Good revenge stories about nasty strangers

[BananasBananas]

We need some good revenge stories to lift our spirits after reading about all the random acts of nastinesses on here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3953798-to-ask-if-a-stranger-has-ever-been-nasty-to-you?msgid=97985195
Post away!

[quote olbndansmummy]@EnterNight scary thought, hordes of scary dinner ladies force feeding kids 😠, my school is in the Midlands. Can still picture the scene and it dripping off the table and running onto her feet 😖[/quote]
Seems to be a common theme. Can you imagine force feeding dinner ladies now? There would be riots

I feel a bit envious at having never ralphed all over a dinner lady. It seems I’m on the minority.

I still remember being sent back to eat any uneatten food in the dining hall in the late 70's and 80's. Didnt throw up over the staff sadly but my mum agreed to me moving to packed lunches as I hated most of the meals.

@BookByte that's awful. Good on your Dad for refusing to back down but how bloody horrible for your Mum to know that her voice wouldn't make a difference with that teacher because of her colour. I had no idea that some piano keys were made from tortoiseshell - you sound like you were a very bright little girl and I'm glad you got reinstated to the reading group where you belonged.

@BookByte, that is dreadful. Makes me so angry that people like that are in teaching (or nursing, police, social work, etc). What a nasty woman.

@BookByte So he calmly asked her why I'd been moved down, and when she couldn't give a satisfactory answer as to why (because her only reason was her own prejudice) he kept calmly and firmly asking that same question. Over and over. He was there for over two hours, and apparently the stress of this inescapable question, that she had no satisfactory answer to, made her cry.

Your dad is a rock star. I can't imagine how he managed to just stay there asking the same question for two whole hours! I bet she thought crying would get her off the hook. Bitch. I had a teacher that hated me (just for me not racism) and the only saving grace was I only had her for a year. Can't stand these people.

Tales of flashers remind me of an incident at college; not me, I was still too naive, but one of our number entered wholeheartedly into the spirit of the Swinging Sixties, and cheerfully claimed the accolade ("Name - the good time who was had by all")
You can imagine how a residential block full of female students might attract a flasher to the adjoining field. He obviously got a few kicks from upsetting girls until the evening when he leapt from the undergrowth to display his crown jewels to our fellow student.
She, being a true connoisseur, was able to give him a knowledgeable if somewhat uncomplimentary critique of his assets, blessed as she was with so many points of comparison. He ran off shrieking into the night, never to trouble us again.

Ha when I was a mere 11 coming home from hockey practice (flat tyre on bike) a man ran right up behind me in an alley with his todger out giving it a tug and saying 'suck me off, go on please suck me off'. Somehow I managed to give him a withering look (actuslly I was furious) and said 'I've seen better things hanging on a Christmas tree you wanker'. Turned on my heel and stomped off.

Next time I saw him in the same place I was with a mate and I handed her my hockey stick and said right let's get him and started calling him names. Telling him I was going to rip his bills off etc. He ran (cycled) off. Don't think he was expecting the grief from a very small and skinny 11 year old.

So my parents called the Police when I got home and I told them what had happened complete with Christmas tree comment. They could barely keep a straight face.

Never saw him again!

Year ago, I was a bit late for work. To get on the motorway you went left at one roundabout, changed lanes as you went under the motorway and right at the next to join. No lights, but there are lights there now.

There was a lad in a fast car chivvying me to go faster, and as I was heading towards the 2nd roundabout there was a space in the left hand lane, so I pulled in and let him zoom past. At the next roundabout a red car was coming to a stop in the right hand lane, as , unusually for that time of the morning a car was coming off the motorway at that junction to go round the roundabout and turn right. Of course lad in fast car simply did not read the road and went slamming into the back of red car.

I stopped to check both guys were OK which they were, but as I was already late for work, I handed both blokes my card and said 'Saw it all, happy to be a witness.'

Later that day red car man rang and thanked me for stopping and I gave him all my details for his insurance, and told him he had absolutely nothing to worry about it was all kid in a fast car's fault and if it hadn't been him it would have been me, I'd had a near miss.

Later kid in the fast car rang me and said 'I'm hoping you can be my witness. Did you see anything I didn't?'
'Yes, I said, I saw something you didn't. I saw you driving like an idiot so close to my bumper at roundabout 1, that I knew there'd be a problem if I had to brake, which was why I pulled in to let you pass only for you to slam into the back of Red Car, who was stopped there because of Blue Car , which I could see but you clearly were not looking, going right round the roundabout. So I saw 2 thing you didn't'

'Two things?' he said

'Yes, you driving like an idiot, and you not looking ahead and reading the road, that is what caused that accident'
(long pause...)
'Of course I am more than happy to be a witness for your insurance...' - funny enough he wasn't so keen on that.

The other one was in the late 1970s, I was sat in traffic in the right hand lane of two at the lights on my motorbike, and the guy to my left lobbed his cigarette, still lit out of the window, it landed on my tank and rolled down to my leg. (I had full leathers & summer weight leather gloves, so the fact it was warm didn't matter other than there was a teeny melt of the plastic on my tank cover, and the summer gloves were thin enough for me to easily pick it up. I moved my bike over to the left, and dropped the cigarette in through the still open window onto the bloke's lap and said 'I think you dropped this, it landed on my lap' just as the lights changed and I roared away. He took ages to leave the lights, presumably trying to get the cigarette back out of the window.

I just remembered a third...

I was in London on a very hot day on my motorbike, heading down the left lane of two, there were a lot of parked cars on the left side of the road, and there were a lot of shops, people milling about etc, so I was only pootling along. Traffic was very heavy and stationary for a long way back in the right hand lane. There was a bus stop of people outside a newsagents just ahead of me, as I pulled alongside the door of the (empty of coffin) hearse to my right suddenly opened and I had to do an emergency stop as one of the funeral attendants had decided to dive out and into the newsagents perhaps for a cool drink.
My comment was heard by the entire bus queue who clearly appreciated it '**What's up mate, trying to catch yourself a new passenger?'

