To not tell him he got ripped off

[abouttopropose]

My DP proposed over lockdown (wooo) and during the process of the insuring the ring, I found out how much he paid for it.

It was a lot. And honestly I know quite a bit about it diamonds and jewellery and he paid 2/3 times more than he should have for it.

I feel so guilty that he spent that much money and I know there's nothing I can do now but I feel angry and sad for him that he got duped.

I don't want to tell him but I also do not want to go back there for our wedding rings!

What would you do?

Where did he buy it from? He might be able to get some money back depending on the circumstances.

Of course you can never ever mention it.

It would potentially upset him and what would be the benefit? Unless you wanted him to replace it, which I think loses the romance.

He obviously thought it was worth the price and should be allowed to remain in blissful ignorance.

And honestly I know quite a bit about it diamonds and jewellery and he paid 2/3 times more than he should have for it.
Do yiu know where he could have bought it at the "right" price? Such a large disparity is quite odd.

@Thisismytimetoshine

Yes - most other places! I think he just had no idea and they charged him more because he didn't have much knowledge.

It's done now and I don't want him to know - but equally, I don't want to get our wedding rings from there and overpay again.

Congratulations, OP.

Don't ever mention to him as it will risk negative thoughts for no good reason. Just take a positive that he wanted to pay that much. Try not to think of it as being ripped off. If he bought it on the high street then, like everyone else who does, he paid massively more than he would have buying from trade even at 'trade retail' prices, but that's not being ripped off, just buying from the route that 99% of people use to buy engagement rings. Good luck on your life together.

If it's a genuine overcharge and the ring is generally available much cheaper, why did the insurers allow you to insure at the inflated rate?

what a weird thing to investigate OP ... can't you just cherish the ring the chose for you

Is it more ethically sourced?

Most engagement rings are vastly overpriced.

Thisis, if it's an engagement ring with a value up to, say, ten thousand then it might be an 'insurance valuation' which are notoriously inflated (I suspect the high street jewellers would never sell an engagement ring if they had to provide a valuation closer to the 'true' price at the time of sale). It may be that insurers allow these valuations as the replacement ring from the high street would also be inflated in price and in an insurance claim, the engagement ring would represent a tiny proportion of a claim. I'm not sure, I understand part of the jewellery trade but not loss adjusting.

Middleclass, I wish most/many/some buyers cared enough to take ethical sourcing into account when buying and it may be they do. I've heard a huge amount of talk and social media posting but when it comes to the buying, a handful seem bothered enough about ethical gems, Fair-trade, RJC, recycled, authenticity or anything and then not always enough to influence the purchase.

But if op claims it's 2/3 cheaper in "most other places"...

Nice little earner there if it went "missing"?

Your insurance value is more than the resale value of the ring, or the value of the materials.

Is the ring custom made or from a nice jewellers where they make each ring to order? Rather than one of the high street jewellers?

Because that will increase the price a bit.

Thisis, that would be an unethically profitable arbitrage opportunity as my City acquaintances would say (and probably do).

"And honestly I know quite a bit about it diamonds and jewellery and he paid 2/3 times more than he should have for it."

Is it a hand-written receipt you've seen? Is it possible the 'value' has been inflated to allow it to be insured for much more than was paid? Years ago I bought a ring and was given this with the fraudulentgarbled instruction that I should use this when insuring the ring 'so you get back what you paid, insurers always try to reduce their payouts'.

Why would you have to get your wedding rings there? They aren’t normally bought in secret. Just be involved and then if he wants to go there you can suggest somewhere else.

@Zilla1

Thisis, that would be an unethically profitable arbitrage opportunity as my City acquaintances would say (and probably do).

I know what it is, but what's to prevent it happening?

Thats life surely though, sometimes we pay over the odds if we haven't shopped around? if you are worried, just go to a local Samuels or something and pick up basic wedding rings and tell him that there is no need to splash out on just a band, when its the engagement ring that is the flashy one.

And i would absolutely not tell him that you thought he had been ripped off, why would you do that

But surely you will be present when choosing the wedding rings? So you'll be able to use your superior knowledge to ensure you pay the 'right' price?

Just say you want to choose the wedding rings together and stear him away from that shop?

I don’t know how you could keep that from him when you expect to spend your life with him. You’ll remember it and your “secret” every time you look at your ring. Tell him and then go to where he bought it from and give them hell.

So what does the certification for the diamond say?

@Zilla1

Middleclass, I wish most/many/some buyers cared enough to take ethical sourcing into account when buying and it may be they do. I've heard a huge amount of talk and social media posting but when it comes to the buying, a handful seem bothered enough about ethical gems, Fair-trade, RJC, recycled, authenticity or anything and then not always enough to influence the purchase.

I’m not sure what this has to do with the OP’s DH unless you know him personally. It’s still a possibility. DH got one for me...

Keep mum and don't upset your other half.

As the OP knows a bit about the jewellery trade they will know that the mark up is around 3 to 4 times the value of the materials used to make the object. As for the diamond market, that’s been rigged for years; it’s a nasty corrupt business.