To just want to have sex without getting terrible cystitis?!

[yellowbelliedcreature]

DH and I TTC #2 so every month we’re going at it like rabbits at the right time. For the last four months I’ve ended up with awful, agonising cystitis every single month and only antibiotics will shift it (and then I get thrush). Just woke up with that horrible stinging sensation and I’m so fucking FED UP.

Have always been prone to it and a urologist years and years ago told me to take an antibiotic every time I had sex. This, along with lifestyle changes detailed below, really reduced the number I got. However can’t find a GP who will prescribe this for me now as they’re all worried about antibiotic resistance, plus I worry about the wisdom of taking an antibiotic seven days in a row. Don’t know why I worry when I’m having to take a full course monthly anyway . Urine samples never seem to show any bacterial growth but I’ll drop one in to GP today anyway.

I also
*Take D Mannose - hoped this would be a miracle this month but no
*Wash before and after sex, DH showers immediately before, and always wee afterwards (prob not helping TTC )
*Avoid thongs and tight jeans etc
*Cranberry does nothing
*Drink loads of water
*Take probiotics
*Never use perfumed body wash and don’t use any soap around my vulva, just hot water

I know there are much worse things in the world at the moment so don’t want to sound self pitying but just can’t go through this every month, I feel so sad.

Going to call GP when they open and beg for help.

Off to sit on loo and cry

This was my life for the first ten years after I started having sex - pretty much permanent cystitis! It's so miserable, I completely sympathise OP - and having it while you're TTC, lordy. I became resistant to Trimethoprim, had that bladder distension thing, a urosocopy, the works. One doctor told me they usually just waited till women had a baby as that would clear it up - well it clearly hasn't for you and many women, plus I don't want children, so thanks for the help, doc!

What eventually worked for me was them switching me to Nitrofurantoin antibiotic, as that was stronger and shifted the embedded infection - they don't like to use it unless as a last resort so you might have to push for it. It took years!

For any sufferers, when in the States I discovered this miracle product that they don't sell here for some bizarre reason. Instead of those rank, useless OTC cystitis powders that we are fobbed off with, they have something called Azo: www.amazon.co.uk/AZO-Standard-UTI-Treatment-Count/dp/B07BKZYT46?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It numbs your bladder and totally relieves the pain - it's amazing! I used to stock up on it when travelling but now you can buy it on amazon - I always have some in in case of rare flareups. It tuns your pee bright orange, but a small price to pay for total relief. Read the amazon reviews

Long term cystitis sufferer after sex, I have pretty much cured it by

1. lots of KY jelly during sex, less friction
2. big wee after sex
3. no shower gel when washing vulva, I think the soap pushes bacteria the wrong way
4. wash intimate areas with aquaeous cream (on advice if doctor) as a skin cleanser not as a moisturizer.
5. get antibiotics the minute it flairs up, to try and stop it getting a hold

Good luck. It's taken about ten years for me to get it vaguely under control. I still get nervous having sex on holiday as medical help might not be readily available.

I used to suffer a lot - tmi but it was the last shag too many that did it. So defo lots of lube and no cross contamination down there. A wee and a wash straight afterwards - I use dove soap not drying at all, wash with a finger round your urethra. And for pain relief, best thing ever is a hot water bottle between your legs.

Some suggestions here are not appropriate.
Baby oil and scrubbing with soap.
If you have thrush you're almost guaranteed it returning with that regime.
Be careful with these suggestions.

Thank god I have found this thread.

Constant cystitis after sex has killed off our sex life at this end. Most of these things I have being doing/tried but there are some new suggestions that give me hope.

I really suffered when I was younger with this (still get the odd bout) - the thing that stopped it when I was younger was cranberry tablets, they really helped. And all the rest of the shower / double void etc.

Also - minimise actual time having sex, and certain positions can aggravate the friction.

What's the deal with D mannose tablets? Do you take them daily or only on days when you're "romantic"

Also, are they something you can take long term?

Take D mannose every day, you can take more Frequently when you have an active bout of cystitis.

And yes to long term

I had this at one point. Partner was very clean, used soap free wash, nothing perfumes etc as it was a god awful horror.

Never had the issue with any other partner before or after and none of these had to try 1001 things to try and avoid potential contributing factors and I didn’t do anything differently. I still can’t work it out.

DSIL has this and is now on a permanent low dose antibiotic. My dad is too BTW, he got recurring bladder infections and has been on a low dose daily antibiotic for years.

Oh you poor things (op and others). I had this- every single time I had sex I then had a uti, but drinking a large glass of cranberry juice after sex without fail just stopped it. Once I only had half a glass worth left and I got a mild one so I’m religious about it. I hope you find something that works!

OP I really feel for you, I had the same whilst we were TTC (unfortunately years trying to conceive). I also had a check with a urologist and did all the things you are already doing.

