To be sick of Covid whingers?!

[MissingThePoint1]

I am soooooooo fed up of listening to people moan about covid and what they've 'lost' from their own perspective without seeing the bigger picture.

Maternity leave and pregnancy rights particularly irritate me.. daily I see people moaning and creating petitions to extend maternity leave for those who were effected by covid because it's not fair they've missed out on valuable experiences. I'm not on maternity leave but I do have a 1 year old and it's equally hard to be stuck at home day in day out with him. We miss parks, we miss groups.. how do we get our time back? How can we be compensated?! We can't.. we suck it up and make the best of it.. Same as those on mat leave should.

Moaning about partners not being allowed to appointments, scans, visiting hours etc. I'm pregnant, my husband hasn't been to my scans, I'm having a section so it's likely he won't be at the birth either.. it's shit I agree. But to moan about it. To feel robbed and go on just irritates me.. your moaning you husband can't be at your 12 week scan.. families are missing funerals, missing saying goodbye to loved ones. People are dying alone in hospitals. Being alone for your scan is not huge in comparison. There are extremely clinically vulnerable women needing to access maternity services so why shouldn't be made as safe as physically possible for them. Why can't people accept that?!

I'm disappointed. I thought this pandemic would bring us together, unite us, make people less selfish but I was clearly very naive. Everyone's made sacrifices and everyone has been effected in some way.. why can't people try and see the bigger picture.

[Bluemoooon]

Apart from conspiracy theorists - for most media normal life is not going on - there is no scandal in Holywood/ photos of worldwide leaders doing stuff/ no sporting acheivements/ no media star birth/ wedding/ funeral.
So all that's left is the individual moans and doom laden forecasts.

[rwalker]

I think it's human nature your more interested and vocal about things that directly affect you .
Best example of this I was fucking outrage the other week watching PM's announcemnt as gyms not opening ranting about this then in same annoucament they were on about 1000's of deaths I'm ashamed to say I wasn't ranting about that.
OF COURSE THE DEATHS ARE HORRIFIC and don't for one minute think gym's are more important
hope I've put my point across

[countrygirl99]

Are you ok with me moaning that when my 93yo dad was taken into hospital with a potentially fatal condition ( that he GP had missed because he would only give him a phone consultation) that no one could be with him or visit while they did all the tests so my mum (dementia) was only getting phone updates that confused her. Or is that too whiney for you?

[MsTSwift]

Yes my poor friends so “whiny” they’ve all lost their jobs as just heard their company is not reopening. Such moaners 🙄

[ThistlyPerf]

I think there is something missing from your colleagues awful experience SimonJT. As others have pointed out partners are always allowed at the birth - unless they are symptomatic. To not allow a partner at the birth, or to meet their child, or to say goodbye is inhumane and I can’t imagine any Trust having that policy.

[JoeCalFuckingZaghe]

Oh do fuck off. We’re in a global pandemic, and even if we weren’t, people are allowed to feel how they feel.

My wedding was cancelled. In the grand scheme of things not a big deal. Did I have a moan and a cry and a whinge about it, of course I did. Something we’ve been working towards for a couple of years, poured a lot of energy and money into, just gone. My “moaning” and venting about being upset doesn’t negate the bigger picture. I can still see it and be well aware of the atrocities they are going on and I can still feel for those.

I can’t even imagine being pregnant during this and having to deal with something quite so significant. But then I can’t imagine being so ignorant and naive to post something like your op either.

[user1493413286]

I hate it when people make this point as its like saying I can’t complain about a migraine because someone has a brain tumour out there. I’m currently on maternity leave and I do agree that extending maternity leave is not exactly a priority in the current economic climate but equally just because someone is finding it hard or disappointed how something has turned out it makes their feelings no less valid just because they aren’t worse effected

[MsTSwift]

Sorry about your wedding that’s properly shit.

My year sixer leaving primary with nothing - no production no assembly no disco. She’s Spent years watching other years leave and so excited that this year finally her and her friends turn - but sod all. She’s been great about it but yes I had a little cry.

[Wingingthis]

@Catastrofuck

“ because none of these basic needs for care (like others my antenatal appts have been minimal) , support, control , are anything to do with a sense of entitlement. They are essential buffers against PND and trauma”

This. I have been mostly fortunate in the outcomes to my pregnancy and birth but it has been such a headfuck to get to grips with the fact that things that were previously deemed essential for maternal and infant wellbeing (with my first child) suddenly weren’t. I had my baby during the first few weeks of lockdown and in the weeks prior to my due date restrictions were changing daily. Each time you accepted “ok, that’s not going to be available / how I expected” and then the next day something else was stopped. It got to the point where I felt like I needed to know what the absolute bare minimum could be - what was the absolute basic care I could expect, an empty room and a midwife? A tent in the car park? - because the ever-decreasing options (that were previously felt to be essential for maternal and infant wellbeing, not just “nice to have”) were hard to keep track of

I totally get you. I got borderline obsessive with cracking my hospitals maternity Facebook page as the restrictions were literally changing daily. Became terrified after reading posts, like this one, about possibly birthing alone (completely untrue!!) and the postnatal care has been so minimal.
I’ve said so many times that I feel so lucky to have had a positive pregnancy & birth and to feel confident as it’s my second baby.
If this had happened with my first, traumatic birth, young new mum & a very refluxy colicky baby with undiagnosed allergies I would have very quickly end easily slipped into PND. Health visitor clinics & baby groups saved my sanity and it’s very sad and scary that they seem to be overlooked with restrictions easing

[Northernparent68]

Not everyone agrees with lockdown op, and they’re entitled to their opinion

[Iggly]

YABU OP.

