To be sick of Covid whingers?!

[MissingThePoint1]

I am soooooooo fed up of listening to people moan about covid and what they've 'lost' from their own perspective without seeing the bigger picture.

Maternity leave and pregnancy rights particularly irritate me.. daily I see people moaning and creating petitions to extend maternity leave for those who were effected by covid because it's not fair they've missed out on valuable experiences. I'm not on maternity leave but I do have a 1 year old and it's equally hard to be stuck at home day in day out with him. We miss parks, we miss groups.. how do we get our time back? How can we be compensated?! We can't.. we suck it up and make the best of it.. Same as those on mat leave should.

Moaning about partners not being allowed to appointments, scans, visiting hours etc. I'm pregnant, my husband hasn't been to my scans, I'm having a section so it's likely he won't be at the birth either.. it's shit I agree. But to moan about it. To feel robbed and go on just irritates me.. your moaning you husband can't be at your 12 week scan.. families are missing funerals, missing saying goodbye to loved ones. People are dying alone in hospitals. Being alone for your scan is not huge in comparison. There are extremely clinically vulnerable women needing to access maternity services so why shouldn't be made as safe as physically possible for them. Why can't people accept that?!

I'm disappointed. I thought this pandemic would bring us together, unite us, make people less selfish but I was clearly very naive. Everyone's made sacrifices and everyone has been effected in some way.. why can't people try and see the bigger picture.

[airbags]

Whinging about whinging.
Not recognising that people are entitled to feel how they do without having to justify it to a stranger on MN.

You can have your partner at a Caesarean section BTW.

With 20% of mums experiencing post natal depression under normal circumstances and more experience it and PN anxiety during Covid I think you're bang out of order for knocking them.

[xolotltezcatlopoca]

Aibu to be sick of covid whingers whingers?

[LividLaughLovely]

@Namesgonenow your study sounds fascinating. I’ve spent a long, long time trying to become a mum through some pretty horrendous traumas.

To finally give birth as we went into lockdown and for the outside world to be upturned at such a vulnerable time has been... a lot. It’s not just about missing Baby Sensory, is it?

[Catastrofuck]

Hmm but it’s not necessarily the effect of COVID is it. Some of it is decisions made regarding lockdown and how to manage COVID rather than caused by the disease itself. Eg family members not being able to be with dying relatives - the NHS made a bad call there and had to change this rule for many cases as it was unnecessary and cruel

[LividLaughLovely]

Oh @Crumpettes oh god. I’m so, so sorry.

[Namesgonenow]

Spammer! Excellent! Just mixes it up 😂

[Namesgonenow]

That was to the Jullie something spam porn post above

[Namesgonenow]

@LividLaughLovely I hear you. Aside from having an infant myself - the perinatal women in my project all echoes the same things. Not one disproportionate impact was about baby sensory or that alone - we are dealing with a widespread institutional diversion of resources from perinatal needs which have historically been cut and made vulnerable and left entirely onto the charity sector. There’s so much on this and so much wrong in the Op That I don’t even know where to start! Im

[CeibaTree]

OP you know people moaning about things is only a snapshot of their day. I'm sure these people you are referring to are just as concerned by the state of the world as you are, but having a moan about something doesn't mean that they are unable to grasp the bigger picture. It's not a race to the bottom - people can moan about what you may think are petty things about their current circumstances while still caring about other 'bigger' things too.
And I agree with pp, your post is one of the biggest whinges I've read on here for a while! But maybe you've decided if you can't beat them then join them :)

[GabriellaMontez]

It's people like you I'm fed up of. Denying people the chance to discuss their personal disappointments.

And why would it unite us anyway?

[Tellmetruth4]

Yes we all need to stop being doomsters and gloomsters. Our government has been world beating in its efforts to contain the virus and once this is all over we have have a no deal Brexit to look forward to in just under 5 months. Nothing to moan about in the slightest!

[TheGroak]

Can you not see the real bigger picture OP, that it’s all relative? Millions of people being affected by the same thing but in different ways? Same storm, different boats.

People have the right to feel miserable about how this disaster has affected them personally and actually, I’d argue it’s much healthier than trying to convince yourself and others that there’s always someone worse off.

[Tellmetruth4]

You have no right to tell people what they can and can’t moan about. You can keep your stuff upper lip, bottle it all up BS to yourself.

