to think some of us enjoyed lockdown because

[beatrixpotterspencil]

we realised there was more to life than social obligations and work?

for clarification, this isn't neccesarily how I see it, but I have been reading a discussion about it and wanted to hear what others thought. I'm on the fence, personally

less pollution, less commuting, bosses not hanging over your head, less exhaustion, less of the treadmill lifestyle, less social posturing, less consuming crap we don't need, etc.

and more time with loved ones (only for some though), more time to read, learn, explore, self improvement, choosing own hours, working to own rhythm, etc.

this is a theoretic question really, about what we really want, and what has lockdown done to change how you perceive your life?
would a life without work be better, more humane?
the dole sure isn't fun, nor should it be considered a choice, and there's no other way to survive unless very well off.

(wish to add here that I know millions have not had the luxury of enjoying the lockdown, many have not altered their working life, and many are ill, afraid of redundancy, homelessness, anxious... and worse, those who have passed away).

I think lockdown emphasised the differences for people. For my adult daughter and I it was hard at times to stomach hearing about (some) people having all this free time or enjoying WFH. With both of us being key workers we were out of the house every day, in fact I was working longer hours than ever at a very stressful job so I'm just glad things are slowly returning to normal. But I fully appreciate the experience has been different for others.

Positives:

It has been fine for me. WFH really works for me. I lost the Sunday night dread of another week in the office.

I'm not sociable so didnt miss seeing people.

Our allotment is looking great because DH has been doing his exercise there rather than going to the gym.

For the first time we have a grip on our finances and are actually saving.

DS got a job in a supermarket and has hopes of being made permanent.

DH's hours went up which has also helped our finances.

DD2 has found that online learning really works for her. She is going into 3rd year of her degree with a bounce in her step.

Negatives:

DD2's wedding has had to be delayed

DD1 has had to be apart from her partner as they were in different households while waiting for their house purchase to go through.

So we have a lot to be grateful for (and I am grateful, I know this has been hard for a lot of people)

I'm someone who's normally rushing around - I work three days in a busy role, I have three DC who all do lots of after school activities and need driving there (we live rurally), DH works long hours so isn't around to help much, I have a chunky voluntary role, active social life, exercise etc etc.

I've always wondered if we'd be happier if things were a bit calmer. But the answer is no! Lockdown was ok for us and I'm not complaining at all. But it was boring, and we are looking forward to getting back to normal.

I’m quite a home body anyway and feel comfortable not keeping up with the insta/Facebook crowd so lockdown has been about a justification of that. Stop and smell the roses.

Oh and been working throughout (school) and just love fewer children meaning I can give them more time.

I've hated every minute of it. Bored out of my mind, 20% drop in wages, developed insomnia due to the stress of whether I'd have a job at the end of it (turns out I don't), not being able to go anywhere, even now places have re-opened I won't be able to afford to go anywhere, not being able to see DD never mind hug her.

I genuinely wonder why some people feel they are forced to go out do much (not referring to work/school) but people who feel they have to socialise, rush around doing lots of things etc ... is it FOMO?

For me it's my DC. Both very busy, sociable little souls. DD1 especially in high demand from all angles not just with school friends. I'm a lone parent so don't have anyone to share the load with. They've taken on an entire new hobby during lockdown too which takes up a significant time at least 3 days a week so once things are back to normal we'll be even busier than before. Looking for things to cut out but it's not especially easy.

I've worked throughout, and was incredibly busy from March- May, to the point I was actually sick one day in April from the stress. If I'd had the usual social obligations on top I might have had a breakdown, so small mercies I suppose. I should have submitted my last uni assignment in May, but that was cancelled so my degree will be calculated on an estimate grade. I've missed holidays, weddings, christenings, birthdays and graduating. This year has been non stop work and stress.

I have enjoyed it so much.

I have been WFH throughout, but there have been some days when I could just kick back and relax as not much on. Saved a fortune on petrol and lunches when out and about.

It's been so nice not having to wake up and feel on the treadmill, no commute, no packed trains.

I haven't lost out socially at all as I met up with all my friends online and we staged regular "events" and had fun. As restrictions have now eased we meet up for picnics or in each others gardens. Maybe I am luckier than most in that I live in a seaside town which has had great weather throughout and lots of lovely scenic walks.

The only thing I have missed is my holidays.

