my neighbours have no respect.
Take your kids out for a bike ride or to the local park which is 30 secs away from our house. Not on my driveway[/quote]
Sadly, many children do and can ride their bikes on their drive. Not every bike play has to include a full on bike ride.
I understand you don't want your car damaged, I wouldn't either, but without a separating wall, a line on the drive is not going to mean much to children.

If you have a garage, why aren't you using that to at least mitigate damage or park on the road if this is a daily event?

Seriouslyconfused3 · 11/07/2020 20:16

Could you provide a diagram just to clarify where the children are actually playing?

Original poster
charley39 · 11/07/2020 20:26

@SoloMummy we live in a cul de sac so no road as such to park in. We have a lay by opposite where we used to park a car when we had an additional one but where the kids use the whole of the road we actually had our car damaged by them on bikes this way.

@Seriouslyconfused3 I can’t really draw it but imagine three houses. We are in the middle and us and the left house face forwards whilst the house to the right of us faces onto the road at a right angle as such and this is the house where our drives are together in between the houses

OP posts:
xolotltezcatlopoca · 11/07/2020 20:33

The kids riding bikes in between your cars on your driveway, how's that possible?

Fruitsaladjelly · 11/07/2020 20:47

Kids play out and that is fine but not unsupervised before 9am or after 7pm as they don’t understand volume control

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/07/2020 22:03

Cant beat a good PFB.... give it ten years and "AIBU that my neighbours complained about my child making noise when he is just playing footie with his friends?!"

Coyoacan · 12/07/2020 00:39

I just know the way I have been brought up and how I will be bringing my child up is to not show a lack of respect like these people do

I'm nearly seventy and when I was a child, summer was always the sound of children playing outside until past ten. I don't know what part of the UK you grew up in, but I still enjoy the sound of children playing.

GrumpyHoonMain · 12/07/2020 00:44

You could knock on the door and politely tell your neighbours that you are really worried that you might not see their kids when you’re driving into your side, and could they please stay on their side for their safety. Plenty of accidents on shared drives that you can refer them to.

If they aren’t reasonable then I would be looking to move to a house with a private drive.

Coyoacan · 12/07/2020 00:57

Love the support for rowdy children at all hours yet if anyone makes a noise that disturbs someone's sleeping baby the responses are different, there was a thread about double standards the other day

So why do you bring that poor baby into the world if you hate the sound of children playing?

Teenangels · 12/07/2020 01:21

@charley39

So your neighbours kids are going between their parents car and yours or are they coming onto your side completely and in between your cars? As you have 2?
If the shared drive has garages and garden access and then their house and your house either side?
We need a diagram I think

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/07/2020 01:22

[quote Teenangels]@charley39

So your neighbours kids are going between their parents car and yours or are they coming onto your side completely and in between your cars? As you have 2?
If the shared drive has garages and garden access and then their house and your house either side?
We need a diagram I think[/quote]
Yep. Diagram or it didnt happen

SeasonFinale · 12/07/2020 13:06

But you keep saying it is 24/7 when it isn't. You said until 10pm. So not overnight at all. Normal family life on an estate perhaps highlighted by lockdown.

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 13:20

I grew up in a house with a shared drive, my parents and the same neighbours are still there. We enjoyed living near each other as me and my sister grew up and then the neighbours had their own children. I can’t imagine drawing a line down the drive or claiming sides of it as ours or theirs, that’s just so petty and weird. You’re describing life in a residential neighbourhood. We used to take our bikes past our neighbour’s cars all the time. They are lovely people and would make an effort to leave us with space to get past from the shed in the back. They weren’t obsessive about property like you.

Your post sounds mean spirited and pedantic. I feel so lucky to have grown up next to wonderful people who embraced my childhood, our family and are still good friends to this day.

Verity35 · 12/07/2020 13:56

@elenacampana that all sounds lovely but remember that was a different time! I cannot imagine being in OP’s position and worrying about my car being hit all the time. I would be stressed out! I’ve paid a lot of money for my car. Why should she be the one parking her car away and putting up with this? Why can’t the parents of these kids compromise too?

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 14:06

I left home a couple of years ago, it wasn’t a ‘different time’, it was the recent past.

Your car doesn’t take priority over children being able to be outside - I don’t care how much you paid for it. I say this as a childfree person who doesn’t have any off street parking at all. I wouldn’t buy a fancy car as I don’t have anywhere exclusive to keep it and I’m certainly wouldn’t ask the local kids to stay in to protect it.

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 14:08

That was @Verity35.

Verity35 · 12/07/2020 14:10

@elenacampana wow! I have no words seriously that’s why kids are so entitled these days. I’m glad my kids will be brought up respecting peoples property.

Verity35 · 12/07/2020 14:14

i wouldn’t buy a fancy car as I don’t have anywhere exclusive to keep it and I’m certainly wouldn’t ask the local kids to stay in to protect it

I really struggle with this. So people are not allowed to buy a nice car and park in their OWN DRIVEWAY incase local kids want to ride on your driveway! This is so definitely a windup

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 14:21

I have no words for you either, sitting there worrying about your car all day!

When I have children, they will be brought up to behave themselves, as I was. I’ve already explained I managed to play near other people’s cars without ruining them. But, we had neighbours who were happy for us to be children and have full childhoods. It goes both ways. My main issue with the OP is wanting to draw lines down a shared driveway, I find that weird and petty.

I’m not planning to raise horrendous children, that’s not who I am. I have a young niece and I’m probably too wary of her not bothering other people when she’s with us. My neighbours have just bought a very yappy puppy and it’s annoying, I paid a lot for the house so I could argue it’s spoiling my enjoyment of my experience in my house but I won’t because you have to live and let live in this life. Don’t get hysterical about insignificant things is my motto.

Just because cars aren’t important to me doesn’t mean I’ll allow my children to treat other people’s with disrespect. It does mean my neighbours don’t have to worry about their kids getting within a spitting distance of mine because I don’t worry about such things.

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 14:23

@Verity35 - it’s a shared driveway, not the OP’s. You can’t expect the other house to stay off a shared drive because of your car.

Verity35 · 12/07/2020 14:25

You realise you’ve just contradicted yourself? I’m glad to see you will teach your kids respect and boundaries which is EXACTLY what OP is saying -these kids don’t respect her property. They leave toys lying around and scrape past her cars.

At least we agree that kids should be taught respect that’s what OP’s issue she is writing about on here.

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 14:26

I haven’t contradicted myself @Verity35. You misunderstood me and made assumptions.

Verity35 · 12/07/2020 14:27

@Verity35 - it’s a shared driveway, not the OP’s. You can’t expect the other house to stay off a shared drive because of your car.

Yes but didn’t she say they leave toys lying around and their bikes? So if this is true then we are both agreeing that kids should have been taught manners to not do this? I just said yourself your Future kids will be brought up respecting other people

elenacampana · 12/07/2020 14:39

I really wasn’t commenting on that. I was more talking about drawing a line down the drive and complaining about children playing - that’s what I think is very miserable.

Toys shouldn’t be left strewn about and I’ve not said they should be or that I agree with that kind of behaviour.

No wind up here.