[TheGroak]

And you actually though this would unite ‘us’? How so?

You fell for the propaganda hard didn’t you.

[Mascotte]

@Tellmetruth4

Yes we all need to stop being doomsters and gloomsters. Our government has been world beating in its efforts to contain the virus and once this is all over we have have a no deal Brexit to look forward to in just under 5 months. Nothing to moan about in the slightest!

😂😂

[Iwalkinmyclothing]

Moaning is what gets a lot of people through. Not keeping a stiff upper lip and pretending they aren't upset by everything, admitting that they feel shit and hate what's happening and letting it out. Like you have done in this post, complained about something that annoys you. I hope it's made you feel better!

[Heidi1976]

I personally hate the opinion that you can't feel bad or upset about things because someone out there 'has it worse'. It just invalidates people's feelings, makes them feel like they can't take about said feelings for fear of being told 'get over it, at least you aren't x, y or z' and then end up depressed or worse because they have no outlet for what is affecting them at that time.

[Heidi1976]

*talk

[Namesgonenow]

Sorry OP you are possibly not coming back but I feel I need to address these points -

1. Pregnancy and maternity are evidenced to be one of the most vulnerable periods in women’s lives. Social isolation, psychological difficulties, postnatal trauma, infant feeding difficulties are all proven causes of PND. BAME mothers and mothers with poor socio economic conditions are at greater risk.
   

1. There are various checks against these put in place. curbs to social isolation include various parent and baby groups health visitors being able to visit families in person mean often keeping an eye out on signs of abuse or otherwise signs of struggling appointments that women can walk into are often more useful than speaking on the phone and in general there is - despite funding cuts - some structural measures in place
   

1. The pandemic turned this on its head. Women who went through birth trauma often had partners who were asked to leave shortly after. Women found themselves with their health visited re deployed to respiratory support units. One woman told me she was desperate to even see a midwife in PPE through the window as her only sign of human contact. Perinatal services were deemed non essential.
   

1. As a consequence the most vulnerable women suffered the most. They were the most digitally disconnected - and in numerous cases online appointments failed to do it tongue ties, signs of abuse or - as a mum said - I just need someone to see my face. Digital didn’t replace in person perinatal support.
   

1. Many mums developed deliberating anxiety as a consequence of the virus and further locked themselves down: nobody spotted them. All perinatal providers were dealing with re deployment.
   

1. Coming to baby groups: those groups, and those baby weigh in clinics are not just for rhymes. They are windows of social opportunity for a depressed woman to be seen and spotted by somone. To open up a channel of communication. Health visitors to whom I presented findings recently said they specifically found the absence of baby clinics catastrophic NOT because weighing a baby is A big deal but because they missed chances to see women’s faces and chat to them on one side.
   

As a consequence numerous vulnerable women fell through holes.

This isn’t about missing twinkle twinkle little star. If in any doubt please consult resources from the Institure of Health Visiting, from the Parent Infant Foundation, the NCT, Maternal Mental Health Alliance. You’ve commented dismissively on something you know nothing about.

[SomewhereEast]

You were quite naive if you thought that, sorry!

Also totally agree with @namesgonenow. I'm past that stage now, but I have so much sympathy with anyone going through pregnancy, birth & the new baby phase right now. I had PND with both of mine & just being able to go and sit in a coffeeshop with a friend & our babies was a lifesaver. Also regarding scans, they're not always warm fizzy "Ooohhh look at our cute baby" moments. We had a missed miscarriage once which was only discovered at the 12 week scan & it was devastating. I can't imagine having gone through that without DH.

[FluffyKittensinabasket]

People are allowed to think and feel whatever they want OP.

[Fatted]

Oh the irony of your post OP!

You are also failing to see the bigger picture that everyone has their own experience. If you were moaning about people moaning about not being able to get KFC, I'd perhaps be more inclined to agree with you.

[BankofNook]

And to add to @Namesgonenow's post, there are women who have been locked down with their abuser for whomever baby groups and weight clinics are a 90 minute respite or an opportunity to say to a professional "I need help".

[Newkitchen123]

As someone who recently lost a parent and was only allowed ten at the funeral, as someone who was the only one allowed in to say goodbye, I still think OP is being unfair. People deal with stuff in their own way. People have been locked away from friends and family and work etc for months. So if they want to use social media as an outlet then let them without judging them