to think some of us enjoyed lockdown because

[beatrixpotterspencil]

we realised there was more to life than social obligations and work?

for clarification, this isn't neccesarily how I see it, but I have been reading a discussion about it and wanted to hear what others thought. I'm on the fence, personally

less pollution, less commuting, bosses not hanging over your head, less exhaustion, less of the treadmill lifestyle, less social posturing, less consuming crap we don't need, etc.

and more time with loved ones (only for some though), more time to read, learn, explore, self improvement, choosing own hours, working to own rhythm, etc.

this is a theoretic question really, about what we really want, and what has lockdown done to change how you perceive your life?
would a life without work be better, more humane?
the dole sure isn't fun, nor should it be considered a choice, and there's no other way to survive unless very well off.

(wish to add here that I know millions have not had the luxury of enjoying the lockdown, many have not altered their working life, and many are ill, afraid of redundancy, homelessness, anxious... and worse, those who have passed away).

they should be bloody well ashamed and reflect on the collateral damage their enforced realisation, that should have happened anyway, has created or will create

I think this is very unfair, none of us created the need for lockdown. I am not unaffected, my DH has lost all work for the foreseeable (certainly a massive reduction til after Christmas), we have had some other negative impacts and I am concerned about the economy in general.

But our country wasn't right before, a lot of people were really struggling and some people have seen improvements. Others have seen things worsen for them personally.

I think it is like a war, in ww2 no one wanted war. But you still heard e.g. land girls say how much they enjoyed their work. A situation can be recognisably bad as a whole, but with some positives in it.

That is what makes events like this so defining and such big moments historically.

I've hated every single moment of it.

Sorry, not me. Ok, the less running round has been good but now it's just become boring. I'm still working normal hours, working from home alone is seriously dull and ther s no break between home and work when it's sitting in the corner of the living room all the time. I'm used to travel and seeing other people and experiencing new things and this has just made me incredibly sad and lonely.

Beebeet you're missing my point: for some of us there is nothing else except work or homeschooling because we're struggling so much with both of these things that there isn't time to do any of this anyway.

If you have the luxury that your biggest preoccupation is telling Auntie Sue that you're binning off the meeting or cancelling your DD's piano lessons you're in a very lucky position indeed. So jolly good for you that you get to duck out of tedious family obligations to hang out in the garden, some of us wouldn't have had time to do that anyway.

I would say also that the introverts going on about how they feel vindicated are missing the huge impact on children of not being able to socialise, which is one of the most important considerations in their education.

@beatrixpotterspencil
You say we realised there was more to life than social obligations and work?

You do realise that some people enjoy social experiences and don't see them as 'obligations', some people also actually anjoy their work too.

We are all different. I have found that lots of more introverted people have really enjoyed the less interactions, that's great. Some have enjoyed the no commute to work, some enjoyed furlough and spent lots of time with family etc.... brilliant.

Others hated the experienced and want to see work colleagues, family and friends and need social 'obligations'.

Great for those that enjoyed lockdown and they can take that and perhaps change their life, others struggled some massively to the point of suicide. I lost a family member to suicide during lockdown - it is awful. I didn't lose anyone or know anybody that died of the virus during the whole pandemic.... we all have different experiences.

I've enjoyed it. It felt like a welcome break from real life

@AgeLikeWine

Lockdown has shown us what life would be like if introverts got to make the rules.

Working from home wherever possible.
Strictly limited social contact.
More time at home with immediate family.
Less need for external validation based on consumerism & status symbols.
Much less pressure to conform to social ‘norms’ dictated by extroverts.

Many extroverts have apparently hated lockdown. Good. Now they have an understanding of how introverts feel the rest of the time, because society forces us to conform to their rules.

This totally. I really feel for those affected by the illness but not commuting/ paying for the privilege of commuting, time being more flexible (ie I can put on a pad of washing/ start dinner/ empty dishwasher in between working/ home schooling), not having school run cut in to morning and afternoon and not feeling obliged to travel to see people at the weekend etc have cut out a lot of stress.

I do miss the variety of people and places but it has made me value those when before they were sometimes a chore.

The thought of going back to work has made me realise that even though I love my job and I am very happy in it the act of leaving the house and travelling is quite stressful to me in itself.

Yanbu. I wouldnt say that I've enjoyed it as such because I really haven't, but I think it's been helpful to me. Working from home and not working as many late nights means I have more time and the boundaries between work and home have become clearer. I'm sleeping more and have established a bedtime routine. I get up early, and the proper sleep is having s fabulous impact. I have time to cook from scratch and my diet is much more nutritious as I'm not grabbing what I can where I can. I'm purposely not weighing myself or counting calories because I become obsessed, but instead eating when hungry , stop when satisfied, eating nutritious home cooked meals, lots of fruit and veg. I'm trying not to label foods as healthy or unhealthy or good and bad. Food is food and if I want chocolate I can have it. Because I'm not restricting myself I'm finding I'm not fancying chocolate that much actually. I'm having more time for me. I'm going for more walks and my fitness has improved. This lockdown has shown me just how unhealthily I was living before and has made me determined to put in some changes when I do return to work
Nothing massive, but leaving at 5 on the evenings I'm not working lates, to cook food and if I need to do more work I can catch up later at home. Batch cooking and grabbing stuff from the freezer to eat rather than takeaway, etc. Obviously it's not been sunshine and Rose's but I do think this period has made a lot of people focus on their health more, including mental health.

