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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to buy DS a present for his 1st birthday?

23 replies

purpleflower · 27/09/2007 17:22

Well the title says it all really. I've decided to make him a nice card to keep in his memory box instead. When I've mentioned it to people they give me a look like this and say oh ok then.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

chloesmumtoo · 27/09/2007 17:30

Well, I always like to do something! It would upset me if I didnt, depends on your circumstances. I know in the past when times were hard I just done little things that i knew he would like - cheaply. I think bath toys I remember lol. Then he ended up with lots off other people anyway. However now things have changed they end up having to much! I dont think I could not do anything but of course its up to you.

Tootiepegs · 27/09/2007 17:33

Although it sounds mean to others I think you're right. You never know what others are going to buy and I really didn't have the time to stand in queues taking things back so that's exactly what we did for DD's 1st birthday. We did,however, buy her something after her birthday when we knew exactly what she had got already.

kitsandbits · 27/09/2007 17:34

You dont have to spend loads - but why not get 1 gift? A special bear or something and put that in his keepsake box?

That way if he ever asks what he gotr on his 1st birthday you can say that - rather then nothing!

Clayhead · 27/09/2007 17:34

I didn't buy ds anything for his first birthday either! Bought him bits throughout the year.

nell12 · 27/09/2007 17:35

Will ds know that his pressie comes after his birthday?? NO!!!!

Will ds know that he has lots of other new toys from everyone else?? YES!!!

Will ds care?? OF COURSE NOT !!!

YANBU

miobombino · 27/09/2007 17:35

Completely your choice I'd say ! Let them think what they like.

EmsMum · 27/09/2007 17:38

I can't even remember if I bought DD anything for her first birthday or not.
YANBU

The memory box is a lovely idea.

Roobie · 27/09/2007 17:38

Gosh no. Don't see the point in buying specific birthday presents for really young kids - not just another bog standard toy anyway. Presumably he gets whatever toys he needs throughout the year anyway.

bubblagirl · 27/09/2007 17:40

you can go to sertain shops not sure where you live but in lakeside they do ateddy shop where you can record something inside a teddy you could record happy 1 st birthday and keep it as a keep sake but also your ds could play it and hear your voice

Original poster

purpleflower · 27/09/2007 22:26

Thank you all for taking the time to answer me.

So I've just spent the evening making him a nice card and I'll keep an eye out for something small (money is a big issue)

Once again thank you

OP posts:

iwouldgoouttonight · 27/09/2007 22:40

I think the nice card for his memory box is a lovely idea - it will probably last much longer than a toy or whatever. My DS had his first birthday recently and we didn't buy him anything - he was quite overwhelmed by all the presents from everyone else and he's far too young to know (or care) if any of them were from us or not.

ChasingSquirrels · 27/09/2007 22:42

neither of my ds's got anything from us for their first birthday, or christmas, or 2nd christmas for ds1 who was 15mo at the time.

TwoThumbsDon · 28/09/2007 06:30

We saved up some money to buy ds a 1st birthday present then on the spur of the moment donated it to Comic Relief so he had "nothing"... oh apart from his health and a loving family and a roof over his head and a full belly... some people close to us were shocked we would do such a thing

tribpot · 28/09/2007 06:32

If money is a big issue, I definitely wouldn't. Ditto Christmas.

glitterchick · 28/09/2007 09:59

He's your child - don't buy him anything if you don't want. He will be 1 - he won't realise. The card is a good idea - something he will have for the future.

3madboys · 28/09/2007 10:02

we didnt buy ds2 or ds3 a present for their first bdays, i think i got some old toys that were ds1's and gave them those maybe?they got stuff from relatives etc, but they are happy with a cardboard box at that age

StealthPolarBear · 28/09/2007 10:24

I'm an only child so my parents spoilt me rotton, I have a baby book with the cards they got me for my birthdays when I was young and I love looking at them, would never occur to me to ask what they got me as a present!

themoon66 · 28/09/2007 10:28

I didn't bother with my DCs first birthdays. I think I might have stuck a candle in a cup cake or something, just to make a photo for the album.

bubblepop · 28/09/2007 12:22

hiya, i wouldn't worry attall what anyone else thinks. the card idea is lovely. im sure your child will not know any different!
my little one would be made up if i bought a cheap pack of balloons and blew them all up, hours of fun!

alicet · 28/09/2007 12:29

YANBU. I wouldn't have had the discipline to do this as I got way more excited than he was but it does make perfect sense. We didn't spend much as we decided that we would prefer to buy him toys throughout the year as he grew out of things and we knew what he really liked (his birthday is in Feb too so after Christmas and that he had loads of new stuff!)

Ignore what other people say - none of their business! Just a symptom of our society that love is measured in material things which in my opinion is pure b*llocks!

mistypeaks · 28/09/2007 12:37

We didn't get dd1 or dd2 anything for their first xmas as we knew they'd be getting loads of family and friends and were reasonably broke. We weren't going to do 1st bday presents either and like yourself just do a nice card with a message for the memory box (which are already heaving at the ages of 2.3 and 14mnths!!) We wrote in the cards what milestones they'd reached by 1st birthday fave teddies, games, foods etc so and that's a tradition now. BUT we (I) relented on the pressie in the end. Its not something they were given but something they will be given on their 16th or 18th. I bought each a cheap(ish) silver charm bracelet and a charm that had a significance on this birthday (dd1's first was a rabbit as that's what she slept with and her 2nd was a thistle as we were in Scotland on holiday. dd2's first was a heart with sis-sis engraved on it) Neither of them were or are any the wiser and had lovely birthday's with daddy off work for a change, grandparents visiting and cake and cuddles and photos. YANBU

Countingthegreyhairs · 28/09/2007 12:59

YANBU - agree with others - it all gets out of hand. You sound like a great mum - don't let other people's opinions change your mind - most of the presents we buy our children make US feel better not them!

(dd started expecting dh to bring her back a small present every time he went on a business trip - almost every week - so we stopped it totally. Last time, to assuage her disappointment - dh brought her a banana from the plane (!) - it was the only thing he happened to have on him because he'd been dashing from one airport to another - and guess what, she was still thrilled .. and she's 4!!!)

Keep 'em young and unsophisticated for as long as possible I say, and then they really come to truly appreciate presents ...

I know I sound like an old miser, but honestly, the commercialisation of childhood has gone too far ...

lovey · 02/10/2007 18:17

I put a certain amount of money in my dc's fund for when dc is older... well appreciate it later in life!

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