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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The virus is no longer a threat and we should all just get on with our lives.

158 replies

RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 10:32

That is exactly what my boss said to me yesterday when she asked me if I was still concerned about the virus and I had said yes, I was. She asked me this because I was putting on a mask to drive as I have to share a car with someone else (I wear the mask in line with government recommendations. The other passenger chooses not wear a mask, just me).
I told her that I was concerned that there will be a second wave in the autumn/winter and she replied with a ‘pfff! They are just saying that to scare us, I’m just getting on like normal. Anyhow, it is only a threat to the old and obese’.
Now, I admit that I am a worrier and this virus has freaked me out but surely she is being naive/blinkered to what is going on in the world? I believe that she thinks that as the government have lifted most restrictions that equates to the virus no longer being around! How can it no longer be a threat? It hasn’t gone anywhere, there isn’t any heard immunity yet and no extremely affective medication.
Just wondered if you were with me or my boss?
YES - YABU it’s on it’s way out
NO - It’s still a major threat to our health.

OP posts:
redbigbananafeet · 10/07/2020 11:32

@AlternativePerspective

Two 3rds of people who have died have been disabled. While disability in itself doesn’t make someone vulnerable, many disabilities do, even if people with those disabilities don’t have to shield.

To an extent she is right in that we do need to start getting on with our lives, but we also still need to have awareness of the virus and take precautions.

A friend just pointed out to me that wearing a face covering in public now will hopefully stop people criticising women for wearing the hijab.

We need to be like Japan where people wear face coverings as a matter of course....

Wearing a face mask to control the spread of a fatal virus has nothing to do with forcing women to wear face covering to control women
PrayingandHoping · 10/07/2020 11:34

Well possibly if u think she'd go that far. Only u know how far u can push it. I would point out the guidelines, and that it's not obese and old it's v much the disabled too!

As your employer though she had duty of care over you.

okiedokieme · 10/07/2020 11:35

I'm in the middle. I'm not doubting it is a threat to some people but if you are under 60 with no comorbidities then getting on with your life is a perfectly reasonable stance to take. None of us know what's around the corner, people slip on their stairs and break their spine, get run over by a truck who's driver has passed out, sepsis can kill from cutting your toe walking barefoot ... all really unlikely but similar odds to covid killing a healthy younger person according to a dr friend the other day.

So what I'm saying is you can spend the next year worrying, hiding etc or take reasonable precautions (hand washing and yes masks in certain circumstances) and get on with living.
I've just booked a restaurant for tomorrow night, really looking forward to normal (even if the server is in ppe!)

SoulofanAggron · 10/07/2020 11:36

YANBU, what bollox they're saying. Of course it's still a threat, and unless people do their bit it will become even more of a threat again.

okiedokieme · 10/07/2020 11:38

Ps we are not distancing at work, only 5 of us and we trust each other not to be stupid, helps I'm the youngest and I'm middle aged!

Rhine · 10/07/2020 11:39

Im sick of people like this OP, the virus hasn’t gone away we‘ve got it under control due to social distancing and lockdown.

merrymouse · 10/07/2020 11:39

They are just saying that to scare us

Why? Who are 'they'?

hoochymamgu · 10/07/2020 11:40

Rhoda, the kind of skilled, amazing job you do as a PA is much in demand (at least in my area) they sound like poor employers who are in denial and not caring for you. Look around for another similar post then resign. You are not going to change them Thanks

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 11:42

What I don’t fully understand from her thinking is that, at nearly 70 both herself and her dh are at higher risk and so too is her ds. She also has an elderly mother who is nearly 90, she visits her several times a week. I personally think she is just burying her head in the sand. But that’s up to her, I’m still going to protect myself as much as I can not only for myself but for my elderly parents (one who is shielding), my family and the 95 year old I look after too. It’s not just about her and her beliefs, ther is a whole community of vulnerable people amongst us.

OP posts:
IndiaMay · 10/07/2020 11:42

I'm in the middle. People flapping about you walking the wrong way down an empty supermarket aisle or disinfecting everything in sight (just stay home if you're that scared!) Irks me no end.

We do need to get back to normal, it has little effect on the majority of people. However I wont be hugging my nan/sharing cutlery with my pregnant cousin etc any time soon. Some distance with some people is required

Lightyearspast · 10/07/2020 11:44

There are so many things we just don't know yet about the virus, like whether there are any long term health implications for those who've only had mild symptoms. There was a study recently showing lung damage even in asymptomatic cases, and this article about risk of brain disorders from mild cases.

If your boss really doesn't care about protecting elderly and obese people, then maybe she needs to know that she and her (presumably young and slim Hmm)friends and family could be at risk too, even if they catch the virus and show mild or no symptoms.

