Good revenge stories about nasty strangers

[BananasBananas]

We need some good revenge stories to lift our spirits after reading about all the random acts of nastinesses on here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3953798-to-ask-if-a-stranger-has-ever-been-nasty-to-you?msgid=97985195
Post away!

@CarterBeatsTheDevil

I remember getting on a train a while ago - quiet train, plenty of seats, not many people at the station. It was a really hot day. Just as I had put both feet on the train, as it were, someone shoved me really hard in the back, hard enough to shove me forwards. It was a real shock and quite painful. I turned around and there was a woman behind me with a massive smirk on her face. I said "What did you do that for?" and she said "Maybe you won't shove your way to the front of the queue next time.". There wasn't a queue at all - she and I were the only people waiting for that carriage and the doors had opened right in front of me. Anyway, she sat down opposite me and kept looking at me and smirking and I noticed she was wearing a passcard and lanyard round her neck. I stood up to move to a different seat and as I passed her I just paused and leaned forward a bit, then said "Oh, you work for [company], do you? You probably shouldn't wear one of those if you're going to assault strangers on public transport."

No more smirking after that but I didn't actually report her - I just wanted to see the smirk fall off her face!

I think you would have been well within your rights to report her actually as what she did was assault! xx

@MaMisled

Years ago, i struggled on a bus with my three DC, all under 4 yrs old. It was a very hot day and i was stressed and tearful. The fare had gone up and i was 20p short. A man waiting behind me threw an absolute wobbly about how stupid i was. The driver kindly waved me on. The man kept on the whole journey into town.....i shouldn't have had 3 DC if i couldn't afford them etc. I saw him later, on the High Street, after going to the bank and shops. Took a bar of warm, soft Dairy Milk from my bag, opened the wrapping, squeezed it in my hot hands to melt it and approached. I slipped the mushy chocolate in chest pocket of his cream shirt and patted it hard, saying "a gift, from me". Then calmly carried on walking. Tosser.

This is another example of a horrible and aggressive overreaction that did nothing but make me cringe reading it. The contrast with some of the stories where people have responded with cool and measured class...

@Rainycloudyday if hadn't been so nasty to her she wouldn't have dont that. Act like a twat and take the risk. Don't be so wet.

I agree with @Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel , it is really hard trying to get around on public transport with three children and the man was bullying her because he could.

@MaMisled

Years ago, i struggled on a bus with my three DC, all under 4 yrs old. It was a very hot day and i was stressed and tearful. The fare had gone up and i was 20p short. A man waiting behind me threw an absolute wobbly about how stupid i was. The driver kindly waved me on. The man kept on the whole journey into town.....i shouldn't have had 3 DC if i couldn't afford them etc. I saw him later, on the High Street, after going to the bank and shops. Took a bar of warm, soft Dairy Milk from my bag, opened the wrapping, squeezed it in my hot hands to melt it and approached. I slipped the mushy chocolate in chest pocket of his cream shirt and patted it hard, saying "a gift, from me". Then calmly carried on walking. Tosser.

Of course you did. I don't even believe this happenned - sorry

Some of these stories aren't 'karma' - they're incidents where someone has behaved badly in return. Walking up to a stranger and smearing them in chocolate - if this is actually true - is fucking unhinged.

It reminds me of the episode of Frazier when he starts a show about karma and just deserts and it descends into people ringing up to say they had posted live scorpions to people who had pissed them off.

Don’t be mean/criminal, people!

I was about eight. A teacher at my school had an annoying habit of standing over the kids at school lunch, ensuring they ate everything (why I have no idea). He forced me to eat semolina pudding, which guaranteed to make me heave especially when like the school variety it has a 2 mm thick skin on the top. I ate three spoonfuls before I hurled all the way down his trouser-leg.

Karma.

I also liked the recent story about the Cornish farmer who slurried his field when a CF stranger decided to park his Merc on his land. Needless to say the farmer didn't make an exception for the patch of land on which the car was parked.

The story about the cow piss really made me laugh.

I was working as a Marketing manager at a Private clinic years ago, part of my role was to deal with advertising and partnerships . I had a meeting arranged with a company that wanted to partner with us, it would have been very lucrative for them but there were a few companies in the frame.
Our Receptionist had to go and do something else so I said I would cover for her for a bit until my appointment arrived. A man arrived and virtually strutted into Reception, called me “darling” and proceeded to be very patronising and a bit sleezy - apparently he was here to see the Marketing Manager! I was actually very pleasant to him but we both knew he was unlikely to get the contract.
Always be nice to Receptionists and Security Guards, firstly because it’s because what decent people do but also because they are good sources of information. I once got a lead that led to a really good contract after being tipped off by a Security guard in the building.

