AIBU... to cry about my skin?

[minipilling]

I have had acne my whole teen/adult life. Throughout my twenties I had it pretty badly on my face, chest and back. I couldn't wear anything that wasn't high necked.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis a few years ago and put on a low dose combined pill for treatment. It was great for me symptoms wise, but an amazing side effect was also the fact it cleared my acne after a month or so. I had spent years using topical treatments to no avail, and suddenly it was fixed. Not perfect, but the best it had ever been. My confidence skyrocketed, it changed my life.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I was getting migraines with aura, and I was taken off my pill. I had a break for a while and my spots started to return almost immediately. Plus my endometriosis symptoms were worse again. The doctor put me on the mini pill. This has been OK for the endometriosis (up and down) but my acne has increased hugely and is worse than it ever was. I hoped it would settle but it's been over three months. It's all over my face, neck, chest and back, causing scars, deep and cystic. The skin is rough and uneven. I feel like I'm in a nightmare whenever I look into the mirror. Pictures I took during my clear skin phase make me want to be sick, if would give anything to go back on my old pill but I know I can't. I don't know what to do.

I have been trying everything, salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, tea tree, charcoal. I am terrified I will look like this forever. I know it sounds vain but I have depression and anxiety and the acne makes everything feel so much worse. I have to keep taking the mini pill because my endometriosis is awful if I don't take anything. I am in my mid thirties and I feel so ugly and worthless. When the acne first came back I told my consultant because I wanted to be sure I could not go back on the old pill. He said my health was worth 'a few spots.' It made me so angry, I would kill to only have 'a few spots.'

I don't know if anyone has been in a similar situation or can give advice on what to do... I just feel so wretched now, I have a painful condition and I look a mess.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.

Why wouldn't you take Roaccutane Sunshineee?

I agree it's not an easy drug to take, but it's incredibly effective and most people have no problems with it.

My throat and jaw was particularly bad until my late twenties and it could be painful to move my face. What worked for me was

Adopting a Mediterranean diet as much as possible for main meals (fish, lots of veg, some chicken),
avoiding dairy where possible which was hard as I'm a dairy lover so for example I use lacto free milk and eat healthy nut bars with a sliver of chocolate instead of chocolate bars. If I eat a dairy loaded meal I know I'll get a breakout. I actually now really enjoy the nutty bars as snacks.
avoid crappy foods and fast food
I use body shop charcoal face masks before showering.
Wearing a powder makeup (bare minerals) helped keep soak up the oils. Going without makeup actually caused me to have worse skin
Clean makeup brushes regularly.
Never ever touch your face.
Don't have a fringe.
used a sateen cotton pillowcase (not sure if this is proven to help acne but it is supposed to be kinder to skin)
Use miscellar face cleanser twice daily and a gentle, unscented moisturiser for oily skin

I didn't take medications but appreciate that it is the best option for some people.

@minipilling I have a similar problem to you. I recently uploaded pictures to the Dermatica website and was prescribed Niacinamide and Tretinoin. Have only been using it for a few days so unsure of results. Your first month is free (£2.99 postage) then £19.99 every month thereafter. It might not be what you're looking for but worth investigating.

RoAccutane is harsh but man, it really is a miracle drug. It not only takes away acne, but it tightens your pores and makes you look years younger. If you can tolerate it, a six month course could clear possibly clear up acne forever.

I have had acne since my teens and am now late forties. Only time it was under control was when I used oral contraceptive pill. Since coming off the pill in mid thirties when trying to conceive, my skin has been awful. Tried everything topical plus oral antibiotics and expensive laser treatment. My skin has caused me misery and affected my life badly. Earlier this year I paid to see a private dermatologist and was prescribed spironolactone. It has been great for me. Dermatologist said he was seeing me a decade later than most other persistent acne patients. No GP's in my surgery had heard of spironolactone as an acne treatment. I wish had gone 10 years ago. Get yourself to a dermatologist.

I'm so's sorry op, it's so shit. I'd definitely push for a referral. I had cycstic acne everywhere after having my second baby and it was so embarrassing, for 18 months my skin was absolutely awful and to make it worse people kept mistaking me for a young teenager. That with the braces I needed at the same time I've never felt so low.