Legoandloldolls · 10/07/2020 11:44

I think your boss is either shockingly naive or a bit thick, or both. That's coming from someone who has been to non essential shops since the rules changed. I'm in no way scared to leave my house.

I do roll my eyes at peoples mind boggling lack of scientific knowledge. But I am a biology grad.... so maybe that's my issue. However how can anyone, especially in a pandemic, think a world spread virus will just end, like a series of sex in the city?

My mind boggles. If she had said it's a low risk right now, then fair enough, that a opinion, but the declare it over / no risk / finished etc is weird.

Legoandloldolls · 10/07/2020 11:45

... she needs to enlighten Chris Witty 😂

safariboot · 10/07/2020 11:46

YANBU. Coronavirus has not gone away. It's still around, still worse than seasonal flu, still potentially lethal or crippling however healthy you think you are. There have been some improvements to treatment but it's too early to say how much good they do, and one of the candidate drugs will not be available outside the USA until October. (Because the USA has bought the entire supply from the sole manufacturer).

Alsohuman · 10/07/2020 11:46

There are exemptions from mask wearing on medical grounds. You can’t make someone else wear one.

ravenmum · 10/07/2020 11:48

In the German city where I live there has been 1 new case of Corona over the last 7 days - i.e. it's almost gone entirely. There have been just 10 deaths here in all, so far. People are still wearing masks on public transport and in shops. Some wear them just when walking about in the street. Politicians have discussed whether they should still be mandatory, but came to the conclusion that it would be better to make people wear masks for a few more weeks, just to be on the safe side. This isn't panic, or scaremongering, just people being careful, for others' sakes.

How many new cases where you live?

jessstan2 · 10/07/2020 11:48

You are right! Your boss needs to look at how things are going in America because of easing too many restrictions too quickly.

frustrationcentral · 10/07/2020 11:48

@Waxonwaxoff0

Well, I'm in the middle. I'm not scared of coronavirus myself as I believe my personal risk is minimal. And that's not because I don't know anyone who has had it - my mum has had it.

I respect the feelings of others though and she should do the same to you and not dismiss your concerns.

Totally agree

I sit very in the middle, I'm not terrified but cautious. I do things that we need to do - but not things that can wait for now. My Mental health status means I'm prone to escalating situations so I've had to be very aware of that all the way through otherwise I would have hit rock bottom. I have a couple of friends who are absolutely petrified, of the opinion the virus is going to jump them as soon as they step foot out of the house, would rather go hungry than have to nip into a shop. Both are convinced that the life we have now is going to continue forever unless we get a vaccine - and if we don't they won't be happy to move on regardless. Both young healthy people

Moondust001 · 10/07/2020 11:55

I don't agree with either of you. It's a threat, particularly to some people. But it's as much of a threat as a dozen other things that I could name. I've had it. It's nasty. Without doubt the worst virus over ever had. But I'm not going to let it dictate my life either, and no more scared of it than those other things that have an equally good chance of killing me (which means, not a lot bothered about it). There's always been a community of vulnerable people around us - we just didn't pay any attention to it before, and there were equally serious threats to them before this.

If you feel that wearing a mask is of use, then you must do what you think best. But he doesn't need to, even if this were public transport, as the disabled are exempt. Whether or not any of us think that's sensible, given the fact that many people with disabilities may be at higher risk, is irrelevant; but equally, some types of disabilities may really struggle with a mask, so it's hard to enforce if it causes more problems than it solves.

Oxyiz · 10/07/2020 11:55

Could you install a perspex screen maybe?

Oxyiz · 10/07/2020 11:56

Like this one

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B087WY1L3N/

PerditaProvokesEnmity · 10/07/2020 12:01

The pity of it is OP that your mask wearing is virtually useless if you're stuck in a car with a non-mask wearer who could pick up the virus on any day from a staff member or service user at the day care centre. Or from his careless, unthinking mother.

redbigbananafeet · 10/07/2020 12:08

@okiedokieme

Ps we are not distancing at work, only 5 of us and we trust each other not to be stupid, helps I'm the youngest and I'm middle aged!
You all trust each other to what?
SockYarn · 10/07/2020 12:13

Obviously a balance.

It's not gone away, but there's no need to treat everyone as if they have the plague. Or do things like quarantining your post and bleaching your shopping.

Emeraldshamrock · 10/07/2020 12:13

It is crazy talk though judging by the amount of people going about she is not alone in her thinking.
Interestingly in Ireland 77% of new cases are under 25's I just hope their confidence helps them recover without longterm damage.