When I was just in high school there was a house on the route home which a majority took where a flasher/pervert lived. He mostly got his kicks by shoving his erect penis out of the letterbox into the fresh air whilst he tried to peer through the frosted glass for a reaction.

One night he wasn't there. The tale I heard was another pupil left a little earlier and stood in the alley (terraced properties with an alley between and a short front garden). When pervert shoved it through she lifted the letterbox the rest of the way and slammed it closed.
I really hope it was true. Something definitely put a stop to his game though.

First holiday with my DH who was my boyfriend at the time in the Caribbean. We were 23/24 and staying at a luxury 5* hotel, we were the youngest people by about 15years but that didn't bother us at all. We were sunbathing when I moved my sunlounger round to face the sun, this lady in her 50's screamed at me to move my fucking feet out of her face (I was nowhere near her face with my feet, I was actually moving my lounger further away and she came after we did to the pool) I was so shocked I said sorry, then I went you don't have to be so rude I am moving the bed away actually. She told me to shut up you little bastard and I said you shut up you old leather faced slapper. The look on her face, she was raging. My DH told her husband to put her on a leash and that she was out of order, her DH had a stern word with her and she was all sweetness and light trying to buy us a drink. We were civil back but told her we don't drink and put our earphones in. Her poor DH, living with her.

@BookByte How awful for you. I'm so pleased your dad stood up for you and got you back to your reading group, but how heartbreaking for your mum to know already what sort of treatment she would have got if she went instead.

@SerenityNowwwww

Why did they always try to force feed you as a child? We used to get pudding which was some sort of gloop with a transparent edge and a skin.

Vanilla pooooo-ding
Strawberry pooooo-ding
Chocolate pooooo-ding

It was horrible. The school secretary (who was also horrible) used to rule the lunch room would make sure we ate our pooooo-ding (as she called it).

They bowls would be inspected by the school secretary and any child would be forced to eat anything left.

Whoever was the ‘head’ of the table used to carefully distribute what we couldn’t force down into all the bowls except the top empty one to take them to the tray pass.

I only remember one particular day when the head of our lunch table hurriedly scraped all of the leftover mush into one bowl and picked up the stack of remaining bowls - then for some reason dropped them onto the bottom (full of chocolate pudding) bowl. It was a poonami of pudding which did, to our delight, splatted the school secretary.

It was decided by the secretary that this had been done on purpose and the child sent to the Headmaster.

I’ve seen so many stories about dinner ladies forcing kids to eat their school lunch, on this thread and others! Never happened at my school, they’d encourage you to try and eat more but never forced you. But we didn’t have school lunches, you brought in your own - so I’m wondering if maybe when it was the school paying, it seemed worse if kids weren’t finishing it? That or my school was just really good at hiring nice dinner ladies!

It used to blow my mind, you had to have a bit over everything even if you knew you didn’t like it.
So you were served something you didn’t like and didn’t want but had to sit and look at it as it got cold since you weren’t allowed to go and play out until you had a clean plate. If you got a “nice” teacher they would split the uneaten food in half and tell you you could go if you ate half of it - why??
I didn’t want it, hadn’t asked for it yet me not eating it was “wasteful” didn’t make any sense to me at all. If you were lucky you got sat on the same table as Steven “dustbin” Smith (real name) who ate everything for you when nobody was looking

When I was at school we had this really horrible caretaker - a more bitter and twisted middle-aged man you could never have met. One day, in the playground, he berated me because a crisp packet (not mine) was on the ground a metre or two behind me. Funnily enough, I didn't have eyes in the back of my head then - still don't, actually - so it hadn't occurred to me to pick up someone else's litter that I didn't even know was there.

Anyway, he stormed off towards the building across the road and promptly got hit by a car . He wasn't killed or anything, just a few broken bones, although he never returned to work at the school and died a couple of years later (unrelated to the incident). The funniest thing was, it's was my best friend's mum who hit him!

@contrmary that is not funny in the slightest. I am horrified that you think it is. He was probably cantankerous yes but did not deserve to be hit by a car. How awful of you to put a laughing face emoji next to this and to write it as an amusing story. Do you know a huge proportion of older people who fracture hips go on to die within 12 months. There is a good chance he actually died from complications of this oh so funny accident he had. Jeez

She told me to shut up you little bastard and I said you shut up you old leather faced slapper. The look on her face, she was raging. My DH told her husband to put her on a leash and that she was out of order

Weren’t you tempted to go the whole hog and bottle her?

Telling someone’s husband to put them “on a lead” is bloody awful and pretty misogynistic

God some of these stories are terrible.
'Put her on a lead'....wow what a comeback....

This thread has predictably descended into pure fantasy with a good helping of l'esprit d'escalier.

Might as well end each post with ”And then the whole bus clapped”

Telling someone’s husband to put them “on a lead” is bloody awful and pretty misogynistic

Yup, it's grim. However appalling an adult's behaviour, it's a nasty thing to address their spouse/partner and tell them to 'control' them - and I'd be very concerned if I was married to somebody who even had 'put her on a leash' in their vocabulary when referring to a human being. By all means give her a rocket for her behaviour, but it's really taking the moral low ground to suggest that she is owned or controlled by her husband. "Can't you have a word with her?" is one thing; "you need to put her on a leash" is horrific.

Blimey, finding it hilarious that your friend's mum knocked over a man with her car but 'he wasn't killed or anything' and died a few years later really is the absolute pits. I wouldn't go around bragging about that story in real life if I were you.