Hmm. Perfect life, perfect house, perfect garden, older of space. Yes there wee more birds and bees and butterflies.

But I have worked from home and never worked harder. Furloughed 155 staff, have a huge redundancy ahead. Organisation may not endure.

So no I think lock down has been awful and the impact of it will be awful for years to come.

If people have used it to reassess their lives, stop seeing people they don't want to see and to stop buying tat and too many coffees, wines, lunches, etc., they should be bloody well ashamed and reflect on the collateral damage their enforced realisation, that should have happened anyway, has created or will create.

I genuinely wonder why some people feel they are forced to go out do much (not referring to work/school) but people who feel they have to socialise, rush around doing lots of things etc ... is it FOMO?

I find this whole approach quite insensitive and judgemental, to be honest. There's a (to my mind) unpleasant strand of thought which coronavirus has brought to the surface to sneer at people who have to "rush around doing lots of things".

Well I have to "rush around doing lots of things". I have to do this because I'm a lone parent with no support of any kind and a vast workload. I "rushed around" when things were open and I "rush around" (indoors) now because I have to to survive, to keep food on the table and to keep the mortgage paid because no-one else will "rush around" on my behalf.

I work from 6am to about midnight to keep my head above water (with breaks through the day, obviously, but I'm almost never "off duty" other than while I'm asleep).

It's shit and I wish it wasn't the case. It's massively impacted my ability to support my daughter emotionally and educationally and I've had if anything even less quality time than before.

But its got sod all to do with FOMO. It's survival.

By all means enjoy your halcyon lockdowns, your quality time with children, your time spent in your gardens and crafting and whatnot. But please get off your high horses and get rid of this unpleasant and backwards narrative about "rushing around".

I think there's an unpleasant antifeminist undercurrent about it: it implies that women who have been running themselves ragged have been doing so out of some bizarre attempt to keep up with men or because their desire to be sociable has outweighed their "family values".

Most of us would have loved more downtime with our children etc but it hasn't been possible. By all means quietly enjoy the fact that you lucked out with lockdown. But please stop imposing this nasty moral judgement that those of us who didn't have this option were hard-nosed, ballbusting man-eaters. I'm really tired of it.

@thepeopleversuswork what part of except for work and school related stuff did you miss? The poster was probably on about the amount of people who have said ah it's nice not to see the in-laws, or go out with friends etc when they have never had to anyway.

people who've enjoyed lockdown probably need to examine why they were living the wrong life before

I totally agree with this ^^
I also feel that far too many people have made a rod for their own backs with their social obligations – for themselves and their children. When DD was at primary school she did some after school activities, but I simply wasn’t prepared to run her to more than two a week.

I am not particularly enjoying lockdown, but I didn’t have a frantic and stressful lifestyle in the first place. I am lucky in that I can WFH, and it is working very well. We have a great team led by an excellent HOD.
Apart from the commute I miss everything else. I work part time and DH works from home, so we were used to spending a lot of time together anyway. DD is home from university, and is sad and bored. She is supposed to be shielding so I haven’t encouraged her to work.

I miss wearing nice clothes and make up
I hate my lockdown hair
I miss being able to go to the theatre, cinema and eating out – not that I did them a lot
I miss going to the pub
I miss seeing friends and family – all live miles away, and can’t be done without an overnight stay
I miss my work mates
I feel sad for DD who should be enjoying being at university instead of watching everything online and not seeing her new friends

If this continues through the winter I wonder how many people will still enjoy being at home if they haven’t got a job?

I have young children and found it very difficult as DH has a full on job and pressure from all sides has been high. My support network was just snatched away over night.
Some positives did come from it though, I've been wanting to change industry for awhile and have had time to come up with a credible pan. I also reconnected with some hobbies that have fallen by the wayside for years!

When DD was at primary school she did some after school activities, but I simply wasn’t prepared to run her to more than two a week.

Which is easy to say when you have 1 DC!