People are entitled to complain and express their feelings.

Sometimes that is difficult to hear and of course there’s always someone worse off.

But does that make people’s “complaints” any less valid?

[redcarbluecar]

Agree with some of the sentiment behind what you say - it’s useful to try and get our concerns into perspective if we can. However, people are entitled to their own experiences and to their feelings, and I think it’s a bit lazy and thoughtless to dismiss those feelings as ‘moaning’ and ‘whinging’. Those words are used a lot these days to imply that other people’s concerns (however big or small, public or private) are trivial and meaningless. I think we need to hear how people are experiencing this situation.

[IrishMamaMia]

People are obviously going to moan about things that affect them personally, you're quite the moaner yourself from your OP. I don't care what you think, I'm never getting those months back..nor is the economy.

[IrishMamaMia]

@wanderings some truth here for sure

[Littlemeadow123]

Sorry OP. I had no idea it was a competition.

[Woodlandwalks]

So going by this same thought process no one is ever allowed to moan about anything ever. It's raining here ruining my plans but there's a hurricane somewhere. I got made redundant today, some never even had a job somewhere. I got locked out of my house today, someone is homeless somewhere. I got mugged today, someone got mugged worse somewhere else. People are allowed to feel sad and disappointed when things happen to them and who are you to say how they should feel about it just because you apparently handle it so much better than everyone else because you're obviously a much better and more considerate person than anyone else in the entire country..... Except towards anyone who hasn't suffered a significant enough upset according to you of course.

[PopsicleHustler]

Everyone is suffering, losing out, missing out in different ways during this covid19 situation. You dont know and understand everyone's circumstances. Yes, we are suffering from losing loved ones, we are devastated bu the death rates. We all want it to end. But, I am gutted my hubby cant come for the scans but it is what it is. So I shouldn't be unhappy about it because if your opinions, which are by the way, whinging!!!! Goodness gracious! Let people be upset ! Let people moan! Let people discuss their thoughts and feelings! It's up to them !

[PopsicleHustler]

Here here! Woodland walks!

[KaptainKaveman]

10/10 for involuntary irony, OP.

A massive whinge about....people who whinge.

[Catastrofuck]

The “you are all feeble whiners” lot were dreadful during lockdown. I saw one thread in the Pregnancy topic where someone (who wasn’t pregnant) told worried women that they were lucky they weren’t giving birth in a refugee camp like Shamima Begum. It was crackers. It was also the Pregnancy topic where the focus is... pregnancy and birth. It’s not like pregnant women had gone on a thread about bereavement due to coronavirus to complain about not having partners at scans!

[Saladmakesmesad]

There are some big losses due to Covid and some terrible tragedies caused directly and indirectly by this pandemic. But there are also lots of disappointments and it’s ok to feel sad about them even though they’re not life and death. A little ballet/obsessed girl I know who is in care had tickets to her first ever real ballet for her birthday. Her face when she saw those tickets! But it got cancelled. Nobody died, she’s ok, she’ll go to another one eventually I hope but in the meantime it’s ok to be sad.

[Crumpettes]

In the past two years before Covid I found out at two different scans (12 wk and 20 wk) that my babies had died, so I was feeling very very nervous about going to all my scans alone for my most recent pregnancy.

I had scans at 9 weeks, 12 weeks, 17 weeks all on my own and was starting to feel confident and get used to going on my own. Then I found out at 20 weeks, three weeks ago, that yet again my baby had died. All I remember is screaming that I needed to call my partner, then having to make that phone call while he was at home looking after our three year old. Having to wait on hospital on my own while I waited for him to sort childcare and get to me. It was all so traumatising.

So yeah, I think I have every right to whinge.

[Shutupyoutart]

Op I get what you are trying to say about there being people who have suffered tremendously during this pandemic and some of the other things seem minor in comparison to someone losing their life or lives of loved ones however it is possible to feel compassion for those people and also feel sad about your own circumstances. Every single persons feelings are valid. Everyone has the right to feel how they feel it isn't a competition if it was yeah sure some people have suffered worse then others but that doesn't make their struggles less valid. I have a friend who has struggled with fertility issues she found out she was pregnant during the lock down and even though she was over the moon she has been filled with anxiety throughout. She was convinced something would go wrong at the scan and she was devastated her partner couldn't be there to support her. Thankfully everything was fine but she was allowed to be angry and upset that he wasn't there due to covid. I have a lump in my breast, my doctor is unconcerned but I have to have a mammogram I'm on a waiting list due to covid, its prob nothing and compared to other people's suffering its nothing but I am allowed to feel worried and annoyed that covid has impacted the care I would have received. My brother has had to cancel his wedding, they were so upset and had alot of tears yes its nothing compared to someone who has lost their life from covid and they recognise that they are lucky to have each other and their health but they are allowed to be upset that this has happened. Sorry this has turned into a bit of a long winded speel but my point is there's always been someone who's situation trumps another's even before covid and we are allowed to feel how we feel and yes moan if we wish. I mean this in the nicest way but if you don't want to listen to people moan then don't.

[Shortfeet]

“Yes moaning about people moaning who haven't considered the bigger picture. It's almost like covid has targeted them and they're victims.. were all victims in some way.. it isn't personal to anyone.”

Agree with OP completely

[LyndaSnellsSniff]

I am soooooooo fed up of listening to people moan about covid and what they've 'lost' from their own perspective without seeing the bigger picture.

This, Alanis Morissette, this is irony.