The only thing I can add is that I completely cut out alcohol and caffeine as they irritate the bladder. Fortunately I haven’t had an attack in 2 years - maybe a coincidence but if you can cut these out then it may help (apologies if you have already said you’ve done this, I haven’t read the whole thread).

Wow, you have no idea how much better I feel knowing I’m not alone and reading some of these brilliant suggestions! Thank you. Have just bought some BioKult tablets - thank you to poster who recommended these (so sorry, I can’t remember who it was - so tired after being up weeing all night!!) and my GP has agreed to refer me to a urologist. Also looking into private clinics so if anyone has any recommendations - feel like I spend a fortune on supplements, lube, potassium citrate etc so maybe money better spent on expert advice?!

@SueEllenMishke will give vit C a try!
@DragonLegs so sorry if this is too personal but could you explain what you mean a bit more about the positions?
@StrawberryCloud you’ve reminded me that years ago I had a cystoscopy under local. They didn’t find anything of note except some scarring but I did notice infections dropped right off for a while.
@Batqueen thank you! Never even heard of quercetin - really interesting!
@IdblowJonSnow love the name we have been TTC for a while now taking a more casual approach but now starting to get bit anxious about it so going all guns blazing. May have to reduce frequency next month
@gnushoes that Angela Kilmartin book was my bible for years. Always wash thoroughly around the bum (oh Christ can’t believe I typed that) before sex but have got lazy doing it after every poo (ahhh). Maybe will go back to it. Really interesting what you say about thrush too - I also suffer from this after taking the ABs for the UTI and the burning feeling is exactly the same!
@JeremyIronsBenFolds wow - amazing! Ordered some thanks
@livingthegoodlife thanks - sorry if too personal - when you say Aquarius cream in intimate areas do you mean around the urethra? Does it feel like it actually cleans other areas? I worry would be quite greasy and not cleaning?!
@JacksCreation you know I feel your pain! Hope some of these wonderful tips help you too, it’s awful and takes a real toll on your relationship xx

Oh and for all those with tips on diet / cutting out caffeine and alcohol - thank you, seriously. Will do some research and play around a bit. Xx

@recededpronunciation

I hate to say it, but I had an ex who rubbed me up the wrong way, so to speak, so I had cystitis for 2.5 years. Since we split, and I met my now-DH, I've never had it once.
We just did not fit together right

Have you changed any medication by the way? My doctor never agreed with me on this, but when I changed my contraception to the pill I had incessant monthly cystitis, which only stopped when I stopped the pill a year later

I could also have wrote this, although being single means I haven't had this problem for a while.

I tend to get UTI's followed by thrush or BV, I've tried absolutely everything. I do take cranberry tables very regularly both in and out of a relationship and have tried everything else to no avail. You have my full sympathy and I hadn't realised how many other women this affects so I'm a bit happier not to be on my own.

I've had a few instances where I had very bad recurrent cystitis, and also recurrent bouts of bacterial tonsilitis. Not at the same time!

Long story short - you may need (much) stronger antibiotics than you've been prescribed so far, to completely clear the infection.

On each occasion where I had a recurrent infection, I was initially prescribed a few courses of standard ABs, which helped at most to relieve symptoms for a few days before the infection flared up again. On each occasion, the infections only cleared after a course of a much stronger AB which I felt the GP was reluctant to prescribe (not sure if cost or resistance was the main concern).

I'm not sure if all that points to AB resistance or just that the first ABs were not strong enough or long enough courses to properly clear the infections. Might be worth asking your GP if this hasn't already been explored. Good luck!

I had this problem. All the advice above about washing, weeing and supplements did nothing to stop it. All the physical checks showed no problem but I was getting it weekly.
Eventually I was referred to a local consultant who had worked with Prof Malone-Lee and after more tests he put me on a course of Trimethroprim (sp?) for I think 3 months. That finally cured an underlying infection that week long courses weren't getting to. That was 20 years ago and I have only had it once or twice since.

Haven’t read all of this.

I went to hell and back with these. Apparently the test is 50 years out of date, as the bacteria hides in the bladder walls. Anyone who suffered from this needs long term antibiotics.

However, even after all this for me, l still got an attack after sex. Every single time.

Now have prophylactic cephalexan to take immediately after sex.

Never had it since

My mate has this and was an expert in helping me when I had it a few times. She found sugar to be a big baddie. Biona cranberry cordial from health food shops. She downs pints of this stuff - it's pretty grim at first but it seems to stave it off for her in addition to the mega cleanliness before and after.

It got to the point where when she was TTC she thought about using a syringe rather than doing the actual act! Bit grim... sorry!

I take 10ml potassium citrate in liquid form each day which is the only thing that prevents it and take it after sex as well. Its the main ingredient in cystitis medication.

It tastes disgusting but works so well!

Yuck, I hate this. All I want to do after sex is cuddle and go to sleep but nope, if I do that then I’m guaranteed to wake up in agony with cystitis.

However, for years now I immediately wee then have a quick wash with mild ph friendly soap (you can get them from organic health food shops) and haven’t had cystitis since.