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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU... to cry about my skin?

153 replies

minipilling · 05/07/2020 07:04

I have had acne my whole teen/adult life. Throughout my twenties I had it pretty badly on my face, chest and back. I couldn't wear anything that wasn't high necked.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis a few years ago and put on a low dose combined pill for treatment. It was great for me symptoms wise, but an amazing side effect was also the fact it cleared my acne after a month or so. I had spent years using topical treatments to no avail, and suddenly it was fixed. Not perfect, but the best it had ever been. My confidence skyrocketed, it changed my life.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I was getting migraines with aura, and I was taken off my pill. I had a break for a while and my spots started to return almost immediately. Plus my endometriosis symptoms were worse again. The doctor put me on the mini pill. This has been OK for the endometriosis (up and down) but my acne has increased hugely and is worse than it ever was. I hoped it would settle but it's been over three months. It's all over my face, neck, chest and back, causing scars, deep and cystic. The skin is rough and uneven. I feel like I'm in a nightmare whenever I look into the mirror. Pictures I took during my clear skin phase make me want to be sick, if would give anything to go back on my old pill but I know I can't. I don't know what to do.

I have been trying everything, salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, tea tree, charcoal. I am terrified I will look like this forever. I know it sounds vain but I have depression and anxiety and the acne makes everything feel so much worse. I have to keep taking the mini pill because my endometriosis is awful if I don't take anything. I am in my mid thirties and I feel so ugly and worthless. When the acne first came back I told my consultant because I wanted to be sure I could not go back on the old pill. He said my health was worth 'a few spots.' It made me so angry, I would kill to only have 'a few spots.'

I don't know if anyone has been in a similar situation or can give advice on what to do... I just feel so wretched now, I have a painful condition and I look a mess.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.

OP posts:
bobbythejobby · 05/07/2020 10:39

I have also suffered with acne on and off since my teens. When I was a teenager and in my 20s it was often extremely bad - big massive cyst-like spots that were genuinely painful and took months and months to go away and some of which I still have the scars from. It took me a while to work out that it was my hormones causing the acne. I also have problems with exceptionally painful periods and migraines (but not the headache-type migraines, the migraines that affect your vision, I think they're called occular migraines or something). I had similar issues to you - was on the combined pill for years, at least 10 years, and my skin looked amazing while I was on it. Then had to come off, went on the mini-pill and boom it was back with a vengeance. I did come off the mini-pill for that reason although I don't have diagnosed endometriosis (although I have always felt that it is a strong possibility given how bad my periods are but that's another story). I now have a fear of going on any contraception whatsoever because I just don't want to end up with horrific acne again especially now I'm in my 30s. It absolutely does destroy your confidence and takes over your life. I don't know the reason why but for some reason, in spite of how awful my periods and other hormone-related issues have been the last few years, but my skin has been pretty good for a while now. I know this is going to sound like a totally shit suggestion but I started taking high strength evening primrose oil (the 1000mg once a day tablets) a few months before my skin finally started to clear up and have been taking it for a year or so now. I don't know if it was just a coincidence or not but I'd heard evening primrose was good for regulating your hormones and your skin which was why I started taking it in the first place and my skin does look suspiciously good at the moment. I do think you should go back to your GP and push them hard for proper treatment for your acne but in the meantime maybe you could try evening primrose oil just to see if it does make any difference? It's cheap to buy, 2.50 in my local Tesco, and barring any side-effects (I haven't had any and don't know of any but haven't particularly looked into it to be honest) then it surely wouldn't do any harm to try it meantime? And maybe try some of the other good suggestions from other posters while you're waiting for a referral by your gp? I'm actually thinking of trying some of the suggestions in the other posts myself, particularly the SPF 50 and changing pillowcase one - would never have thought of either of those things. Anyway, good luck and if it's any consolation you're definitely not alone - it's a total myth that only teenagers get acne but a very frustrating myth all the same.

sst1234 · 05/07/2020 10:44

OP, would you consider Roaccutane. It is a miracle drug for acne as far as I am concerned. I know it gets a bad rep for other reasons, sometimes unfairly, but adult acne is meant health killer in itself.

Highperbolay · 05/07/2020 10:47

I think you should definitely push for a dermatology appointment.

In the meantime, if you are on Instagram then follow 'My Skin Story' - she has suffered from terrible acne herself which she is currently managing and has lots of great advice for acne. I do not have acne myself but have followed some of her more general advice about skincare and it has done well for my skin. She also talks about diet etc as well.

