School neighbour/mum ignoring me

[feb14]

1st post so hope I'm doing this correctly. But i just wanted some views. With the current pandemic were in I told my neighbour who we also walk to school with as the kids are in same class that I no longer want to walk to school with her so we can stick to social distancing rules and it doesn't confuse the kids who have to social distance at school in their bubbles. Anyway she said she was fine about it....but I don't know since we've been back it seems to me like she's being very abrupt and ignoring me she will say hello after ive said it and then turn her back to me.. She's now very pally with another mum and most days i see them stood next to each other not even obeying the distancing rules which pisses me right off but most of the parents dont seem to keep the distance either. It's really starting to get to me and I now really detest the school drop off and pick ups

It sounds like she took your request more personally than you intended.

Don’t worry about it she’s probably trying to keep her distance to respect your wishes. You’re there to drop your child off at school not to socialise anyway.

Maybe she thought you were being OTT with the social distancing. It appears to be a bit of a divide, with some people carrying on as if Covid wasn’t here - maybe she’s in that group.

Don't stress. A true friend would know what you meant and respect your wishes. Maybe she was sad as she was looking forward to the daily contact again.

Oh dear.

How bothered are you - did you really value the friendship or was it just someone you happened to walk with?

It is soon the summer hols so maybe you can just park it till next year?

Not sure how to reply to.passthecake30-bur oh yes thats a point. I take the situation very serisouly and something I belive is very much still here and feel we need to social distance. Maybe that's why shes took so offence as i dont think she has thoughts about it

She has just taken it personally by the sounds of it, her issue, not yours.

I feel there is a divide, those still aticking to guidelines amd those who are'nt.

Just continue as you were before, in terms of making polite conversation,from a distance, up to her then if she carries on being petty.

@labyrinthloafer

Oh dear.

How bothered are you - did you really value the friendship or was it just someone you happened to walk with?

It is soon the summer hols so maybe you can just park it till next year?

No i valued the friendship. We've been doing soft play together and any school events that were on she wanted to go together and sit together but now we've been there a few years it does feel like I'm pushed aside now she's got very pally with this other mum she's always stt

Standing next to... there's been another occasion she was funny with me also apparenlty my kids upset hers but we resolved it....
Hmmm maybe I'm just over worrying

You want to social distance, she doesn’t, so she’s respecting your wishes and keeping her distance.

She's not a friend, just an acquaintance. Just ignore it. She clearly has a different take on on it to you.

To be fair you’ve told her to stay away from you... and she is.

It maybe that she is a bit difficult, so long term you maybe be better off without. The thing about there being another time she was 'funny' with you. This could get a bit draining.

You’re investing too much time into what she’s doing at the school gates. You said you didn’t want to walk with her, she respected your wishes. I don’t see the problem.

but I don't know since we've been back it seems to me like she's being very abrupt and ignoring me she will say hello after ive said it and then turn her back to me..

Well you made it clear you don't want much to do with her so what did you expect would happen?

She's now very pally with another mum and most days i see them stood next to each other not even obeying the distancing rules which pisses me right off but most of the parents dont seem to keep the distance either. It's really starting to get to me and I now really detest the school drop off and pick ups

You don't like drop offs/pick ups because she has got herself another friend?

I'm sorry OP but you are the one who put the distance between you, I'm not sure why you are now feeling bad, it's what you wanted.

It maybe that she is a bit difficult, so long term you maybe be better off without. The thing about there being another time she was 'funny' with you. This could get a bit draining

This ^^

But, If my neighbour/friend said that to me id probbaly take it to heart too and be a tad upset. Maybe shes really sensitive? If it was me id of been intending to stick to social distancing anyway so I'd probably feel it was really personal that you didn't want to walk near us

Shes either a drama llama or very sensitive, good luck figuring out which it is

Tbh if you'd said that to me, I'd have taken it badly and interpreted it that you no longer wanted to be friends.

I would have done the same - sorry!
2 familes are fine to meet up, just stay away from each other and remind the children to do the same. Unless they're reception age, they should have got the concept by now.

If they're in the same bubble what's the problem? The kids in my son's bubble aren't distancing from each other. So our household already has all the bubble parents' germs. Same with my son's nursery. Eldest is only in reception so maybe different rules for older classes.

You said you don't want to walk with her/her kids to school. She still says hello to you, so she isn't ignoring you. She respected your wish. I see nothing wrong.

Why couldn't you walk to school with her still but at a social distance? Meeting people outside for exercise has been allowed for a while now, how is walking to school any different?
You're not unreasonable to have asked not to if you feel strongly about it, but she's equally within her rights to be distant from you now and spend time chatting to others instead. I would be too if I were her. She still says hello. What more do you want from her?

You asked her not to walk to school with you and she is respecting that. She has probably taken offense at what you asked, even if that wasn't your intention. She is also allowed to be friends with the other mums as well if she wants to.

It sounds like you both have very different attitudes about this type of thing. Especially if there has been previous problems too. It's probably best to let the friendship slide because I don't think it's destined to last.

She is doing what you asked.

Well you made it clear you don't want much to do with her so what did you expect would happen?
You haven't read this properly. The OP explained she wanted to stick to social distancing so that the children, who social distance within their bubbles, don't get confused. Nothing the OP said suggests she doesn't want much to do with her. In fact the OP has said she valued the friendship.

You don't like drop offs/pick ups because she has got herself another friend?
No. The OP doesn't like drop offs/pick ups because the parents aren't social distancing and because her neighbour, who was previously friendly with her, appears to be ignoring her now.

Are you hard of reading or just being unpleasant for the sake of it?