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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you like your siblings

253 replies

Theeyeof · 10/07/2020 17:17

Just that really

OP posts:
TheMurk · 10/07/2020 23:55

Well I often wish I’d had a sister instead of a brother so make of that what you will!

Armi · 10/07/2020 23:58

Love my sisters. One is a hypocritical twat and the other is an obstinate beast, but I love them to bits.

JammyHands · 10/07/2020 23:58

One brother, and no I don't like him. He became very arrogant in his 20s. He was always competitive as a child (and spoilt) and grew into this rather than out of it. A pity.

Serin · 11/07/2020 00:02

Adore her.

TheMurk · 11/07/2020 00:03

@JammyHands mine exactly the same

JammyHands · 11/07/2020 00:11

@TheMurk, yeah, one of my friends who knew him slightly in our teens said 'Aren't you sad about that?' I said 'It's more that I'm sad that he's become the person he is.'

PermanentTemporary · 11/07/2020 00:22

Yes, though we are phenomenally different. Over such a long relationship things have been very up and down. My brother is 8 years older than me and I don't really feel I knew him at all until I was well into my 30s. I really respect his intelligence and sense of right and wrong and we talk every week now, which we didn't before. We don't see each other often as he's in another country and we have completely different interests. He is very accepting despite (because of?) being devoutly religious, though I suppose I don't tell him everything I get up to.

My sister is just wonderful, I love her dearly though we both have huge flaws which clash regularly. We are learning to disagree and still be friends. But she is the most giving person, the only trouble is that she finds it almost impossible NOT to give, she suffers more from thinking of the other person not doing the best thing for them than she does from giving help/advice/energy.

Justkeeepsmiling · 11/07/2020 00:24

Me and my DS havnt spoken for 18 months. I always longed for a sister who I could confide in, laugh with, go shopping with, have as a best friend, but it just never was the case. If I told her anything in secret she would always tell someone, she gets jealous very easy so if we were to go shopping for example and I bought something she either couldn't afford or didn't have in her size she would strop for the rest of the day. Everything is/was a compition with her. I decided I didn't want her in my life after she took her 7th overdose 3 days after her grandson was born.

SeaShells31 · 11/07/2020 00:25

Yes! I have 4 siblings. 2 brothers, 2 sisters. Very close to them all.

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 11/07/2020 00:30

I love mine. He’s the reason I wanted to have more than one child as we always have been friends.

augustusglupe · 11/07/2020 00:39

I adored my brother who died in 2012. He was the eldest and I the youngest and we just kind of got each other. And yes, I liked him too, everyone seemed to.
Now it’s me and my 2 elder sisters left. They’re ok, I get on better with one than the other. Not sure I’d like them as friends if we weren’t related though.

Zeusthemoose · 11/07/2020 00:42

My older brother and sister have been very nasty over the years since childhood so I'm not particularly. We've all had children so stuck some plasters over the cracks but honestly I wouldn't go to either of them if I needed help. I'm the one left to care for my parents aswell. Neither bother helping out much and are quite happy to leave me with the responsibility. It was obvious that was how it was always going to be.

Juneboon · 11/07/2020 00:42

Yes.
Second eldest of 4 and I have a different, but friendly, relationship with each of them. My elder sister is my best friend.

yelyah22 · 11/07/2020 00:44

Yeah, my younger sister is 18 months apart in age and we are close. We're in touch every other day or so, even if it's just a stupid Instagram tag or something. We're very very different and we'd never be friends if we weren't sisters - not because she's not brilliant, but because we have such different interests and lifestyles - but we adore each other.

Interestingly, every man I have ever been in a relationship with (before my now OH) had a younger sister who he really didn't get on with. Not sure what that says about my choice in men!

DeeTractor · 11/07/2020 00:46

Nope.

Lizadork · 11/07/2020 00:46

I love them but no, we have zero relationship and zero in common.

BarbedBloom · 11/07/2020 01:04

I do like him of course, but we have very little in common. We don't have any shared interests and maybe see each other once every six months when he pops in with the kids.

TulipsandDa1s1es · 11/07/2020 01:23

We are very different. I am very organised and structured. All family jobs fall to me. I nursed our grandparents through sickness and also planned and carried through both of their funerals, despite my brother telling anyone who will listen that grandpa was his best friend and they were like father and son. He did not once help me with hospital appointments or care. My DB is extremely lucky and gets everything handed to him. He is also very unreliable. Constantly late and very arrogant. Thinks the world revolves around him. Will continuously be weeks late giving my DC (his only DNs) their birthday and christmas gifts. People laugh his behaviour off but these qualities irriate me. Also every now and then he will upset someone (like forgetting fathers day) but then nobody says anything to him and all is forgotten. We have nothing in common. He notoriously leave me out of family plans but then if I planned a day out with the DC and our parents I would get asked if I invited him and made to feel I should. He likes to play the good guy and has recently taken to asking me out for lunch once a month. I have been declining as I feel I dont want to get involved as the situation always ends in me being taken advantage of (him piling family jobs on me or asking me to ebay things for him or mind his children for the week while he goes away with his wife).

