To dislike people on fb

[ames7654]

Why do some people on Facebook post bday messages etc to their children who are to young to be on fb or even see the post! Just this morning I saw people saying "happy birthday (child) lots of love mummy and daddy". I don't get it!!! I'd get it a little bit more if it was a mum saying "wow it's been 2 years since (child) was born can't believe it blah blah blah .,,"

Also don't get me started on partners wishing their partners happy bday/anniversary etc don't you don't you do it in person ??

I don't think I am bu? Am I ? I know I should just leave fb. But it's weirdly satisfying to get angry over this stuff.

@Mistlewoeandwhine

The ‘Happy birthday to my granny in heaven’ ones make me laugh. Umm, she’s dead. I don’t think she’s on Facebook kiddo.

A bit insensitive of you to laugh at them. If they make the person posting it feel good during what is likly to be a difficult day for them than why would you judge that? I've always seen them posted more in a "in memory of" kind of way.

I can’t understand why people get so exercised about other people’s social media. Unless it affects you personally just let it go.

I mean the answer to your question is obvious if you think about it. People want to share their emotions on social media. Which is sort of the point of it. You may not approve but don’t pretend not to understand why they are doing it.

i know its only harmless and i often laugh at these posts when i scroll through....

some people just have a very different way of mourning i suppose*

Yes, people do have different ways of mourning. But why be understanding and compassionate when you can laugh at people clearly struggling with a loss?

facebook is just shit all round isn't it? You are watched and silenced for the most stupid reasons. My auntie shared some meme about meeting a wonderful man, shes single and divorced 3 times, I said men aint shit and got a 24 hour ban for hate speech.
its full of adverts for beard oil, trousers that will apparently give me a very beautiful shapely arse, posts about some random cat coming into their garden then they inform everyone about a stray then suggestions about taking it to the vet to get it scanned. Posts about how I can't believe my dear nan has been gone 2 years, I miss her every day. She was 99 we don't live forever, my favorite .. a lady asked a few weeks ago for people to come and fix her garden for her, shes disabled, can't get out but would really like her children to be able to play outside. I might have felt sorry for her if it wasn't for the fact shes always asking for freebies, when her children were about to start school and she was asking if anyone had free uniforms because she had no money. 2 days before that she wanted a mobile hairdresser to come round and do a cut and colour.
A few weeks later shes now saying she wants a housing swap because her kids don't like it here. Oh and is (insert takeaway name) open tonight

I completely agree op
I have some people on my fbook who do this, but they're all on mute notifications

my mil sent a friend request from an account made for her dog once. That got a no from me

People who write gushing Mother's Day / Father's Day posts that their parents won't see because they're not on Facebook 🤢

I think if seeing a post from someone who is grieving offends you so much then you should get off of Facebook. It's not their fault that you lack the compassion to understand how it helps them.

Yes! @thecatsarecrazy when people ask for opening hours or phone numbers of companies, just fucking google it it would be quicker. So lazy.

People manage their grief in different ways. If someone finds posting photos on Facebook, and remembering their loved ones in this way helpful for them, then it's all good. The poster suggesting that openly grieving for a 99yo grandmother is daft, we all die etc - have some compassion. Of course the deceased won't see the Facebook post, but her friends and family will, and may be comforted from the fact she hasn't been forgotten. Some people are so callous and unkind.

Using the death (or death anniversary) of a loved one as a means of gaining attention for yourself (it’s not for them- they’re dead) on social media is crass and tasteless, I don’t understand those defending it.

Maybe we shouldn’t laugh at it, but ‘rewarding’ it with likes and comments is not the same as legitimately helping people with their grief, and is ultimately also attention-seeking behaviour.

I don’t use it anymore- got tired of the nonsense.

Yes I agree LegitSnack. My brother did this. He wrote a long post with pictures gushing about my Dad even though my parents are not on FB. Unfortunately in the real world my brother hardly contacts my parents even though he lives close by.

The worst people on FB are haters who keep looking for things to moan and bitch about.

Each to their own hey!

Using the death (or death anniversary) of a loved one as a means of gaining attention for yourself (it’s not for them- they’re dead) on social media is crass and tasteless, I don’t understand those defending it.

Attention? Or support? Do you often begrudge your friends emotional support when they are hurting? Bet you're popular

There's a very useful button on Facebook, it's called 'Unfollow'. I have used this button to unfollow every single human that I am friends with on Facebook. If I am close enough to somebody that I will hear their news in person, then I will hear it in person. If not, I probably don't need to hear it at all. Now my FB feed is a stress-free place, filled solely with posts to groups that I am very interested in. No need to get exercised about what friends are posting, or not posting, or feel like it's yet another Inbox to plough through every day clicking 'Like' or 'Sad Face' or typing a suitable reply to everyone.

I would never criticise somebody for posting tributes to lost loved ones, or even the bizarre heartfelt messages to loved ones that are still very much alive and well but are not on Facebook and would be much more likely to actually receive the heartfelt message if it was communicated by phone or text or FaceTime. But if these messages are actually seen then there is a social obligation to respond somehow, especially to the bereavement ones. And as a socially awkward person who always manages to say/write the wrong thing, I find this very stressful. Having a blanket rule not to read anything that ANYONE posts on FB means that I don't have to worry about this anymore.

In summary, people can be massively annoying arseholes on social media. If it bothers you, don't read it.

@HansBanans

Could be worse. They could invite you to one of those MLM groups several times a day, every single fecking day!!

I get what you mean though, and I've definitely been guilty of wishing my DH a happy birthday on Facebook. But that's normally to remind my parents to wish him a happy birthday as DH isn't on Facebook and they're rather forgetful

You wish your DH who isn't on FB Happy Birthday to remind your parents it's his birthday? I cannot begin to unpick this logic?

Why not send them a text a week before - "just reminding you it's Dave's birthday on the 10th, if you wanted to stick a card in the post"

I didnt think of it like that. I've just wished the cat happy birthday and now I just realised she's never going to see it. I feel so sad for her :(

@Crunchymum 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lockdown is over, you may want to go and get your life back...

I don't understand why this sort of thing winds you up so much. If you get sick of a friend's Facebook posts, unfollow them so you won't see them. Or unfriend them if you don't actually like them. (As if you actually liked them, you'd surely have some empathy if they posted something about their loved one who has died on the anniversary of their death or on their birthday? These days can be very painful if you're grieving.)

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Definitely attention. A ‘like’ is not support, as I said. I don’t begrudge anyone anything. The personal nature of your reply has been duly noted.

At least it's not the vile cesspit that Twitter has become.

Using the death (or death anniversary) of a loved one as a means of gaining attention for yourself (it’s not for them- they’re dead) on social media is crass and tasteless, I don’t understand those defending it. Maybe we shouldn’t laugh at it, but ‘rewarding’ it with likes and comments is not the same as legitimately helping people with their grief, and is ultimately also attention-seeking behaviour

My husband would have turned 50 on Sunday, I put a post up on FB, the only one I've done since he died, probably the only one I will ever do. Does that make me an attention seeker, or someone who just wanted to mark the occasion publicly with his friends and family? If people choose to like it, how am I being rewarded, given that I personally do not derive validation from likes on social media?

The personal nature of your reply has been duly noted.

The sneery nature of your post was also duly noted ,making grieving people feel like shit is pretty disgusting.

I don't have much of a problem with the birthday ones, but does anyone honestly think their friends are watching a video of them doing push ups, for 10 days in a row? To raise awareness of something well-known and totally unrelated to push ups???