to think some of us enjoyed lockdown because

[beatrixpotterspencil]

we realised there was more to life than social obligations and work?

for clarification, this isn't neccesarily how I see it, but I have been reading a discussion about it and wanted to hear what others thought. I'm on the fence, personally

less pollution, less commuting, bosses not hanging over your head, less exhaustion, less of the treadmill lifestyle, less social posturing, less consuming crap we don't need, etc.

and more time with loved ones (only for some though), more time to read, learn, explore, self improvement, choosing own hours, working to own rhythm, etc.

this is a theoretic question really, about what we really want, and what has lockdown done to change how you perceive your life?
would a life without work be better, more humane?
the dole sure isn't fun, nor should it be considered a choice, and there's no other way to survive unless very well off.

(wish to add here that I know millions have not had the luxury of enjoying the lockdown, many have not altered their working life, and many are ill, afraid of redundancy, homelessness, anxious... and worse, those who have passed away).

[Doggyperson]

No getting the FOMO, not having to socialise if i didn't want to, the roads were lovely and quiet, most people were in (I work as a courier) we've been very busy! I've made more money than ever.
I've had to work very hard for every penny though.

[FiddlefigOnTheRoof]

Not having to see in laws (entire weekend and long drive) and the inevitable packing and unpacking, the passive aggression and awkwardness when we get there etc has been wonderful. Never going to happen again for me unless I divorce my husband, who I love very much, and I respect the fact he wants to visit his parents.

[Bellesavage]

Weve had a fraught and stressful lockdown with new baby with health complications and no access to care and home schooling a lonely 5 yo and me trying to work full time.

I thought it would be nice to have DH at home more as hes usually commuting all week and we don't see him until Friday evening really. But covid sent his work into a spin and he's been locked away in a room upstairs 7-7. We probably see less of him, he does less exercise, he doesn't leave the house all week and it's worse because im downstairs fighting fires with tantrums etc and feeling resentful that he doesn't come down and help.

I think the only silver lining for us would be not having to fill the car up since march, so maybe weve saved £100 in fuel, but spent it on crap from Amazon so we are in no better situation

[Leflic]

@Theyweretheworstoftimes

Hated it.

Started working at 7 am this morning and just finished. Have an under two as well.

Spent 16 weeks living at work with no break. My sanity is gone, my marriage is pushed to breaking point, no support system and a toddler that deserves better.

I will take my commute and all the other crap back cause frankly I don't want to live another day like this.

What do you do?
Farmers and farm workers tend to do those hours but that wouldn’t be any different in lockdown to normal.

Intrigued.

[Ragwort]

I genuinely wonder why some people feel they are forced to go out do much (not referring to work/school) but people who feel they have to socialise, rush around doing lots of things etc ... is it FOMO?

I haven't enjoyed lockdown, the first couple of weeks were OK, a bit of a novelty, but I was at the stage where I had a very comfortable lifestyle, a part time job I enjoyed, volunteering which I love and just pottering about occasionally meeting up with friends & seeing my elderly parents once a week. Being on furlough made me feel quite aimless and quite honestly I hated being cooped up with my DH (he was WFH) for so long ... we usually lead very separate lives and constantly cooking meals and negotiating what to watch on tv, playing endless cards and board games with our teenage DS got very tedious.

So I hate to moan as I had no children to home educate, no financial worries and I did still have the opportunity to volunteer but I really didn't enjoy lockdown and am delighted to be back at work now.

[Ragwort]

Fiddling why doesn't your DH visit his parents without you? Surely you don't have to go with him every single time, there must be an option for compromise? I know that my own parents prefer to see their adult DC without spouses trailing along, of course everyone is always made very welcome but I frequently see my DPs on my own, as did my DH (when his were alive).

[countrygirl99]

Oh yes, I've absolutely loved worrying whether DHs business would survive and not being able to visit elderly, frail parents when they have needed non covid hospital admissions. Oh, and worrying about my own job while staring at the same 4 walls while I wfh has been the icing on the cake.
Nope, sorry wrong, that was my son's wedding being cancelled and only being able to see him a couple of times before he emigrates. I'm so glad I can't plan a trip to see him in his new home, hopefully they won't open the borders this year.

[FiddlefigOnTheRoof]

@Ragwort

Fiddling why doesn't your DH visit his parents without you? Surely you don't have to go with him every single time, there must be an option for compromise? I know that my own parents prefer to see their adult DC without spouses trailing along, of course everyone is always made very welcome but I frequently see my DPs on my own, as did my DH (when his were alive).

He does occasionally. But we have young children, and it’s a long journey to do solo.

[LellyMcKelly]

I’ve been working at home very full time. I hate it. I’d like to do a few days a week at home but I was always able to do that anyway. I miss being able to solve problems by having a quick chat with someone across a desk, and I like the routine of going into work. My kids miss school and their sports clubs and I miss the friends I made at those clubs. My gripes are nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like Groundhog Day.

[Sailingblue]

I’ve found it awful. Initially there were concerns whether my husband’s job was safe and working while looking after two small people has been so stressful. I’m mentally drained and just fed up now. My eldest missed nursery and is (I think) an extreme extrovert. It was horrible to see her so miserable. We are normally very busy and that suits us as a family. My life has certainly not been improved by being at home all the time.

On the plus side, I like home working and home I’ll always be able to have at least a day or two from home. It has been lovely to not have the stress of getting back for nursery collection and worrying about being late. No horrid commute and seeing the girls more.

[Pogmella]

There have been some very difficult parts.

