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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Any former gymnasts or parents of gymnasts our there?

216 replies

PurpleRiverIsland · 10/07/2020 22:01

news.sky.com/story/british-gymnastics-claims-athletes-beaten-into-submission-amid-culture-of-fear-12022525

I witnessed and was victim of a lot of physical and emotional abuse when I was an elite gymnast at 3 different clubs and from 4 different coaches. I know some of the clubs these girls (speaking out in the media) went to and I’m not surprised at all about the allegations.

I’m wondering how prolific it was. What were your experiences of the sport?

YABU - I was/am involved in gymnastics and have never seen anything untoward

YANBU - I was/am involved in gymnastics and I witnessed physical or emotional abuse.

Please comment too if you would like to share your experiences.

OP posts:
Iamthewombat · 13/07/2020 19:41

There is no question that Nia Dennis (featured in the clip, above) is a fantastic gymnast. I think, from memory, that she is an ex-US international. However, she’s 5 feet tall with very low body fat. The routines she’s doing are incredible, but the difficulty is not Olympic standard. So I don’t think that we can use her as proof that ordinary women can perform gymnastics at the highest levels expected by audiences.

I’d prefer the sport to be like college gymnastics, though. Grown women with enormous encouragement from their teams, coaches and college supporters. Brilliant.

PurpleRiverIsland · 13/07/2020 22:52

In that case maybe it’s time the audiences make some small shifts in their tastes in order to protect young girls from abuse and support a more ethical version of gymnastics.

OP posts:
user1456324865563 · 13/07/2020 22:59

If Olympic standards require children to be broken and abused, then the standards should be altered. It's not like gravity which we have no control over; humans wrote the standards and humans can change them.

Kokeshi123 · 16/07/2020 02:35

Quite.

Have a minimum height and weight requirement and change the bloody routines. It's notable that men's gymnastics doesn't have as severe issues.

We all know that even if abuse were to stop in countries like the UK, it will never stop in countries like China where the governments care about absolutely nothing except winning. The requirements need a complete overhaul. Either that or junk gymnastics as an Olympic sport altogether. Let kids do it for fitness and fun instead.

PurpleRiverIsland · 16/07/2020 21:24

@Kokeshi123 I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. If the setup of the sport encourages child abuse you need preventative measures in place as you’ve suggested. Or just ban it. Who wants to watch gymnastics at the Olympics now we know it’s full of abused children?!!

OP posts:
edpen · 21/07/2020 22:26

The British Athletes Commission has set up a confidential helpline with the NSPCC for anyone who has witnessed or experienced abuse in gymnastics: Tel 0800 056 0566
"If you have any concerns about bullying or abuse within gymnastics, you can talk to one our professional counsellors by calling us on 0800 056 0566 or by emailing [email protected]. The helpline is open 8am-10pm Monday to Friday and 10am-6pm on weekends - or you can email anytime."

FeeeelixTheChat · 21/07/2020 22:27

This, alongside ballet, is a sport I would never in a million years encourage my child to be involved with.

Papergirl1968 · 22/07/2020 11:05

Feeelix, my dds did gymnastics for an hour a week at the local leisure centre. It was fun and the coaches were lovely. They didn’t make a huge amount of progress in the few years they were there but they enjoyed it and were perfectly safe, with parents watching from chairs along the side of the sports hall.

Athrawes · 22/07/2020 11:18

Does anyone have any experience of boys gymnastics? My son has been doing men's competitive gym for two years. He's 10. We are allowed in the gym, I feel we have a good relationship with his coaches. We watch then training the older boys and it all looks great. Not too much pressure, fun times.
Is men's gym less likely to lead to abuse?

Watermama · 22/07/2020 11:26

Wow this thread is an eye opener! My young DD started gymnastics last year I've been told she's good, very good I thought the only thing I had to worry about was Coaches being inappropriate. Now I'm worried about the whole break them and make them anew attitude!
I'm just in the process of working with her club to find suitable training times for the new term. Now I'm unsure about encouraging her in a sport that might do long term damage.

Thisisnotataste · 22/07/2020 11:34

This is why I took my DD out of gymnastics. They wouldn't let us watch- not even for a short while. I just found it made me uneasy. But I was shot down by other parents as being over protective.

Sarahbeans · 22/07/2020 12:58

@Watermama

This type of thread always brings out the worst experiences and I wouldn't necessarily worry, not if you're happy with the club.