I think there are an awful lot of 'what I wish had happened' tall tales here rather than reality.

The dairy milk story sounds like bollocks for one.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

I was about eight. A teacher at my school had an annoying habit of standing over the kids at school lunch, ensuring they ate everything (why I have no idea). He forced me to eat semolina pudding, which guaranteed to make me heave especially when like the school variety it has a 2 mm thick skin on the top. I ate three spoonfuls before I hurled all the way down his trouser-leg.

Karma.

I also liked the recent story about the Cornish farmer who slurried his field when a CF stranger decided to park his Merc on his land. Needless to say the farmer didn't make an exception for the patch of land on which the car was parked.

The story about the cow piss really made me laugh.

Haha EXACTLY the same scenario but it was Cheese Pie (which I absolutely hated) and a dinner lady who decided I was to eat the lot. I threw up all over her feet. She was not impressed (this was the 80's, I'm sure dinner ladies were harder in the 80's).

Fortunately my Mother was as equally unimpressed and I never had to have school lunches again. Still cant eat cheese pie.

Something amazing happened to me recently at Leeds Castle in Kent. (before 'rona)

My little boy was "running" along in front of us in wellies, down a (very small) slope. A woman said loudly to her husband "I hate it when parents let their kids run down hills, especially in wellies. Mind you it's not my child, nothing I can do. Makes me sick though." SO passive aggressive.

It really, really irked me, especially when she shot me a disgusted look, DH told me to forget about it.

We managed to avoid them for a couple of hours but ended up sitting on the bench next to them in the play bit, there was a bit of tension!

Their little boy had some bubble mixture in his hands, they were on their phones not paying much attention. Little boy started drinking bubble mixture. It was with great pleasure (well, apart from the fact that a child drinking bubble mixture doesn't make me happy) that I alerted them to this. Mum was very upset, ranting loudly at the husband at how this had happened. She was bright red and didn't look me in the face.

Perfect Karma!

@EnterNight I think you might have gone to my school! A nasty dinner lady back in the 80s made my friend eat cheese pie, despite repeatedly being told she hated, and my friend threw it all up EVERYWHERE! Funnily enough, she never did it to anyone again, and retired soon after

[quote olbndansmummy]@EnterNight I think you might have gone to my school! A nasty dinner lady back in the 80s made my friend eat cheese pie, despite repeatedly being told she hated, and my friend threw it all up EVERYWHERE! Funnily enough, she never did it to anyone again, and retired soon after[/quote]
The scarier thought it there must have been an army of food forcing dinner ladies back in the day.
Unless you went to Grange, in which case hello classmate

A few years back i worked as a dancer in a strip club, i was very new to the club so i just minded my own business, did my dances, made my money without getting in any of the other girls way.

One night it as very quiet and only one customer came in so i sat down with him for a chat and he agrees to do a VIP dance for one hour - at the time that it was £180 for a VIP dance. The club was empty and he was the only customer so i was really thankful that i was going to be booked out for an hour. HOWEVER i was desperate for the loo so before we went to the bar so he could pay for the dance i said i would just nip to the bathroom and that id be straight back.

I came back less than two minutes later and another girl had jumped in my place and said in a sneer to me "hes changed his mind and is going to do the dance with me instead".

I was too new and didnt want an argument so i just let it go. The other dancers saw and said thats really rude, she shouldnt poach other girls customers etc but i was just too timid to say anything! (after a few months of dancing i grew out of that - dog eat dog in there)

Then I sat down by the bar deflated but karma did her thing and all of his cards got declined - he had about 5 cards and they all got declined - he spent about 20 minutes doing this and the girl had to stand there and watch her money slip away. Her face looked ike a slapped donkeys ass.

Moral of the story dont be a bitch.

EnterNight DH moved here from another European country age 9 and one of his first memories of school was being made to eat something and then throwing it up

Then I sat down by the bar deflated but karma did her thing and all of his cards got declined - he had about 5 cards and they all got declined - he spent about 20 minutes doing this and the girl had to stand there and watch her money slip away. Her face looked ike a slapped donkeys ass.

And the notoriously kind and understanding owners of a lap dancing club said, ‘Oh, you poor man - how embarrassing this must be for you! Please don’t worry; it happens to us all once in a while. I tell you what - have this one on us.’