I really don't 'get' this type of post at all:

• lilgreen Wed 08-Jul-20 07:47:41 I’m quite a home body anyway and feel comfortable not keeping up with the insta/Facebook crowd so lockdown has been about a justification of that. Stop and smell the roses.of post at all.....*

How odd, I mean no-one has to keep up with the insta/facebook crowd - indeed how would lock-down prevent that since they are online posts. Perhaps leave insta/FB or step back from it - we don't need a virus to know that insta/FB aren't real and grown ups can just not worry about keeping up with them? Stop and smell the roses? It appears this person needed to do that if worried about keeping up with the 'Jones' on Insta/FB - we can all stop and smell the roses even the most busy of us have the ability to pause/be mindful/take a moment. As I say strange.

@thepeopleversuswork that's what the poster you quoted was on about though. And they were on about it during 'normal' times when presumably you wouldn't be working and homeschooling, so what are you on about?

But surely even the most introverted introvert at one point in their life interacted with other people or else how would they have found a partner ?

Do they see a future where everyone is computer-assigned a life partner or just someone with whom to mate? Perhaps no mating at all, and a woman receives sperm (online delivery) so no need for any “close contact”.

Do these introverts relish a socialising -free future for their dcs? Perhaps they welcome the idea of having 37-year-olds sitting in their bedrooms so they’re still just a “close happy little family”.

Less traffic on the streets was amazing although sadly the cars are returning now

There have been many awful parts but I've also been making a concerted effort to focus on the positives, so...

I've saved money because I haven't been able to pop into town and end up buying stuff I really didn't need. I'm not rushing back to that either.

DS is so much happier out of school, we were going to change his school anyway and this has really validated that decision.

Rediscovering local green spaces instead of just going on the usual dog walk route.

The children have missed their clubs but actually they really don't need as many of them, they are happy not to be rushing around all the time.

I taught myself to bake.

The biggest thing hit me yesterday, I struggle a lot with my mental health but actually I've engaged a lot of coping strategies. I have friends who are afraid to go out or who are struggling a lot. I really feel for them but I've been pleased that I have been able to do what I need to and stay mainly positive. Its been hard work but I've been quite resilient really...I wasn't expecting that.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

It must be stressful for you, especially working in care and with all the extra precautions. I really feel for people in those stressful jobs.

I agree I think some people are very selfish and whilst loving the being paid and not working/saving lots etc etc forget that some have worked harder than ever for no more money and really had to bear the brunt of this awful period of time.

I hope you get to relax a bit soon and thinks improve. Take care.

I have loved the slower pace of life and not being a taxi to my 3 children. My youngest have loved being at home but my son was due to take his GCSEs so has literally had nothing to do, no school work or anything since March.
But so glad everything is now looking a little more normal, I miss actually seeing my friends and family and hugging them

Initially I really struggled, doing finals for my degree with toddler and hyperemesis was gruelling.. Trying to sit exams with her running about and constant noise has seriously impacted my grades but now it's over I'm enjoying it more. Dh not commuting is a nice help when needed with dd or just to spend more time together.
We've realised what we don't nerd to spend on or what we really appreciate and enjoy doing
I'm an introvert and like to be at home but having us all in the house 24/7 is getting to me now as I can't keep on top of cleaning, mainly due to illness. Saying that, we'd not have coped well if dh was in the office those moments in the day where I really needed him to help with dd or do something, it's a big help that he can just nip out of his study and back in again.

I feel guilty feeling like lockdown has been OK for us, but we do value and appreciate the position we are in that he has remained at work as we are on the one income

I think taking a pause from modern life and asking ourselves whether it's all that great really has been very positive. I think a lot of people have realised that they can actually live perfectly happily with a much simpler life, while spending less money and damaging the planet less. That is bloody great IMO.

I also think that allowing people to WFH where possible has greatly enhanced the quality of life for many. I see how my DH has benefited from not having to drag himself out of bed and commute into his office five days a week. Taking a break from that has massively and positively affected his mental well-being. He's happier, more relaxed and no less productive. In fact, he's working the same hours as before, but he now has 2-3 hours a day in which to do other things, because he's not having to cram himself onto a rush hour train.

Our DC though have suffered from missing so much school. Their schools have provided online learning, which has been the best they could do in the circumstances, but it is no substitute for being in school. Yes, they've both got through the rest of the curriculum for this year, but they've missed out socially, developmentally, physically and mentally. I know it's been good for some DC, but it's been shit for my DC. I can't wait for them to have their lives back to normal (and mine!).

I have broadly found lockdown to be good for pace of life stuff with one exception.

My husband and I do not make good coworkers. Not that we dislike each other or fail to get along etc. Merely that we both work very long hours at the moment, and having our home be a semi-permanent office is a PITA, when he's doing work calls till 8pm in the evening.

