How can I forgive MIL

[Hocuspocusandfairies]

A few years ago I had a miscarriage. MIL said she'd come down and sit with my children whilst I went into hospital only she changed her mind at the last minute when my husband went to pick her up.

This resulted in me going into hospital on my own as my husband stayed with our children and things got pretty serious as I had a haemorrhage. Once in A&E the crash team were around me as a doctor manually removed one sac and when was more stable I was taken to theatre to have a D&C to remove the other sac.

After this MIL didn't get in touch for 5 months.

The issue I have now is my husband says he can't stay angry forever with his mom as she's his mom. This causes conflict with us as I feel so very hurt and alone by it all.

How do I stop this coming between my husband an I as I can't seem to let go of the anger and blame towards her

[wizzbangfizz]

I wouldn't forgive her and if she is expecting any kind of care as she gets older from you I hope she realises she won't get it from you.

[BraveGoldie]

Good for you OP. Wishing you all the best for your counseling..... you deserve that space to breathe and grieve......

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I think that would be a very good idea HocusPocus - good luck with it all.
And, if you don't like or gel with your first counsellor, don't be disheartened - find another one.

[crosseyedMary]

Thoughtsasmuch, are you quite old and unable to understand the nuances of modern life?

[PixieLee123]

@Thoughtsasmuch I am wondering if you ARE in fact the MIL

[msflibble]

OP, I'm so glad this thread has helped give you some clarity. Counselling will give you a place to process your grief and trauma properly. Your mother loved you and her love will always be with you, nothing can change that. It has helped me to remember this.
Wishing you all the best on your journey to healing xxx

[Happydinosaur53]

@Thoughtsasmuch her son and grandchildren are the OP's husband and children. So, she wins.

[CiCiFreakingBabcock]

@ArnoJambonsBike

You need to take a sanity check. You've said you are being 100% unresaonable.

Get that thought out of your head. You are jot being unreasonable at all.

Yup, OP, this.

If your DH wants to have a relationship with his mother he can but you 100% get to choose for you. SMFH