To just want to have sex without getting terrible cystitis?!

[yellowbelliedcreature]

DH and I TTC #2 so every month we’re going at it like rabbits at the right time. For the last four months I’ve ended up with awful, agonising cystitis every single month and only antibiotics will shift it (and then I get thrush). Just woke up with that horrible stinging sensation and I’m so fucking FED UP.

Have always been prone to it and a urologist years and years ago told me to take an antibiotic every time I had sex. This, along with lifestyle changes detailed below, really reduced the number I got. However can’t find a GP who will prescribe this for me now as they’re all worried about antibiotic resistance, plus I worry about the wisdom of taking an antibiotic seven days in a row. Don’t know why I worry when I’m having to take a full course monthly anyway . Urine samples never seem to show any bacterial growth but I’ll drop one in to GP today anyway.

I also
*Take D Mannose - hoped this would be a miracle this month but no
*Wash before and after sex, DH showers immediately before, and always wee afterwards (prob not helping TTC )
*Avoid thongs and tight jeans etc
*Cranberry does nothing
*Drink loads of water
*Take probiotics
*Never use perfumed body wash and don’t use any soap around my vulva, just hot water

I know there are much worse things in the world at the moment so don’t want to sound self pitying but just can’t go through this every month, I feel so sad.

Going to call GP when they open and beg for help.

Off to sit on loo and cry

Thanks so much everyone - feel so much better knowing other people have come out the other side of this and although I don’t want anyone to suffer it does make me feel less alone!

Sex has always been the trigger for me. It means I’m always quite anxious to do it so we... well... don’t, very often but really trying to up our game with TTC so doing it every day during fertile week. Just don’t think my body can cope!

I really appreciate all your advice and tips. Xxx

@kakiqueen never heard of this but will gladly give it a go!
@hamstersarse so pleased you found something that worked for you! Fair play. I have been dreading someone saying to change my diet but worth looking into for sure
@TheLegendOfZelda no, no allergy to anything that I know of - this has been a problem with condoms, without, sometimes even with enthusiastic fingers (sorry TMI!!)

This is me! Have had this problem since became sexually active - almost 20 years now :( Also TTC and it's a nightmare. Is Interstitial Cystitis with sex as a trigger as possibility?

I’m in the same position, I stopped taking antibiotics as sometimes j get really I’ll and I was scared they wouldn’t work when I really needed them. I just loads and loads and loads of water daily. That seems to help but not get rid but it reduces stinging.

Peeing immediately after sex pretty much cured this for me.

Lube, a really good slippery one to help prevent friction again the urethra. I've heard this is especially helpful if your partner is, um, rather well endowed.

Hi,
When the urine dip or culture return with a ‘negative’ result - doesn’t mean you don’t have a uti. The tests are not particularly sensitive (the urine dips are hopeless). I was on antibiotics for years and throughout one pregnancy. It’s fine.
There is a brilliant clinician if you can afford it - his name is Professor Malone Lee. He has stopped nhs practice now.
There isn’t actually any evidence for drinking water, or emptying bladder after sex, although clearly it seems helpful for some. Unfortunately some of us are just cursed with embedded bladder infections that are difficult to treat.

Diet change... sorry.. no sugar or refined carbs, I would also go the whole hog and do a 4 week no gluten, dairy, sugar, soya, alcohol, coffee. I have loads of recipes of you want me to share them.

Also see a homeopath who also works with herbs who may also be able to help with conception, sepia works for me if I slip up with food and then have sex. I can feel the sensations very quickly so can stop it quickly.

Showering after sex, angling the spray in that area, may help.

You have my sympathies. I have the same problem and I'm thoroughly fed up of it as well. Nothing seems to help apart from the antibiotics which aren't really practical.

Do you drink any alcohol or caffeine? I had to cut out both completely to stop flare ups. D mannoose worked well for me but I had to take quite high doses. Getting in a warm bath straight after sex helped too, although not ideal if you’re ttc. Hope it eases and you get pregnant soon.

