To ask for your weird family behaviours that you didn't realise weren't normal until you were older?

[Coffeebiscuitsrepeat]

1. We called a toe poking through a sock hole a "potato".

1. Whoever made the most mess at the dinner table "won the prize"... And the prize was to clean up the mess!

No talking at the table and no drinks with meals.

Heinz tomato soup with a big dollop of mashed potato in the middle of the bowl as comfort food.

Salt and pepper with strawberries.
Butter with radishes (I'm sure that's NOT weird but quite a lot of people I know think it is).
Cheese with banana.

We do all dance around the teapot 3 times (widdershins) when making tea.

Grandparents used to visit every Saturday and would bring a bag of goodies each for my brother and I. It included 1 small chocolate bar (KitKat or Milky Way), 1 larger bar (Mars or Twix) a small bag of penny sweets like blackjacks, a bag of Murray Mints an apple and a peeled carrot. And my nan would save the 'shiny' copper coins for us in addition to 50p pocket money.

My mum could do the 2 finger wolf whistle REALLY loudly and would lean out of the car occasionally and do it to a cyclist while my dad was driving. We used to think it was hilarious my dad less so

Getting dressed downstairs because I grew up in a big old chilly house (no central heating until I was about 12). Mum would have the coal fire on with our clothes warming.

We never locked the bathroom door because Mum was paranoid someone would fall and hit their head and nobody would be able to rescue them. So in our family, closed door = occupied.

Though I realised gradually that this convention was not universal, the habit of leaving the door unlocked stuck with me. I was embarrassed on several occasions as a young adult when someone burst in upon me!

I still maintain that it's slightly rude to try the bathroom door without knocking first. However, to be safe I do now lock the door whenever there is anyone around other than my DP and kids.

Also the forced monotony of my childhood was something I didn't realise was strange until years later.

Our family had the same routine every weekend of the year excluding Christmas which involved shopping on Saturday and visiting a relative all day on Sunday with almost no time for actual play. I remember being bored to tears.

Fish on Fridays. Every Friday.. all year. And always at a restaurant. We weren't Catholic either haha. My pap just loved routine... So we went with it haha. (We didn't all have to eat fish... But that's what he always ordered)

My family also used other names for everyday things that I didnt realise were not the real words for these things until much later, for example they called poo, pongo, so when I saw 101 Dalmations I was shocked at the name of one of the dalmations.

We always had roast beef on a Sunday at 1, the left over meat placed in a Pyrex covered with gravy and reheated on a Monday with butter beans and mash, neither my sister or I have ever had them since!
Sunday tea time was a bath and then a pot of tea with either home made scones (mum never followed a recipe, sometimes they were amazing other times not), malt loaf or scotch pancakes and a cake.
Always chips on a Friday and a chippy dinner on Saturdays.
My dad worked nights mostly so Friday night was housework night, whole house from top to bottom, usually accompanied by a very grumpy mother and at least one hiding for nothing, this was also carried out on Christmas Eve whilst my dad sat with a big bucket and peeled all the veg for the Christmas dinner that we had 3 days in a row!

Also my mum was weird about drinking anything, no drinks with meals etc but we had to ask for drinks and was often told no. I sometimes felt that she felt being thirsty was a weakness.

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners

The no drink with dinner thing stops you overeating - if you have bariatric surgery you are not able to drink within 30 mins either side of food, as it washes it down and stops you feeling full. Apparently. I can't eat a meal without a drink of some sort available though.

I still put sugar (well, Truvia) on strawberries.

This surprises me as I struggle with overeating (compulsive eating really) and was advised to drink water with or just straight before a meal to prevent overeating. Sometimes it does work for me but the water ususally ahs to be carbonated to really take effect

No central heating, had crappy storage heaters instead, a completely pointless money saving exercise which lost them thousands when they wanted to sell up and move.

We weren't allowed drinks with meals as it would fill you up then you wouldn't eat your dinner

lordjesus you can't have any carbonated drinks at all after bariatric surgery. I found it counter intuitive too, because usually you are advised to try a drink if you think you are hungry. Its odd.

Vinegar on boiled eggs.
Always, i didnt realise it was weird and still eat it now.
Sometimes we would have a yorkshire pudding with jam or apple sauce as a pudding after sunday dinner.
No strict menu or eating and drinking rules thank god, other than no food upstairs; my son drinks what he wants but will always ask before he eats anything, maybe he will think that's odd when he grows up.
My friend used to answer the phone with the phone number, family name and who's speaking please. I thought that was odd, we always answered ours with the standard hello.