ResumetonormalASAP · 05/07/2020 10:52

I feel for you. I suffer too but only on my face and get horrible spots around my mouth and chin area and that is bad enough.

I don't know the answer since I have suffered all my life but hope you find some good things to try.

Best wishes

Thingsarel00kingup · 05/07/2020 10:53

Feel for you OP - I've cried many times over my cystic acne, and I'm 48 now.

My skin has been much clearer now for about 5 years since I stopped all over the counter 'spot' treatments and creams as they just made it worse.

Before that I'd had several short courses of antibiotics over the years (six months at a time, and they cleared my skin for years after each time. Pretty sure it was Oxytetracycline).

Usually my GPs didn't realise how bad it was as I covered up with make up, but it really is soul destroying and battered my self-esteem so I do empathise.

It's not a 'few spots..', that's so harsh and dismissive of the GP - for starters it's bloody painful, and makes sufferers feel really shit about themselves.

Hopefully you'll be able to get another appointment, maybe even a different, more understanding, GP and can ask outright for a prescription for something that will work (I never tried roaccutane as I'm prone to depression).

Wishing you well with this - it can be sorted out Smile

bobbythejobby · 05/07/2020 10:56

@DevastatedandDistraught - I was offered Roaccutane by an nhs dermatologist as a teenager, similar age to your daughter, and this was actually why I decided not to try it. I can't remember if the dermatologist told me about suicidal thoughts as a side-effect or if I had read it myself but it scared the shit out of me to be frank. However we have a strong history of suicide in my dad's side of the family (one suicide for every generation) which probably made me more cautious. Im so sorry for your loss. For what it's worth, I also find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that doctors are happy to prescribe Roaccutane when, to my mind, suicidal thoughts and following through on those thoughts, is a side-effect that I wouldn't want to risk but perhaps my family history made me extra-cautious.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/07/2020 11:17

We are clearly twins separated at birth 😀

I took roaccutane at 41 & despite pcos & mild endo the acne has gone.

I had the migraine with aura, raises your risk of stokes which is why they won’t prescribe it again.

Sunshiney1981 · 05/07/2020 11:17

Aw op I feel for you so much 💐

You mention you have endometriosis, my advice would be to get to the root problem rather than just try to treat the acne topically.
Read everything you can get your hands on about hormone imbalance, diet, supplements, stress, emotions etc.
I see a few posters have asked about dairy too. It’s worth trying an elimination diet to see if it makes a difference. Dairy, gluten and sugar are inflammatory foods and Endo is an inflammatory condition.

Here’s a link to get you started:

goop.com/wellness/sexual-health/a-guide-to-understanding-and-holistically-treating-endometriosis/

justilou1 · 05/07/2020 11:18

You need to discuss spironolactone. It will help quite a few of your symptoms I believe.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/07/2020 11:20

@minipilling

cks.nice.org.uk/acne-vulgaris#!scenarioRecommendation

NICE guidelines on acne.

Canshopwillshop · 05/07/2020 11:23

@Treacletoots - I’ve just bought some of the Ordinary products for my DD - the Niacinamide, Azaleic acid and the peeling solution. I’m wondering about the retinol stuff you mentioned too. I don’t want to introduce too many things at once though.

OP - sorry you are suffering. Agree with others that you should push for a referral to a dermatologist.

FrolickingFannyBoots · 05/07/2020 11:28

I’m so sorry OP that you suffer this. Acne is horrendous I know.

I have swarthy olive oily skin and throughout my teens my spots were awful, just horrendous and in my early 20’s during the 90’s, I developed acne. It totally ruined my confidence having such bad skin at uni really at a time when I should have been dating more, having fun and in the prime of my youth. I became quite reclusive and it greatly affected my mental health - I just barely manage coping with it; endless skin care, make up etc. Every day cleansing, popping, tcp, toning, make up trying to hide the cysts - omg it was awful.

I tried everything in those days from Clearasil, Clinique to herbal remedies- nada. I knew it was most likely my sebum oily skin and hormones.

My parents then paid for for me to see a private dermatologist and I was put on tetracycline for 2 years in about 1992-3. Took a while to get going, but it worked an absolute treat! Once my skin had really cleared it stayed that way for good. Although I still got lots of spots, my deep acne left me forever and it was manageable from then on. I still have a few scars around my chin and jaw line but nothing that shows much and a little make up covers it.

My children are all now spotty teens and have my skin tone. So if it gets worse any any develop even a hint of acne, I won’t hesitate to get them seen privately and on antibiotics or similar for however long it takes. I know rouactane has some bad side effects, so obviously I would monitor that with them but for me, the tetracycline was my own massive turning point.