One thing I haven’t missed (and am preparing myself to face again) is abusive ExH socialising at a community centre with people that were in my social circle and spreading lies about both me and him. I’ve tried distancing myself from people involved so I don’t hear about it so he started bringing the kids so they tell me. Lovely to know that can’t possibly be happening any more!

[TheLovleyChebbyMcGee]

Some people have had a great lockdown, being paid to stay at home and 2atch Netflix, but I've been going out at work as normal the entire time. We have saved money on nursery fees and petrol though, so it's not all bad!!

I have struggled with all my child free pals complaining how bored they are, but how they spend all their days sleeping in late, doing yoga online, perfecting their sourdough bread, finishing projects around the house and generally having a laugh.

But some of them are facing redundancies now and my job is relatively safe, so it's all swings and roundabouts I guess. However, DH and I are going to take a day or 2 off work once DS is back in nursery and have a lockdown day to do all those things!

[speakout]

Much of my life has remained unchanged during lockdown, I already live a life that fit with my needs and values.

I am an happy introvert, I don't accept social engegements unless I want to.
I rarely shop- can't stand all the consumerism, shops full of crap I don't need.
I work from home anyway, I run a small creative business from home, I get paid to play.
I had already prioritised self improvement for many years, walks in the forest, exercise, yoga.

My lockdown life started 10 years ago!!

[Cartesiandebt]

@Mawbags ditto!

@cafenoirbiscuit dh and I both travel abroad a lot usually, it's been such a relief to have a break from all that. I'm really hoping we can cut down on the need to travel so much in the future.

[Whenwillthisbeover]

No I didn’t enjoy it. I’ve worked from home for 15 years anyway and valued my space and peace. Outside work I went all over all the time, mainly because I wfh during the day.

Lockdown meant still being home but all the time, my daily hour walk on my own was invaded by DH, our house was always occupies, never quiet, frequently messy. There was always someone there and I couldn’t escape it.

Thank fuck everyone is back at work now and I can legally see our son when I want who doesn’t live at home.

Thank fuck I can get out of the house again.

[beautifulmonument]

Yes absolutely. Not wasting time worrying about how I look or how I come across or what other people think of me or comparing myself to others has been a revolution! I've been much more focused on my health, my work and my loved ones. I feel like once I get back to the office it'll be back to normal though unfortunately.

[SpeedofaSloth]

I like being at home more, I want to keep that bit instead of ambling round shops and sitting in cafes at the weekend.

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

Hated lockdown because I worried the whole time I would be made redundant and today I will.
Ds mental health suffered without school too , but thankfully hes back .
However I do appreciate how it could have been good for some people , on a personal level we were living our best life before and that has been taken away.
It's just me and ds and we love being busy and doing lots if activities , we are not baking or craft type of people.
Oh and our holiday is in jeopardy too which was an activity holiday , it ain't been great for us !

[katienana]

The impact on me hasn't been that bad if you take my kids out of the equation. I'm a SAHM so didn't have the pressure of working and home schooling, or being furloughed and worrying about my job. Day to day I missed the chat at the school gates, mooching round the shops, going out for lunch or a coffee.
I've had my husband around more, massive adjustment at the start but used to it now. We got a dog which we'd been discussing for ages but decided to go for it while dh was around to share the burden.
But for the kids its been shit. No school, no swimming, no football training, no playgrounds, for weeks and weeks we walked or scooted to the local park and home again. The first time I took them in a shop it was like Disney land for them!

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

@Leflic presumably that pp was saying that they live at work because of WFH.
I'm in a similar boat, get up at 5am with the toddler, do stuff with DCs between work during the day, work again after they're in bed, finish between 10pm on a good day and 12-1am on a bad one. Every fucking day.

[mylittlesandwich]

I didn't like lockdown at all. It really hindered my recovery from PND.
DH however has been loving it, he got months and months extra with DS. He's 7 months now (DS that is not DH) so he's been here to see him learn a lot of new skills. The main worry was would he have a job once this was over and he's going back next week so that's sorted now too.
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking the positives from this. Overall it's been a bit of a shitshow but if you can glean something good from it all then there's no harm in it.

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

i have still been working , albeit relocated,
but have enjoyed the quiet roads.
i dont like shopping normally anyway.

[Squirrelblanket]

I've really enjoyed it. I won't repeat what others have said but the two main things which have been genuinely life changing for me have been WFH full time and not having every weekend filled with social obligations.

Re: comments on here about social obligations such as 'it's not illegal to say no' and 'why do people feel forced to do so much' and 'is it FOMO'. Yes of course you can turn down invitations and no we don't have FOMO. But for us; we don't live near either of our families, our families are spread out across the UK, my parents are divorced so it's like having three sets of parents to consider, we also have friends living in various locations. All these people want to see us. It's been extremely difficult for us in the past to try find a balance between seeing everyone enough and also having enough weekends free to have some downtime. Especially when all visits mean a full weekend due to travel and we both work full time. It's been hard in the past to say to people 'we do want to see you, but not as much!' But I'm planning to have this conversation with a few people as we come out of lockdown as I am really determined to set and keep to realistic expectations.

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

it has been good for some people, to take a break, reevaluate etc.,

[Beebeet]

I genuinely wonder why some people feel they are forced to go out do much (not referring to work/school) but people who feel they have to socialise, rush around doing lots of things etc ... is it FOMO?

Yeah I agree, I doubt it's fomo though, just more of a reluctance to just say no (although probably friends and family often say no or cancel on them). I would definitely be re-evaluating my life choices if I enjoyed lockdown more than 'normal' life, cripes. That's pretty sad.