I love the man, but neither of us would want to work together.

Hopefully when lockdown is properly done, he'll sod off to his clients during the day and leave me in peace.

I'm going to really struggle when things go back to "normal", especially DH returning to his ridiculously long working hours instead of WFH on scaled back duties. Prior to this, I was run ragged looking after a 20-month-old with additional needs on my own.

Lockdown has enabled DH to spend precious time with DD and split the domestic tasks more evenly. I've subsequently had time to pick up freelance projects after a career hiatus since DD's birth, which has been great for my confidence. I'm less stressed and subsequently drinking less, sleeping better, and spending less, meaning we finally have some money saved for moving house. We've seen as much if not more of friends and family than we normally do via Zoom and I haven't had to interact with anyone I don't want to - in many respects it's been bliss.

The downside has been the postponement of DD's medical appointments, leaving us in limbo during a crucial time for her development. She's classed as vulnerable, so lockdown really has meant full lockdown for us. If I was someone who craved face-to-face interaction, I would likely be going up the wall. Fortunately, we have a garden big enough for DD to let off steam and she is too young to know life was ever any other way.

Of course, if we had caught COVID or if our income had been slashed it would be a different story, so I fully appreciate what a privileged position I am in to say I'm one of the ones who has enjoyed lockdown.

I have found it draining. DD has learning disabilities and ASD. She has a decent EHCP which provides all kinds of support (SLT, OT, physio) and attends Riding for the Disabled. She has a brilliant teacher at school and 1-2-1 support. All of it gone.

I've struggled to teach her and feel like a failure and that this time may reduce her life chances further. She's lonely but can't/won't participate in Zoom calls (speech is very slow and others talk over her). The key worker group she could have joined was too busy, too many changes (staff and children) and her sensory needs made it impossible anyway.

She also has a restricted diet and getting the right foods in the early days used to keep me awake at night.

DH has enjoyed WFH and seeing more of the children but he's worrying about work in the longer term. DS enjoys the home schooling because he can manage most of it in a couple of hours and then Xbox.

We did just get a puppy (after being on a waiting list since last year - we always planned to do it over 6 weeks holiday). She is hilarious and a welcome addition but obviously needs a lot of attention to help her settle in.

I have friends that have lost parents in the last three months. More that have been hospitalised. I do try to remind myself just to be grateful that we are still fit and well, food in the cupboard, roof over our heads, DH has a job and DS is clearly training to be a professional gamer (🙄). But no I haven't enjoyed the last few months.

I've enjoyed it. Less stress, less traffic, life feels more peaceful.

But I like social obligations and I love work. So it's been awful.

2 kids, 6 & 3, both trying to work FT from home (usually we work compressed weeks; that's out the window). My job has been 300% more busy than normal as am a civil servant so enormous amounts of C19 response work along with losing most of my team to redeployment. Everyone at work is exhausted and more snippy than usual. Homeschooling DC1 was completely impossible as she has ASD and needs a strong routine which you can't do when you've got impossible deadlines and constant meetings.

We had the balance right before- good working pattern, we're not consumerist at all and not over-scheduled and don't 'keep up with the Jones' (and neither do our friends). We already did lots of outside time and grow veg etc.

I find the 'blend' very very hard, I'm much better if I can compartmentalise my work and life and give 100% to work and 100% to kids. I really miss sharing ideas around and I usually travel a fair bit as well and have missed that, the relationships you build and the evening beers.

Family live a long way away so we don't have loads of obligations there either- but one of the things I've really missed is the almost weekly babysitting we used to get from my mum who works in London a lot. DP and I have got on better than I expected actually, but I don't really want to see ANYONE that much tbh. And everything is cancelled now as well.

It's better now we have childcare back (we were actually entitled to school and nursery the whole way through and I've regretted we didn't use it) but now seems to be the most grindingly boring bit.

If it's made you reassess then great. Really great. But we've had it easy compared to a lot of people- we still have jobs, no money worries etc. So if we've found it hard millions have found it even harder.

These self-declared “introverts” always magically have close, loving families, a partner, and children, and have no sympathy for those terrible evil “extroverts” who are genuinely completely socially isolated and therefore are psychologically dependent on friends and other people.

It’s pretty easy to be an “introvert” if all your basic human social needs are met by your own close circle!

I know that this has been an awful time for a lot of people (I know quite a few that have been ill, lost someone, are vulnerable and afraid, are lonely, are afraid for their jobs etc) and I feel sorry for my teenager who has had lots of 'rights of passage' cancelled (exams. prom, trips with friends etc).

However, on personally it has been rather liberating. I don't like being in crowded places, don't really enjoy large social gatherings. Pre-lockdown there was an expectation that we would visit/have days out etc with various family members pretty much every weekend and all through work/hobbies etc we rarely had an evening together as a family. Lockdown has made me realise how much of this I/we did because we felt obliged to/didn't want to disappoint people etc rather than because we enjoyed it. It's been nice to have a break from everything (without worrying about seeming rude/having arguments with family) and re-assess what we actually want to do.

Much easier commute to work, supermarkets quieter and best of all an end to the hideous practice of hugging and kissing virtual strangers.