To tell friend the real reason why I can't help with childcare?

[Letmebeloved]

A friend of both DH and I has been asking for help with childcare over the summer. DH refuses to help with anything around the house and/or anything to do with the children. I also work on top of all this.

Usually I would help her out but DH's behaviour has become increasingly unbearable and i am struggling to manage.

Would I be unreasonable to be honest and tell her the reason why i won't be able to help her out this time or is that being disloyal to DH?

@Letmebeloved

I'm just worried our friend will think I'm awful to say such things about DH and it will backfire

Backfire how?

If she is a good enough friend to expect you to look after her children, then being honest with her and expecting support rather than condemnation seems perfectly reasonable

• if she is a friend, you shouldn't feel that you have to lie - or evade the truth.

Does she help you?

Are you afraid of your husband?

Tell your friend. It’s win win. She gets to know the truth and you will be able to off load to your friend. Then there’s no crossed wires. Most women will complain about these types of issues especially at the moment I wouldn’t say it’s disloyal to your DH. Plus he won’t exactly know will he.