Now they have accutane ( in the 90’s there wasn’t much available then apart from tetracycline) like others have said, please try this. I won’t let my children suffer what I went through so it’s worth pursuing every angle for treatment.

I’m not sure how much use the NHS would be. Definitely see another GP and ask for a second opinion- you’re entitled to that. I find the NHS sometimes unhelpful. They won’t prescribe any pills unless you’re literally dying now; they seriously gatekeep ; you get fobbed off or told to take paracetamol for a month and go away. Sorry to say that but that’s been my experience.

My acne was both hormonal and due to my oily olive skin which produces a lot of sebum. I’m in my late 40’s now and use only a mild anti ageing moisturiser and I STILL get a few spots around my period and maybe some peri menopausal changes. Almost 50 and I’m still popping spots!

I find retinol breaks me out in spots and if you use it, you must put an SPF on your skin the following morning adding to what you’re putting in your skin already. So be careful with retinol. Get proper advice.

I think it heavily depends on your skin type and age . You need a professional consultation/ dermatologist to discuss your options. Try a good complimentary herbalist as well. Some have great advice as to how to work naturally with your skin type. I find eating almonds and nuts and avocados by the shed load keeps my skin smooth but then I’m middle aged Hmm and have different skin needs.

Seriously, don’t let a doctor ignore the issue. Insist you need a referral and you’ve tried everything from diet to skin routine changes, the pill etc - nothing has worked and it’s affecting your mental health / confidence. Acne is very painful too - no doctor should ignore it but I have found some doctors unhelpful about all sorts of issues so insist you are helped.

But it’s really worth the money if you can save up for it to see a specialist. You’ll be seen quickly and helped. Good luck and definitely look the antibiotic/ accutane route.

I found no over the counter products helpef me ( although I’m going back 20 years!) But Weleda are one my favourite skin care brands- I love their natural cleansers and products; they are natural and very gentle.

Both my girls use their new product called ‘Acknedoron’ for problem skin - it works well for both of them. It just take the edge off spots and is very calming as is their Almond range of cleansers. My older daughter uses La Roche Posey Effaclar too which she says reduces redness with her spotty skin and it’s reviews are excellent overall plus not too expensive.

Sallycallic acid I’m sceptical of - if you strip all the oils out- your skin tries to make more ! But again, it depends on skin type.

I really hope you manage to get treatment -don’t leave it any longer OP.

I used to keep at hand some heavy duty theatrical style foundation that covers scars, acne, burns etc for if I needed to cover large spots etc. I don’t recommend you use it all the time of course but for special nights out or important functions, there are some really excellent foundations on the market that can cover acne well so you feel more confident and less self conscious. Very best of luck and like a lot of ladies on here - my advice is the same; antibiotics/ accutane. Flowers

Canshopwillshop · 05/07/2020 11:29

I meant the Granactive Retinoid.

SoapAndFury · 05/07/2020 11:41

Hiw much water do you drink per day? I know it sounds ridiculous but I have also suffered for years- tried topical lotions and antibiotic tablets from gp. Every over the counter remedy.

I am also not allowed the pill anymore which was the only thing keeping horrible cystic spots on my face and back at bay.

I paid for a private dermatologist who offered roaccutane, but I was scared of the side effects.

I started to drink 2-3 litres of water a day religiously and my skin cleared up. If I am not strict with my water intake for a couple of days , my skin flares up again. Might be worth a try?

Othering · 05/07/2020 11:43

Dermatica has already been mentioned but its worth mentioning it again. Its an online dermatologist. Much cheaper than a UK face to face appointment but they prescribe the same stuff (not sure whether they can prescribe roaccutane tho?). It's an excellent service and makes a private dermatologist accessible to many more people.

olympicsrock · 05/07/2020 11:43

I had dreadful cystic acne affecting my face back and chest aged 22 caused by hormonal changes related to the pill. I tried topical things , antibiotics, the pill . Nothing helped. At one point I got impetigo on top and looked like a victim of some flesh eating disease. I was seen by a dermatology who immediately suggested Roaccutane.

IT worked within 2 weeks and I had clear skin. However it does make you very UV sensitive and your eyes and lips would be very dry. I tried every lip balm on the market!
it remodels your skin and all the pock marks disappeared. You do have to be careful - they will not prescribe if it there is a chance you could get pregnant. In my case I just said ‘ my skin is my contraceptive’ . There was no way i would have let anyone touch my face or see me without makeup.