I have enjoyed lockdown. Currently on ML with an 8mo and also have a 3yo. It was lovely having DH home for the first couple of weeks before he had to return. I find going out stressful and exhausting. Staying at home has been great - no pressure to feel like I have to take the kids here or there or pay for wildly expensive baby clubs that really don't do anything I can't do at home. The only thing is I did miss my mum although luckily can see her again now. I found more time in the day to do things I wanted to do - I've improved my cooking, lost nearly a stone in weight, exercised. I am returning to work in September but PT and am so glad I'd made that decision pre-lockdown as I think returning FT would be really worrying me. I guess, overall, lockdown has confirmed to me that I am definitely a homebody and the people I most want to spend time with are my family! I'm certainly not rushing out to the shops and restaurants. I never really enjoyed that before and have no desire to return to it now.

If I wasn’t working full time from home I would have loved it. Instead I find myself constantly snapping at my 4 year old because he’s interrupting my conference calls.

Totally not his fault, how can I ever expect a 4 year old to entertain himself for 2 hours at a time? Yet I’m forced too. I’ve repeatedly told my bosses I’m home alone with children during the day but I’m still expected to work as normal.

We’re in Wales and he was previously in school full time before lockdown, the change for him being home with his mum all day hasn’t been great for him either.

Aside from that, I’ve really enjoyed being home. For once it’s consistently tidy!

Hating it and loving it in equal percentages. Actually - 80/20 to loving it

That's amazing @KatnissK sounds like you really made the most of it. It is interesting the contrast as my kids are similar in age but I struggled so much on a psychological level and DH and I felt we never had a break. I am glad things are going back to normal for me anyway but I do think some of the benefits you mention are good ones and something to keep in mind going forward.

I agree that there is a certain sneering undercurrent at those who like, nay, need to go out and be with people. I’m fine and dandy, but I can see that if you are alone or a young person it’s not that great to be “pottering around the house” for the rest of your days.

My ds has graduated with no final exams, no ceremony, nada. His summer holiday job has been cancelled. Plans for stuff with his friends have evaporated. Friends of his have had internships/training contracts etc all put on hold. Postgraduate stuff is online only. There are absolutely no jobs to be had locally for those starting out.

And those saying they enjoy wfh, yes, it can be great after having commuted for year after year, but working in an office can also be fun if you are young: it can be sociable and of course “socialises” a person as well. Are the young doomed to live isolated lives at their computers in the future?

I have mostly hated it. The first week or so I suppose was a novelty and I appreciated not having the stress of having to get us all fed, dressed and out of the house each morning, but...

We live in a very very small house with not much more than a patio as outdoor space. Our local park was closed for a day in the early weeks to slap its visitors on the wrist for having visited it (when many people locally have little/no outdoor space and had fuck all other places to go )

And I can’t imagine anyone who has had to work from home and look after/‘school’ small children has enjoyed it, because that aspect has been HELL. I feel as though I’ve actually been neglecting my children, failing at my job, constantly chasing my tail and feeling shit and guilty about everything. It’s been like a form of torture (a very repetitive and tedious one)

And social ‘obligations’, which I generally used to enjoy, were replaced by endless bloody Zoom calls!

Oh, and I had to watch my grandfathers funeral via video link

The only upsides are we’ve saved a bit of money, for when the recession hits. I’ve caught up with lots of people on Zoom (Uni friends, extended family) when normally I would have let contact wait until it could be done in person.

Oh, and I’ve got my Tupperware cupboard in order.

But overall, it’s been a weird combination of tedium and stress

It hasn't been a revelation to me - I already knew I enjoyed not working, especially when I have no reason to feel lazy or guilty about it because it's beyond my control! I haven't been being paid though. But I'm very much the second earner and dh has been on full salary throughout, wfh but only a small proportion of his normal hours. Tbh it's been like a very long holiday for us.

I know lockdown has been awful for many people and I'm sorry and sympathetic. Maybe a thread specifically about enjoying lockdown isn't the best place to come if you're offended by that and think that people who have had a pleasant lockdown should stfu though.

@Itsallpointless

I have found that it is ok to be at home. Before this, I was out ALL the time (FOMO) felt a saddo being indoors alone (single) but I actually now resent going out. I'm sure it'll wear off, but I've certainly got a different mindset now.

I have realised I feel a bit like this. A friend of mine (in her late 60s) who previously went to a huge number of social and cultural events, is on various committees etc has realised she needed to slow down.

I've mostly loved it. I finally managed to get on the property ladder just before lockdown and I'm a homebird anyway so the time here has been cherished. I've previously had 3 months off work, being mostly at home alone, too and loved that so had no worries going into it. I could happily stay at home for a lot longer.