I dont think hes a bad person, we are just very different and he is not someone I would ever choose to be around. I feel people have created this monster by constantly making allowances for him

Lovely1a2b3c · 11/07/2020 01:36

Yes, I've always been close to both of mine.

The one who has a partner now though, seems to like me less because of said person. I'm scared that eventually their DP will cause us to lose contact.

BuffaloMozzerella · 11/07/2020 01:53

Not really. We do try but it often falls apart. One is very self-centred and the other lives a long way away so contact is limited. My parents like to comment what a close family we are...they are deluded.

Moonshinemisses · 11/07/2020 01:59

Two of mine are wonderful people and I'm very close to them & their kids. The 3rd one I could take or leave. He's a bit of a wanker, his wife is ok.

ChangeOfNameNeeded07 · 11/07/2020 02:02

Best friends. We were never fighting growing up, so it feels strange when I see my own DCs arguing now.

notangelinajolie · 11/07/2020 02:15

I only know my brother because we are related. We live just a mile apart yet we rarely speak and have nothing in common apart from our parents. We get on and have never fallen out or had an argument or anything - we just live different lives.

My 3 DD's have no time for each other and I find it difficult to understand how any of them are from the same gene pool. Yet they are. I think they are closer than they would have anyone believe and I suspect I they will find each other when me or DH gets ill or dies. Sad but true.

Linning · 11/07/2020 05:58

I have 4 Siblings (1 brother, 2 step-brothers 1-step sister) and have a very distinct relationship with each.

I absolutely despise my brother, he is one of the most vile men I have ever met and as awful as it sounds, if I could travel back to 1996 and cancel out his creation and following birth, I would. Everyone in the family (from siblings to grandparents and aunts and uncles) are no contact with him, so that tells you what type of human being he is. The only one who tolerates him (much to everyone bafflement) is my mother and it's probably due to the fact that he is an agressive and abusive prick who refuses to move out and can be quite scary when mad.

He has no notion of money or responsibilities and if my mom dropped dead tomorrow, the reality is that he would be both homeless and in debt, the only relief I have is that I live far far away from him and as a result he will absolutely never be my problem.

DSB1 on the other hand I adore, he is the sibling that is the most like me (despite only sharing half of my genetics) and he was always the calming force, we only had 1 fight in the entire history of our childhood and I cried, because it was unexpected. I live abroad so don't see as much of him as I would, but we are in touch and I really enjoy the young man he has become and we are considering doing some business venture together in coming months/years. He is the first sibling I would call for help if need be and the only one I truly trust.

DSB2 is a young teenager still, so it's hard to gauge how close we are but he was the youngest until a couple of month ago so I will say I do love him as such and try to have a great bond with him, due to having lived abroad most of his life, I do spoil him a bit when I see him which I think he appreciates and I always make sure to spare time for him whenever I can and when I am there, we are quite bonded despite the distance as I am the first one he called to talk to me about his first girlfriend and other delicate topics, which surprised me but also made me very happy. I am intending to take him on a trip of a lifetime once Covid is over (like I did with DSB1 last year).

DSS- She is a baby and I haven't met her yet. Due to Covid I will probably only meet her when she is 2 and between me living abroad, the age gap (more than 20 years) and the fact that I don't get along with my mother and know very little about her dad (despite him being married to my mother), the chances that we'll develop any kind of meaningful relationship is very slim. I assume she will grow up to be this young woman I know is kind of related to me but might only see at funerals and important family events I'll attend. The idea that she will be half my age when I am 50 horrify me for some reason (can't imagine I'll be the type she'll want to hang out with then and pretty sure I won't want to be reminded of my long-gone youth, any more than necessary.) I had always wanted a sister so it's a shame, but we'll see. Life might turn out differently than I expect after all.

Having siblings has confirmed for me that wanting another child just so your first one isn't lonely is bullshit, I am the oldest one, only have a year difference with my brother and I still resent them from bringing him about. He didn't add much to my life and actually would have been quite happier without him making my life hell. And I love the rest of my siblings and wouldn't swap them if I could but I also know I would have been totally happy without siblings and actually probably would have had a much better relationship with my mother as a result.

nitsandwormsdodger · 11/07/2020 06:48

I love my brother and would give him my last kidney
But
Our relationship has been v toxic and abusive, I've allowed him to physically beat me up on two occasions in our 20's when we lived together he told me everyday that I was useless fat ugly and mental to the point where I was hospitalised
20 years later our relationship is nearly at a place where I could call it nice or good even, but it's taken it's toll a bit

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