The only things that I changed were taking a high dose of antihistamine daily as I have many allergies (not sure if related) and double cleansing with an oil based cleanser first then gentle one after. Followed by some products from the ordinary niacinimide every evening with hyaluronic acid. Plus changing to their moisturiser with hyaluronic acid in it.

You do not need to suffer with this. Can you afford a private dermatologist to get in sooner?

Oh and dermaplaning. I use the eyebrow razors and it has massively helped although couldn't do it during a bad breakout as it would make it worse.

OP I am in the same boat. Finally told I can be referred to a dermatologist after trying everything the GP gave me to no avail... he has only referred me because of the depression it's caused. Except, due to COVID I can't actually be referred yet. So here's hoping.

Sending hugs OP. I too have endo and at currently on no treatment. A few months ago I developed very painful cystic acne on my face and it will not go. I’ve just been prescribed a 3 month course of lymecycline and I’m hoping that works. It’s so embarrasing and painful and I’ve tried so many products and nothing has helped

@minipilling has the endometriosis been treated? Laparoscopy with excision is the gold standard. Hormonal treatments will suppress it but you really want to remove it. It does grow back but you can have it treated again.

I'm nearly 40 & still have fairly poor skin. Not so much on my face now, but my chest, shoulders & back are not good. I've had 2 courses of roaccutane, they improved it significantly - it is much better than it used to be. I tried the pill in my 20s but it immediately caused severe migraines with aura (which have, annoyingly, continued). I'm now trying eliminating dairy as a last effort to sort it. Apparently dairy & a high sugar intake are linked to acne, something to do with insulin response & growth hormones. I completely sympathise about not wearing certain cuts of clothes - people who say it's 'just a few spots" have no idea. It was definitely a factor in my depression, lack of confidence, etc. It was the deciding factor in my style of wedding dress, I stopped swimming as a teenager because of it. I agree with Goldfluff's tips, I would add:

• use a separate small towel to dry your face etc. Don't share with family, don't use it anywhere except the affected areas. Change it every couple of days, or daily if possible.
• likewise, whatever face cloth /sponge you use. I switched to microfibre cloths a few years ago.
• Likewise, your pillowcase. Especially if your hair is oily. We have lots of pillowcases, face cloths & hand towels.
• pat, don't rub, your skin dry.
• if you use conditioner on your hair, wash & condition your hair first in the shower, then clip it up & wash the rest of your body. Conditioner is notorious for blocking pores & causing spots. It's for your hair, it's not designed to be used on your skin.
• check your laundry detergent & fabric softener aren't aggravating it. My skin improved a bit when we stopped using softener.

If it hasn't been said already please please change all your products, including cleanser, shampoo, shower gel and conditioner to sulphate and silicone free. It's not a cure but helped me hugely as they can exacerbate acne and eczema type conditions.

Another tip is if you see an NHS dermatologist or even to GP, a key question is to ask if they've offered you only what the NHS allows but a private consultation could prescribe. Sometimes they've exhausted all options, sometimes they've exhausted all available resources. Very different things.

Due to new rules on spending the NHS could no longer prescribe my brand of Isotretinoin but it was possible privately. Very best to you, it's hard to navigate and a miserable condition .

@Canshopwillshop. Ok so you've got two acids there and niacinamide.

Don't use the peeling solution until you get used to using acids, a couple of months at least. The azealic acid is a good introduction, used a couple of times a week ideally evening.

I tend to use niacinamide, with buffet and moisturiser with hyaluronic acid in the morning and SPF. And in the evening mix it up, one night the acid another the retinoid, another vit c.

I try and layer, using a bit of chia seed oil and then natural moisturising factors at the end to seal in the moisture and I would highly recommend cerave cleanser and moisturizer too.

The granactive retinoid is quite simply amazing. All the benefits of retinol but none of the irritation and my skin is simply unrecognisable from what it used to be.

Also please take time to read the regime guides so that you don't use products that don't go together i.e
Acids and peptides.

