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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The virus is no longer a threat and we should all just get on with our lives.

158 replies

RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 10:32

That is exactly what my boss said to me yesterday when she asked me if I was still concerned about the virus and I had said yes, I was. She asked me this because I was putting on a mask to drive as I have to share a car with someone else (I wear the mask in line with government recommendations. The other passenger chooses not wear a mask, just me).
I told her that I was concerned that there will be a second wave in the autumn/winter and she replied with a ‘pfff! They are just saying that to scare us, I’m just getting on like normal. Anyhow, it is only a threat to the old and obese’.
Now, I admit that I am a worrier and this virus has freaked me out but surely she is being naive/blinkered to what is going on in the world? I believe that she thinks that as the government have lifted most restrictions that equates to the virus no longer being around! How can it no longer be a threat? It hasn’t gone anywhere, there isn’t any heard immunity yet and no extremely affective medication.
Just wondered if you were with me or my boss?
YES - YABU it’s on it’s way out
NO - It’s still a major threat to our health.

OP posts:
PrayingandHoping · 10/07/2020 10:33

YANBU

And I wouldn't share that car if they won't wear a mask. You wearing a mask only protects them and by them not it means u have no protection.

iffymiffy · 10/07/2020 10:34

Gosh that’s not a good thing to say to you. They need to be following the guidelines whether they want to or not. Maybe have a chat to the HSE?

TeenPlusTwenties · 10/07/2020 10:36

Well, I'm in the middle.

It is clearly far less around in the general population than before.
However that is primarily because we are all social distancing and being careful about hygiene.
If we carry on being careful we can keep it under control until there is a vaccine.
If we throw caution to the wind it will likely spark up again.
But we can't stay in lockdown forever, life needs to get more normal for the sake of the economy and mental health.

i.e. It's a balance.

VeryQuaintIrene · 10/07/2020 10:45

Just look at the US and all the people who didn't wear masks once things started to open up and where their rates are going. While I do think we need to get on with our lives now , try for some normality and get beyond lockdown, we also need to have a bit of common sense and keep on with masks and caution.

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 10/07/2020 10:50

Of course it hasn't gone away. Your boss is wrong. She may be happy to take risks but you don't have to.

I wouldn't take anyone in my car if they weren't prepared to wear a mask. I would also have the windows open, assuming you are wearing 'bog-standard' masks and not FFP3 level masks (which filter out 99% particles).

You don't need to justify how you feel to your boss. Just ensure your employer takes recommended precautions to protect employees (and report them if they don't) and do whatever you feel is necessary and complies with guidelines in your car.

Iverunoutofnames · 10/07/2020 10:52

People who say this don’t know people who’ve had it and don’t know people who’ve died. They would have a different opinion if they did

DaveMinion · 10/07/2020 10:59

I’m completely with you. I wouldn’t have anyone in my car mask or no mask. I have my mum but she’s in my bubble (I’m still acting as though we are in lockdown).

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 10:59

She did make me feel neurotic tbh and I did doubt myself for a split second but I know from my family and friends that they are all still being fairly cautious. I appreciate that we must still carry on and can’t be in lock down for a lengthy period of time but we surely must do what we can to protect ourselves, live isn’t ‘back to normal’ regardless of what she may believe.
Sorry, for clarity, I have to share the car as the job I do is as a driver for her wheelchair using son. He’s in his 30’s and although he isn’t very disabled and has no learning disabilities, he can not walk far and can not drive himself to his day centre. I drive him to his day club, drop him there and pick him up at the end of the day, we are in the car together for around 3-4 hours per day. He doesn’t want to wear a mask so I can’t make him.

OP posts:
ifonly4 · 10/07/2020 11:01

It hasn't gone away, we just managed to find a way of keeping it under control. We need to carry on otherwise it'll spiral out of control again. I live in a county that been Covid free for a month, but the last couple of weeks we've had cases again. It just goes to show, yes we need to live our lives the best we can, but we need to be vigilent and do what we can to protect ourselves and others.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 10/07/2020 11:04

That’s not true at all. Your employer has a duty of care to you and breaking government rules absolutely breaks it. Employers are not allowed to insist you do something dangerous. So she is not allowed to insist her son doesn’t wear a mask.

