AIBU to think my neighbours are being completely disrespectful

[charley39]

Ongoing issues with our neighbours. They just have no respect for other people or other people’s property. We share a driveway and the children feel it is okay to ride their bikes all over our side and in between our cars. The teenager has mates round making noise by the garage till late at night. The children from both houses either side also play out the front unsupervised for what feels like all day every day now they aren’t at school. Start to believe that it’s us that’s the problem and not them?

I’m glad this thread is supporting the OP. I’m reading another neighbour related thread where it’s getting so vicious! I feel shocked that people think they don’t need to be considerate of neighbours and they’re allowed to do whatever the hell they want.

I can’t understand this mentality. To be honest before I started using mumsnet I thought most people are kind and considerate just some are dysfunctional (mostly in my family!) but I’m shocked so many people on that other thread feel they owe nothing to neighbours and can do what they like. Obviously we should all live our lives without tip toeing around but a little bit of courtesy and thought for people living next to us is not difficult.

Spoke too soon about this being a supportive thread!

@Bluntness100 yes you’re entitled to your opinion about me and I am entitled to what I’m thinking about you and your attitude!

No one is saying lock the kids up! What the hell are u talking about? I let my kids play but the key you’re obviously missing is “consideration”. Maybe not all people have this key skill

@Bluntness100 my kid will be allowed out to play of course but I would not allow him out there at that age without me being present and watching! Gone are the days when you could let children that young go off and play on their own, that’s just my opinion and my parenting.

You know what they say....if you meet one arsehole all day, its probably them. If you keep meeting over and over, its probably you.

I think your expectations are unrealistic. Near the cars, yes I get that but the rest is just part and parcel of living in a community. So unless you can afford a detached place with a significant amount of land, you need to get used to it, and to the fact that in a few short years your own child will be riding their scooter on your neighbours half of the drive.

I live in street of terraces, so I do get it but as this is my house and I cant afford to move I have to accept it. Whats the alternative? Wind myself up over something I cannot change?

@PyongyangKipperbang I like that saying that’s a new one for me but couldn’t be more true!

Other than the car issue, I don’t see an issue, they are playing in there own front year/street, yes noise is wearing at times however it summer and light nights and tbh in the current situation it is what it is.

You may not agree, however between the hours of 7am and 11pm there is not much you can do, as it’s everyday family noise.

If they are having parties or playing loud music until after those times I’d say otherwise.

I don’t think YABU, however nor are they in the eyes of the law.

This is one of the reasons we chose a house with a single driveway . There is an interesting scenario brewing near us with neighbours who share a double - new neighbours just about to move in . God help them ! Existing neighbours use both driveways currently for their 4 cars .

@TheStuffedPenguin yes we’ve only ever had single drives. Tbh it was a concern when we bought the house (new build) but we just assumed people would have a bit more respect but obviously we were unfortunate this time

@Binny36 I think you misunderstood what @Bluntness100 said.
She wasn't saying you're rude and obnoxious at all; it was an example. She was saying your comment of 'If you think they're being disrespectful then they are being disrespectful' is flawed.
Just because you think something, doesn't make it true.

I agree the only thing that would bother me would be the bikes next to your car. Your options are to move house or build a fence. Children playing out (even at that age if a quiet cul de sac or something) and teenagers hanging out in a garage is normal and fine. New builds have notoriously thin walls which might be why it seems so loud

No practical advice OP as people have already said everything I would say/ suggest but just want to echo what other people have said regarding neighbours and how close we all seem to be these days. I don’t know if it’s because we have been home since March but during lockdown we’ve actually decided to relocate to fiancé’s home country. Between the parties and garden parties and bbq’s and renovations and passive aggressive neighbours and parking wars and endless deliveries and music and general noise (music, TV, conversation, arguments, DIY, cleaning) through the walls, I feel like I’m living in my neighbours pockets! I know the routines of everyone around me!

OP you sound bloody miserable tbh. Moaning about kids riding bikes?! What kind of kill joy are you

I understand that neighbours noise is annoying but unfortunately we have to live with it in most cases. I live in a terrace and my neighbours 3 doors down are currently having a child’s birthday party in the back which involves all the adults getting drunk. They are incredibly loud people anyway who only seem to communicate with each other at top volume whether they are fighting or having fun at any time of day.

I actually like that they are having a good time, but I hate them being so inconsiderate

Feeling incredibly conflicted and know that as I live alone it makes it worse, but even when I have visitors, I would never scream and shout for hours in the garden.

OP it’s not you it’s both of you and different standards and as others say, not enough space.

@Lightline I’m not being a killjoy at all. The simple fact is that I don’t want people riding bikes around my car. I don’t think it’s being unreasonable to not expect people to be riding a bike on my drive which is my property. We have all established that I can’t do anything about the children playing outside and I am fully aware of this. This was not the point of my post. The point was aibu to think my neighbours have no respect.
Take your kids out for a bike ride or to the local park which is 30 secs away from our house. Not on my driveway

@Thighdentitycrisis this is my point. I think most people would be decent enough to show a little respect. In cases where it’s a gathering/party I suppose you understand it’s for that night etc and gone by the morning but this is 24/7.

@Lightline

OP you sound bloody miserable tbh. Moaning about kids riding bikes?! What kind of kill joy are you

She isn't. The kids are riding their bikes near the OPs cars and could easily damage them. She also said it's an obstacle course of bikes and scooters when she wants to go out. No doubt the parents would be complaining if they were damaged!

I get it op but in a few years it will be your dc out there. If you want them off the drive then go and tell them to get off every time or put a fence up

Never buy a house with a shared driveway - they lead to so many arguments. I'd rather have no driveway and have to park on the street. YANBU - other peoples' noise is irritating

The people opposite us share a drive, they put a lovely row of planters down their side and planted them up - they look lovely and provide a boundary. The ones who placed them have 4 young children, the other side are single so I expect the ones with children did it to prevent the issue you are describing.

I get it op but in a few years it will be your dc out there

No way would I have allowed my kids to play on someone's else's drive or cycle between their cars and it would definitely annoy me if someone else allowed their kids to disrespect boundaries.

Some parents think their kids can do what they want where they want.

Children playing out the front is normal. This part of your complaint is not reasonable sorry

Love the support for rowdy children at all hours yet if anyone makes a noise that disturbs someone's sleeping baby the responses are different, there was a thread about double standards the other day.

It’s just such a mean thing to do complaining about children playing. And a shared drive is just that -shared

We're about to put a fence around our front garden for the same reason.

Huge sympathy from me. I don't know what has changed in society over the last 40 years. I get emotional when I realise that the last of the WW2 generation has almost left us - they would never (or at least 99% would not) have behaved in this constant selfish manner. All of us who care must do our level best to practice and teach good manners to our families. It counts for a huge amount in life.

It is the selfishness and ignorant behaviour of neighbours like these. Some of us have manners and others are plain entitled. Those with manners can not understand why others do not.