My skin has remained pretty clear since then. I’m 42. I have had the odd flare up since and did find a less drastic but expensive solution. Guinot is a French skin care / beauty brand. They have a range of desensitising skin care with a concealer that calms skin down , takes away the itching and covers spots while healing. They also do hydrodermie facials which work by passing a current through a gel producing free radicals and killing bacteria. Again it works within 48 hours to calm a cystic flare.
I’m a doctor and was at the end of my tether. I wish someone had told me about these options. If you can afford it try a course of the facials.
You can beat this!

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/07/2020 11:49

@FrolickingFannyBoots The nhs dermatologists are really good at prescribing roaccutane.

If you get dry lips you put nipple cream on them.
If you get dry eyes you put hydromellose drops in them.

Everyone concerned with skin health should be wearing spf 30 everyday anyway. A basal cell carcinoma won’t kill you but it will make a hell of a hole when they remove it.

Slowturtle · 05/07/2020 11:54

Prior adult acne sufferer here, YANBU in wanting to cry! I finally hit the point in my 30s where my acne was affecting my mental health and (very public) job too much. I stopped wanting to meet my best friends and wouldn't leave the bedroom without foundation as it was so bad so went to my GP ready to argue for a dermatology referral. Antibiotics seemed to have made things worse and the acne physically hurt and itched all the time and had spread all over my body. I was lucky in that I got immediately referred. Took 4 months for my initial appt then had to be referred agsin to a specialist but I eventually went on Roaccutane and have never looked back. I will be honest, it's not an easy drug and there's a reason it has a bad name. I had some quite big side effects and I still suffer from dry eyes but I would absolutely do it again if I had to. My skin has been clear for 3 years and it's rare for me to wear foundation now, something I could never have imagined before. You need to be monitored and it is really important to read up on the side effects but it can honestly be a life changer. My confidence in my skin sky rocketed and I became my old self again. Watching Katie Snooks Roaccutane Vlog finally convinced me to give it a go despite being worried about the side effects, I recommend watching it.
Push your GP for a referral, especially as it's effecting your mental health. I took a whole raft of photos and pushed myself to go to the gp make up free so they could see just how bad it was. Good luck xx

gypsywater · 05/07/2020 11:57

Roaccutane. It will honestly change your life. Best thing I ever did. Go privately.

StrawberryScentedThings · 05/07/2020 12:02

I am so sorry you’re suffering. It is awful.

Throwing a cheap option out there- spearmint tea (not peppermint). 2 cups a day did wonders for me (acne/pcos).

awishes · 05/07/2020 12:15

@Gah81can I ask what treatment reduced your scarring

Sunshineeeee · 05/07/2020 12:19

I hate this medicine with a passion but I really feel for you. Research accurate. It is a very risky medicine but I have friends who have had great success with it and minimal side effects. It's very hard to get on the nhs but I think with your history they would allow it. It can cause birth deformities so you must be on the pill and can't be pregnant when taking it. The results from it are pretty amazing. It has a new name in the UK as it is quite dangerous and had to be remarketed.

Disclaimer: I personally wouldn't take it but when my acne got really bad I was very very tempted. Luckily mine cleared up with pregnancy. Research it throughout and make an informed decision. Best of luck.

Sunshineeeee · 05/07/2020 12:23

@Sunshineeeee

I hate this medicine with a passion but I really feel for you. Research accurate. It is a very risky medicine but I have friends who have had great success with it and minimal side effects. It's very hard to get on the nhs but I think with your history they would allow it. It can cause birth deformities so you must be on the pill and can't be pregnant when taking it. The results from it are pretty amazing. It has a new name in the UK as it is quite dangerous and had to be remarketed.

Disclaimer: I personally wouldn't take it but when my acne got really bad I was very very tempted. Luckily mine cleared up with pregnancy. Research it throughout and make an informed decision. Best of luck.

Research Accutane not accurate 🤦🏻‍♀️
ghostyslovesheets · 05/07/2020 12:42

roaccutane - as others have said - it's a medical condition that no amount of skin care will change!

DD2 had it so bad on her face, back chest and arms - had 6mths of Roaccutane - came off - it began to return - had 4 more months - she's been completely acne free for a year now.

Please get a referral to a specialist - don't waste money on 'specialist' skin care

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/07/2020 12:47

It’s not hard to get roaccutane, my dermatologist said it’s very rewarding to use it because it’s so effective.

I wasn’t in there 15 minutes with her. By the time you get to see them you’ve tried everything else.