81Byerley · 10/07/2020 11:05

It's only people without any sense that would think the virus has gone away. I'm with you, definitely. And there are a lot of families mourning family members that were not elderly or obese.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 10/07/2020 11:08

I know you don’t want to lose your job but she is acting illegally.

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 11:11

I will ask her son to wear a mask next week, it’s been irking me since I returned from furlough. I’ll print off the government guidelines and show them.

OP posts:
Oxyiz · 10/07/2020 11:14

She's ridiculous to put her son at risk like that TBH.

PrayingandHoping · 10/07/2020 11:19

You personally can't make him but you can say to his Mum you aren't willing to drive him unless he does

It sounds as thought they have a surprisingly blaze attitude considering her son must be vulnerable if he's disabled. Maybe they should look at the statistics for disabled people who have badly been effected by covid....

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 11:21

Oxyiz I think the same, at the end of the day she has no idea who I mix with! And although her ds isn’t under the shielding category he does have a disability and from what I’ve read online about his disorder that does make him vulnerable to some degree.

OP posts:
Original poster
RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 11:23

PrayingandHoping but wouldn’t that put me at risk of losing my job? I can’t afford to do that.
Her son most definitely is at risk from what I have read about his condition but hey! the virus only affects the obese and elderly 🙄

OP posts:
thepeopleversuswork · 10/07/2020 11:23

One thing to feel like that privately. Quite another to impose this on other people, particularly when they report in to you. Highly irresponsible.

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 10/07/2020 11:26

I will continue to wear my mask and keep myself as safe as I possibly can regardless of her opinion, it’s all I can do atm.

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 10/07/2020 11:26

Two 3rds of people who have died have been disabled. While disability in itself doesn’t make someone vulnerable, many disabilities do, even if people with those disabilities don’t have to shield.

To an extent she is right in that we do need to start getting on with our lives, but we also still need to have awareness of the virus and take precautions.

A friend just pointed out to me that wearing a face covering in public now will hopefully stop people criticising women for wearing the hijab.

We need to be like Japan where people wear face coverings as a matter of course....

Wheresthebiffer2 · 10/07/2020 11:29

Depends how you interpret "threat". It's become apparent that some people are more at risk of dying than others - obese, elderly, south-asian origin, underlying health conditions (diabetes, copd) etc. But healthy people can catch it too, and although they are less likely to end up on a ventilator, there is increasing evidence that a lot of people are experiencing post-viral fatigue - like ME symptoms, that are largely unexplained, and not understood, and with no known cure.

I consider the "threat" of my life being affected by ME is definitely a serious thing, and I will continue to take all reasonable precautions.

PerditaProvokesEnmity · 10/07/2020 11:29

Anyhow, it is only a threat to the old and obese’.

Well, fuck her!

How fortunate she is to have no elderly or overweight relatives. Nor to care about anyone who is. And she clearly doesn't give a damn about the thousands of ethnic minority people of all ages who have died. Or all the people left with life changing health issues.

I'm under 60, not obese, but with increased vulnerability, Even if I survived the initial virus it might cause me a heart attack, or a stroke, deafness, blindness, kidney failure ...

Bloody stupid woman.

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/07/2020 11:29

I broadly agree with your boss in terms of the sentiment that terrifying perfectly healthy, young people into believing that the virus was on every corner and they would almost certainly die if they caught it was the only way the government could ensure wider public buy-in with lockdown; and the reality is that it isn’t dangerous for most of us and we should be getting on with our lives. I have no time for people who want us all to remain in lockdown until the virus is eradicated from the earth.

But I don’t think any of us should be critical of others who want to manage the risks in their own ways which have little to no impact on those around them - such as wearing masks and gloves, avoiding public transport and crowded indoor places and so on. That’s understandable.

annabel85 · 10/07/2020 11:31

It is because of people like this that the virus is still a big threat.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/07/2020 11:31

Well, I'm in the middle. I'm not scared of coronavirus myself as I believe my personal risk is minimal. And that's not because I don't know anyone who has had it - my mum has had it.

I respect the feelings of others though and she should do the same to you and not dismiss your concerns.