Also- there isn’t a lot of evidence that every day during fertile period helps, every other day is enough.

I had this with a new partner. Permanently on bloody powdered cystitis relief and it wouldn't stop.
I was in agony.
It got better but in the mean time I used to take ibuprofen and baking soda drink to neutralise urine.
You'd need to stop ibuprofen once pregnant.

I suggest urologist though as this sounds extreme

I suffered terribly with this and the GP was next to useless over this.

Apart from suggestions already made I.e. drinking water; peeing before and after sex no fragrance body wash the biggest change for me was altering my diet
I gave up tea, tomatoes and chocolate but some women find giving up alcohol and coffee helps too. Worth playing around with your diet
I also found cranberry tablets were very beneficial.

I had recurrent cystitis after sex for months on end. The only thing that stopped it and has kept it away for over 2 years now has been cutting out sugar from my diet. And like you I'd tried all the usual remedies and advice to avoid it. I think when urine is sugary it is far easier for bacteria to multiply as they have a food source. If that makes sense! Might be worth a try. Good luck

Yy to sugar. I have to limit it (not a bad thing for general health anyway). I had such a sweet tooth but now if I fancy a snack I go for cheese/olives etc.

Try effervescent vitamin c tablets.
I get cystitis symptoms regularly and I got it once during a weekend away in Amsterdam. The pharmacist told me to drink water with the vitamin c in it as it takes the sting out of it. It worked for me and 5 years later at the first sign of symptoms that's what I take.

You have my sympathy. It's bloody awful

Read the title without my glasses on and thought it said that you just wanted to have sex with terrible cyclists. Really hope you find something that helps, sounds miserable.

I used to get this all the time. The only thing that sorted it was me showering before and only having sex where by husband enters from the Clitoris side of the vagina only and only tummy to tummy positions.

I suffered with this for years.

It's worth pushing for a referral, OP. I've had two diagnostic cystoscopies under GA and both times they found that my urethra was so tight/contracting that they struggled to get the camera up to the bladder. The camera stretched the urethra and the consultant advised me that this in itself might resolve the problem- which it did! It was several years after the first cystoscopy before I had issues again and they needed to do it again.

With my tight tube in mind I often try and do a 'power wee' now and again- really blast it out! I still get some symptoms around my period (when everything down there gets tight and crampy) but I haven't needed ABs for a good 15 years now (touch wood).

Like you, my urine tests rarely showed infection which I suppose supports the idea that a tight/irritated urethra was the issue rather than bacterial infection.

Sympathies, UTIs are absolutely hideous. Really hope you can get some relief.

Hi,

I’m under the gynaecologist for this and they also recommended quercetin (supplement) alongside d mannose along with a whole load of foods to reduce/avoid that can be inflammatory.

Definitely get a referral as research has moved on a lot! Mine has improved a lot since following the guidance.

There is hope!

Hope this helps some of you - some info I was sent from the gynae team

Sympathies op. I've always been very bladdery/prone to cystitis as well with often results coming back negative (though not alwsys).
Could you dial back on the sex a bit? You should get pregnant anyway without really going for it? Might just take a bit longer.
Also could you focus on other ahem, activities and your partner just enter you towards the end? So sorry not to phrase more elegantly!! Ha ha.

It is a horrible feeling. Been there so many times. Hope u can get a referral asap. Treatment PP suggested sounds promising.

Might try the Vit C in water thing myself.

This has been me in lots of my life as well - but oddly enough once I got pregnant I had very little cystitis for years. When I got to peri menopause it flared up again and turns out mostly to be urogenital atrophy - one of those delights nobody tells you about.
I can see you wash before and after sex and pee. Angela Kilmartin, who was the cystitis guru of 20 years ago, also said it was crucially important to wash (with soap, and quite invasively round your anus) after every poo. Her washing technique for both was important too - the water must go front to back. Anything else risks the bugs ending up where you don't want them to.

And another thing - these days I get thrush in my urethra and bladder - none of the usual symptoms - it feels basically like cystitis.