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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boris is an honourable man

23 replies

ItHappenedOneDay · 08/07/2020 09:43

Friends, Britons, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury carers, not to praise them;
The folly that they do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their residents;
So let it be with care homes. The noble Boris
Hath told you care homes were non-compliant:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath care homes answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Boris and the rest –
For Boris is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men –
Come I to speak in care homes’ decimation.
They were heroic, faithful and strong
But Boris says they were non-compliant;
And Boris is an honourable man.
He hath reduced our Covid-19 rates
And kept our death toll lower than our neighbours.
Led by example, as has Saint Dom.
When that the virus raged, carers hath toiled;
Lived in, made their own PPE:
Yet Boris says they ignored procedures;
And Boris is an honourable man.

Anyone else feel that this is a post-truth government?

OP posts:
cremuel · 08/07/2020 09:50

Very good, I love it.

Cyllie33 · 08/07/2020 09:53
Star
RufustheRowlingReindeer · 08/07/2020 09:57

Very good 😀

magimedi · 08/07/2020 10:08

Wonderful but so sad it has to be said.

Is it your own work, OP?

ItHappenedOneDay · 08/07/2020 10:35

Is it your own work, OP?

To the extent that I've mangled Shakespeare, yes Grin.

OP posts:
CaptainCorellisPangolin · 08/07/2020 10:39

Indeed. There has been no other prime minister in British history who has bullshitted with such courage, talent and consistency.

PerkingFaintly · 08/07/2020 10:42

Tragically true.Sad

NataliaOsipova · 08/07/2020 10:44

This is genius....

Loveinatimeofcovid · 08/07/2020 10:45

YABU for that poem (?) but yes, it’s absurd to start blaming care homes now.

LaurieMarlow · 08/07/2020 10:50

Excellent.

PerkingFaintly · 08/07/2020 10:58

Anyone else feel we're probably getting the same treatment Johnson metes out to his girlfriends?

We've had:

– I never did say that, it's your fault for misunderstanding (reinterpretation of rules and retrospective change to them, to excuse Cummings)

– I consider the matter closed (twice: Cummings' non-resignation; Jenrick over-ruling planning officers for a donor)

– I don't like the natural consequences of my behaviour, so you must have been doing it wrong (care home staff doing their utmost in the face of guidance which was non-existent, then wrong, then flip-flopped, while hospitals discharged infectious patients and the UK had no PPE stockpile).

The MN relationships board is full of this shit. To this day, I find it the best key to Johnson's behaviour in his jobs.

DianasLasso · 08/07/2020 11:04

Genius, OP.

ItHappenedOneDay · 08/07/2020 11:07

@PerkingFaintly. Yes. We are in an abusive relationship with our own government. Anyone else would be advised to leave, but we have to put up with this until 2024 at the earliest.

OP posts:
Flyingagainstreason · 08/07/2020 11:08

Absolutely brilliant OP. I hope this type of thing is your career! If not it should be

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 08/07/2020 11:10

Well done OP.

I agree, we are being collectively gaslit.

How can we be rid of them?

pointythings · 08/07/2020 11:27

Nicely done.

Bear in mind though that in Julius Caesar, that speech was intended to inflame people against Brutus Boris, not to excuse his actions.

OceanPacific · 08/07/2020 11:30

@pointythings

Nicely done.

Bear in mind though that in Julius Caesar, that speech was intended to inflame people against Brutus Boris, not to excuse his actions.

I think that's the exact point...

Excellent work OP - love it.

DGRossetti · 08/07/2020 11:36

.

Boris is an honourable man
Bargebill19 · 08/07/2020 11:42

Well Boris beat my prediction that care homes would be blamed by 11 months.

Love the poem.

mumwon · 08/07/2020 11:47

presumably the funeral oration is for the assassination is of the NHS (& carers & nurses & staff of care homes & especially plus the care users)
lets remember what happened to Brutus...
( I did Julius Caesar at school "let me have men about me that are fat, such men .as sleep at night." if misquoted it was about 50 years ago Grin)

Starface · 08/07/2020 12:00

That is really bloody good.

+1 agreement re gas lighting

Wankers

ItHappenedOneDay · 08/07/2020 15:11

There has been no other prime minister in British history who has bullshitted with such courage, talent and consistency.

Agree. There's an interesting article online about the dangers of leaders who bullshit:

theconversation.com/why-leaders-who-bullshit-are-more-dangerous-than-those-who-lie-125109

OP posts:
TimelyManor · 08/07/2020 15:18

@PerkingFaintly

Anyone else feel we're probably getting the same treatment Johnson metes out to his girlfriends?

We've had:

– I never did say that, it's your fault for misunderstanding (reinterpretation of rules and retrospective change to them, to excuse Cummings)

– I consider the matter closed (twice: Cummings' non-resignation; Jenrick over-ruling planning officers for a donor)

– I don't like the natural consequences of my behaviour, so you must have been doing it wrong (care home staff doing their utmost in the face of guidance which was non-existent, then wrong, then flip-flopped, while hospitals discharged infectious patients and the UK had no PPE stockpile).

The MN relationships board is full of this shit. To this day, I find it the best key to Johnson's behaviour in his jobs.

That was my life. There are so many similarities between my ex, Boris Johnston and, God help me, Trump.

Anyone else feel we're probably getting the same treatment Johnson metes out to his girlfriends?

I've been thinking this for a while.

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