Getting dressed downstairs was normal, no central heating until after I'd left home.
My grandma used to give us apple slices coated in sugar, she was old though.
I put sugar on strawberries if they need it.
My mum would have grapefuit with sugar over night on the fridge but only when she was on a diet.
We never had fizzy drinks at home but that was more a cost thing more than anything else, we were allowed them on holidays and at grandparents.

We couldn’t make a noise as it would disturb the neighbours. When I moved in with a bloke & he suggested taking a bath late at night I said that we couldn’t, when he asked why I realized that it would sound quite ridiculous if I told him that the noise from the tank would disturb the neighbours.

I thought it normal to eat extremely quickly. Even today my siblings and I all finish our meals while everyone else has barely started. It's not disgusting gluttony either; it's just big chunks and very swift eating.

Going to friends’ houses always confused me because there was so much chat, warmth and affection among their family members. To this day neither of my parents have told me they love me. Mum has never really hugged me. Can’t stand sitting next to me and tells me to sit elsewhere if there’s an alternative.

My parents literally never spoke to eachother. It was real Cold War stuff. They separated and dad moved out when I was about 11, but I have no recollection of a single word uttered between them. They would pass messages through us through gritted teeth.

“Tell your father dinner is at 6 tonight.”

8yo anxietyaunt turns to face dad. “Mum says dinner is at 6 tonight.”

“Okay. Tell your mother I’ll be ready.”

Little anxietyaunt swivels again. “Dad says he’ll be there.”

“Fine”.

Idiots.

Oh, and if we were ever sick or injured mum would wave us away and tell us to “open a window” or “have a glass of water”. So we grew up to ignore pain and injury. Because expressing any kind of pain was weak. As a result I almost died. I realise now she was simply incapable of compassion. It took becoming a mother myself to realise how fucked up and abnormal a thing that is to do to a child.

Any one else have buttered toast with loads of pepper on it for breakfast? It was standard in my home growing up. Nowadays when I make it for myself DH and DD watch in a sort of fascinated horror.

Sausages with marmalade for breakfast was normal too

For those who put sugar on strawberries...here is a sugar shaker for that very purpose

We had bread and butter cut into triangles with tinned fruit salad and evaporated milk .

A Birdseye frozen sponge would be split open and tinned peaches put inside and reassembled .

This thread has reminded me that when I was little and felt a bit unwell; tummy ache or whatever, my mum would ask if I was "sickening for something?" The weird bit was I never knew what she meant. And still don't really.

My mum was a stickler for a proper, formally laid table, with multiple forks, knives, glasses etc - think Downton Abbey style- even if we were just having a simple 2 course meal. When I got married she insisted on checking out the cutlery we’d put on our wedding gift list to make sure it was suitable! 😀. Needless to say, I can lay and decorate a fabulous table for Christmas or a party. Sadly my cooking does not match my tables!

Curtains were changed twice a year, for summer and winter. Furniture was moved around at the same time.

Walks were encouraged, but on a Sunday we could only go in one direction.

We were dressed from first thing in the morning till last thing at night, unless you were unwell. The only time I ever left the house in PJs was when they took me to hospital late one night. Even now, I wouldn’t even put the bins out without being properly dressed.

From about 8, on a Saturday night I could stay up until after the shipping forecast.

It all sounds very formal, but I had a wonderful childhood and have a very close relationship with my parents. They have relaxed some of their ways, and have even been known to have the odd TV dinner in recent years!

@anxietyaunt

Oh, and if we were ever sick or injured mum would wave us away and tell us to “open a window” or “have a glass of water”. So we grew up to ignore pain and injury. Because expressing any kind of pain was weak. As a result I almost died. I realise now she was simply incapable of compassion. It took becoming a mother myself to realise how fucked up and abnormal a thing that is to do to a child.

am so sorry that happened to you. Your mum sounds horrible. my father was a bit like that. Hated weakness and punsihed us for it.

I struggled at school and he refused t get me tested and insisted it was bad behaviour. He started punishing me for it In my teens I developed several mental health issues and a physical one. He kept telling me I was faking it and an attention seeker. He said the same when it came out that I had been sexually assualted by someone. "You're Just trying to cause trouble". He told me I was toxic. My sister had depression in her teens and he told her to "never mention it again or I willl slash you with a knife. you are making me look bad."

I struggled with self harm and suicide attempts growing up, On eday he was so fed up with me he told me "just get on and kill yourself then."

I think he was someone who could not handle illness. a few years ago I went to visit my parents. we went out for a walk. My mum spraine dher ankle badly falling over a stone. Her doctor says she has a soft tissue disorder and also very lax joints. My father told her it was her fault because she was a fat embarassment to him and went on ahead walking. He was still in a mood over it later and slapped her face.