I could have practically written your post. No pills worked very well for me. I spoke to my GP who referred me to a specialist. I was put on Roaccutane which was like a wonder drug. After a few years I started to get spots again and went on the combined pill Dianette before my skin got bad again and this kept it in check but I was told eventually that they don’t prescribe this any more. My skin is shit, it makes you so self conscious doesn’t it and I constantly spend summer worrying about finding nice clothes that aren't low cut or strappy as many womens tops are without melting. After surgery for my endo I was put on the minipill too and it really doesn’t help the cause. I’ve been back to my GP and they offered changing me to Yasmin a combined pill as thats supposed to help with spots but it means my endo will likely flair back up so I said no and asked for a new referral. The drug they have put me on worked whilst on it but stopped as soon as I came off, I’m now waiting for a review to go back on a course of Roaccutane. Its a shit balancing act. Speak with your GP and ask for a dermatologist referral.

I'm so sorry, OP. I know how shit it is: had acne on my chest, arms, and back for about a decade now. Makes dressing for summer a nightmare! I agree with others that this is something you'll need to see a GP about: actual acne, rather than just a few spots, won't respond to the creams you can buy in boots.
I know you won't believe me, but you absolutely are not ugly or worthless, and it's not vain to be sad about aspects of your appearance that you dislike - it really isn't. Please be kind to yourself. If you can, find something physical about yourself that you think is beautiful

The granactive retinoid is quite simply amazing. All the benefits of retinol but none of the irritation and my skin is simply unrecognisable from what it used to be.

Interesting you say that because it has done nothing for me at all. Literally nothing. Might as well be applying water!

Have you tried the pill Dianette? It was a miracle worker for me and my skin

Sunscreen prevents skin cancer and premature aging. Direct UV helps with acne.

@Treacletoots - thanks for your advice 👍

Hi everyone, thank you for so many suggestions and bits of advice, I will be noting these down. I am glad for the positive reviews of Roaccutane too. I will definitely consider it. @DevastatedandDistraught I am very sorry for your tragic loss and I will keep this side effect in mind if I choose to try the drug. I hope you have plenty of support through this time and you have my best wishes.

Responses to some points:

-I have had two excision surgeries in the past three years for endometriosis by a specialist, unfortunately this has never helped much with my ongoing symptoms which occur throughout the month. So I am on the mini pill for this reason as it stops my periods and makes me feel much more comfortable.

-I don't eat dairy as I quit it some years ago, thought it would help the acne but didn't! I have tried gluten free before which wasn't great for me and again, no effect on the acne. I eat very little meat and sugar and drink only tea and water. No alcohol, don't smoke etc.

-I have not tried antibiotics yet, I am a bit reluctant as I am worried about resistance and I am already allergic to a certain type. I can take penicillin and derivatives, but just concerned in case I develop resistance.

-I change pillow cases every day and use up to four clean face flannels a day to remove cleanser and dry (I have a stash of about fifty!)

-My head is shaved so I don't have a fringe or any hair in my face and I very rarely need to use conditioner!

-I cannot take Dianette or any other combined pill due to stroke risk.

I am going to look at the drug options as soon as I can.

Roaccutane. Life changing.

I wonder if any of the mini pills contain lower doses of progesterone?. I blame my cystic acne on the implant.

I’m not sure of the link between antibiotics for acne & resistance though?.

@Canshopwillshop very welcome

@SinkGirl so frustrating isn't it. I am however 42 and therefore there's room for improvement! I would say to people younger than 35 you'd be wasting your time on retinols and look to acids, vit c and peptides first.

Regarding dianette, who have you spoken to about the stroke risk? General GP or specialist, because they will have very different views

I tried many antibiotics and they all worked but the acne came back as soon as I stopped taking them. Same with Dianette.

I tried many OTC meds, spent 1000's on 'miracle' skin care, changed my diet, vitamin B, herbal and even Chinese medicine.
Not one thing worked.

I live in a hot country, the sun made it worse.

In desperation I asked my Dr for roaccutane and after 3 months it was gone.

Some acne can't be treated on the surface.