To find this GP really distasteful?

[DriftGames]

I found out last night that I'm pregnant. Unplanned, unexpected as EBF 8mo & on the pill. DH and I have chosen to terminate for many reasons which are right for our family. I'm upset, we both are, but this is what's right for us.

I called my GP this morning, gave my details etc and she mentioned that I'd only recently had a baby, to which I replied yes, she's 8mo. The GP then used the phrase "that's a bit of a bummer"!!

It really got to me. Yes, it is, of course it is, and I feel awful for having to do this but it's what's right for me. Had she have said that to someone who's not so sure or was really struggling with their decision, I imagine it could be really difficult to hear!

AIBU to think she was really distasteful in saying this?

I agree with other posters who say she was meaning it sympathetically.

I think you are possibly feeling so upset at having to take this course of action that you are hyper-sensitive to anything that may be even loosely interpreted as criticism.

I don't think it was unprofessional either - she was probably using vernacular so that she would seem more humanly approachable to you if you wanted to talk about it more.

I think she was being kind.

Yep. Sympathy, empathy and non-judgemental. Just what I'd want from a doctor. And the informal language would also suit me, in that it feels more human - more like we have a connection.

Thanks everyone, think I need to give my head a wobble!

@Redredwine99 I'm on desogestrel as I'm breastfeeding.

@Ellie56 100%. We couldn't afford another at the moment, we would need to move into a bigger house, we don't want two so close together if at all!

@DriftGames thanks for replying. I’m in the waiting phase to see if the symptoms I am having are an unexpected pregnancy having switched to Desogestrel last month.
I really hope you have the support you need over the next few weeks.

"Thanks everyone, think I need to give my head a wobble!"

No you don't!

Even if she was being sympathetic-& there's probably no reason to think that she wasn't, to me it's the wrong phrase.

Whilst I don't think it would be good for a GP to be formal & emotionless all the time, I also think that some reading of a situation is helpful.

It's a big decision-even if it's one that the patient has no doubts about at all.

Falling pregnant whilst on the pill is also a big thing imo.

Neither are "bummers" to me-that would be something mildly inconvenient/annoying.

@Redredwine99 thanks for your wishes. I really hope you get the result you want, and also have some good support around you regardless!

@diddl thank you. I probably was being over sensitive but I've always had very professional GP's and it seemed so.. strange I suppose. But I imagine it's harder to read a person, especially over the phone, in such circumstances. I think I came across very confident and level headed as I'm trying not to create any emotional attachment so maybe she took a more casual tone Ron reading my persona?

I think she was sympathising with you. I wouldn't see it as distasteful. She is just saying that's a difficult situation for you.

I thought she was trying to be nice, but it's hard to know when didn't hear her tone. I can see why you'd be feeling sensitive. Sounds like a horrible time.

Phone consultations, while I'm very grateful for them right now, are going to be much harder for emotional subjects, for both doctor and patient. Without facial expression and body language, it's way harder to make a judgement call on tone. So I think you're right OP, if you sounded together she probably thought she was pitching it right.

I don't know how many patients doctors are having to call right now but I think it's going to be impossible for them to read the voice at the other end correctly every time.

You can self refer to BPAS now, you don't need to go via your GP.
I don't think they meant anything by it, by the way.