My daughters both did and do gymnastics. The oldest stopped competing many years ago, now works as a coach and is still involved in a non-competitive form. She trains with many older teens and travels all over the place (including abroad) doing her gymnastics. When she was little she competed at a reasonable level (but was never an elite) and trained for 20 hours a week in artistic. My youngest still competes. She doesn't do artistic, but she hopes to make it to British Championships one day in her field. If she sticks at it and works hard, she might just make it. But because it is a much smaller discipline, it's not quite as competitive iyswim.

Over the past few weeks, we've been talking lots about the abuse and my daughters have both been forthcoming about their experiences. I can honestly say, I have always been able to stay and watch my daughters do gym. There are viewing windows, and there have been sessions when I have stayed and worked and watched the whole session (gym is a fair distance from my house, so haven't always bothered to go home). My girls have never been weighed, their weight has never been mentioned. I remember when my daughter was competing, over 6 years ago now, a child came from another gym and she was used to being weighed weekly and my daughter's coach said then it was an outdated idea that was no longer encouraged.

Both daughters have got so much from gym, and both say that they would sign their children up.

Obviously, I can't speak for the elite artistic route, but so few children make that level, I'm not so sure it would put me off doing gym per se, but I wouldn't necessarily seek out the top flight, iyswim. We had the option years ago if changing club and one of the clubs we looked at was a compulsory level (top flight) club for her to join. We decided not to go there. I was happy with my daughter doing exceptionally well at her level, and getting lots of medals rather than pushing for top flight gymnastics. In truth, she would never have made it as an elite, but she might have done her compulsories. For us, it just wasn't worth the sacrifice. Instead, my daughters have had years of fun in the sport and both have gained so much from it.

The abuse is there, I'm not denying that, but at the same time I don't think we can dismiss all gymnastics clubs as abusive and bad. A bit like many years ago, when several scout leaders turned out to be paedophiles, yes they existed and yes it was a problem, but it didn't make every scout leader a paedophile.

My daughters have been involved with 5 clubs, over 4 disciplines over 14 years. They vary massively in their approach (to squads, competitions, commitment, training etc etc). I think even the region you're in affects it (at regionals) just find the club that's right for you.

Hester76 · 22/07/2020 18:14

Concerned about gymnastics?

In response to recent concerns raised by gymnasts the NSPCC has set up a dedicated helpline in association with the British Athletes Commission (BAC).

If you have any concerns about bullying or abuse within gymnastics, you can talk to one of their professional counsellors by calling on 0800 056 0566 or by emailing [email protected].

The helpline is open 8am-10pm Monday to Friday and 10am-6pm on weekends - or you can email anytime.

Any former gymnasts or parents of gymnasts our there?
Any former gymnasts or parents of gymnasts our there?
Rainbow12e · 22/07/2020 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MitziK · 22/07/2020 20:42

Cheer isn't all sweetness and light.

I worked at one place where there were a number of girls into it, one, who was the 'typical poor kid' - Mum a dinnerlady and care worker to scrape the bills and the costs, etc - was selected to be in the squad that got to compete in the US.

All the girls were terrified of the person that ran it - I overheard (and reported) some of the conversations, including one it appeared that if they were ill, the leader would contact them directly to bawl them out and threaten their places if they didn't get there in the next ten minutes. The threats were bad enough, but I thought an adult contacting children directly, rather than through parents, was a safeguarding issue, as they had all the girls' emails, Snapchats and mobile numbers. A LOT of communication was over snapchat, which, as we know, deletes things.

I also overheard how the girls were told in front of everybody they needed to lose weight if they were a flyer, remove all their body hair and get fake tans in different shades on the sides, etc, to make them look slimmer. Apart from my initial horror at hearing a 14 year old explain to a 12 year old how to do a full Hollywood, there is also the 'what the fuck is this person doing policing children's pubic regions?'.

The general opinion seemed to be it was horrible to be in trouble, but better than what happened to girls who stayed at gymnastics or swimming.

No idea if anything came of my reports. I fucking hope something did, but I left that job and I don't know anymore, as you never get feedback on SG reports.

RandomMess · 22/07/2020 23:55

@MitziK AngrySad that's awful, DDs club isn't like that but I well believe some coaches/club owners are success crazy.

There are/were some very "solid" bases in their Worlds team!

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