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

This happened to an ex of a relative. He was a contractor in computers and had a very inflated sense of his own worth. Got a gig at a big private bank in the city. Relative had friends working their.This was in the 80s and they had a Doorman and a lift operator. First day got in lift with an older man. Was very rude and disparaging about Doorman and then very rude to lift guy who he’d asked for wrong floor. Older man strikes up conversation where ex bigs himself up. Walk to reception on their floor. Where older man says “mr x won’t be staying, he obviously cannot be polite to other people. I’ll be sure to pass your name to other businesses as someone to avoid.” receptionist says “yes, mr name of bank.”

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow - banker's initials weren't IN or AG, were they? I can imagine IN doing this and suspect his partner would have been made of the same ilk.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Then I sat down by the bar deflated but karma did her thing and all of his cards got declined - he had about 5 cards and they all got declined - he spent about 20 minutes doing this and the girl had to stand there and watch her money slip away. Her face looked ike a slapped donkeys ass.

And the notoriously kind and understanding owners of a lap dancing club said, ‘Oh, you poor man - how embarrassing this must be for you! Please don’t worry; it happens to us all once in a while. I tell you what - have this one on us.’

Ha ha - i remember the manager saying welll if you cant afford a drink or a dance get out!

I've always hated milk puddings. And of course, you were practically guaranteed one a week for school lunch back in the 70s.

I refused to eat them. So the dinner lady would get the jug of rosehip syrup and pour what seemed like galleons on top, saying "this will make it taste better". No, I have rosehip syrup, too.

So, they tried the "you'll have to sit there until you eat it". So I sat there until the end of the lunch break, not eating it. Teacher had to come and collect me from the dinner hall, she wasn't happy.

This happened several times, and eventually one of the dinner ladies took it upon herself to force feed me. Didn't end well, I puked it all over her.

Told mum, she wasn't happy. Result was I got an apple for dessert whenever the milk puddings were on the menu. Can't quite recall the whole story, I was 5, and mum is sadly no longer here to ask.

NC for obvious reasons...
I was a shy and awkward first year student at Oxford in the 80's, living in college. The girl in the next room had a very active 'social' life. She and her close friends used to cold-shoulder and refer to me as The Virgin (which was true). One night I was woken up in the night when her overnight visitor came into my room by mistake (presumably after a trip along the corridor) and got into my bed. I tried to tell him he'd come to the wrong room but he just said "Shut up and move over". This went on for a while, until I got past him and turned the light on. He jumped up and then started trying to introduce himself, then scarpered out of my room, starkers. Next morning I found he had left something behind on my floor, which I was embarrassed to put into my own bin because my cleaner would find it (silly, looking back, but I was really just a kid). So I put it in my bag and went out go find a public bin. As I passed the cafe next to college there was my unfriendly neighbour, a couple of her pals and her overnight guest. I went up to them and handed him his underpants, saying "Lovely to see you again- you left these in my room last night" then turned and walked off. I don't know what happened next, and I didn't see him again until he was in the Cabinet.

Why did they always try to force feed you as a child? We used to get pudding which was some sort of gloop with a transparent edge and a skin.

Vanilla pooooo-ding
Strawberry pooooo-ding
Chocolate pooooo-ding

It was horrible. The school secretary (who was also horrible) used to rule the lunch room would make sure we ate our pooooo-ding (as she called it).

They bowls would be inspected by the school secretary and any child would be forced to eat anything left.

Whoever was the ‘head’ of the table used to carefully distribute what we couldn’t force down into all the bowls except the top empty one to take them to the tray pass.

I only remember one particular day when the head of our lunch table hurriedly scraped all of the leftover mush into one bowl and picked up the stack of remaining bowls - then for some reason dropped them onto the bottom (full of chocolate pudding) bowl. It was a poonami of pudding which did, to our delight, splatted the school secretary.

It was decided by the secretary that this had been done on purpose and the child sent to the Headmaster.

A few months ago we noticed a couple at the end of our road having an almighty row and the man kept shoving the much smaller woman into the side of his car and trying to force her through the door before speeding off up the road, coming back and staring it all again.
We called the police who showed up pretty quickly but the woman didn't want to press charges against him which is obviously entirely up to her but he seemed like a thoroughly unpleasant and scary man.
Unfortunately for him it turned out his car didn't have an mot or insurance so the police took him off in their car and had his towed. That felt like pretty decent karma to me.

@SerenityNowwwww

It reminds me of the episode of Frazier when he starts a show about karma and just deserts and it descends into people ringing up to say they had posted live scorpions to people who had pissed them off.

Don’t be mean/criminal, people!

Live scorpions? Where can you get those?! Actually I can think of a few people I'd love to send them to 😂

@EnterNight scary thought, hordes of scary dinner ladies force feeding kids 😠, my school is in the Midlands. Can still picture the scene and it dripping off the table and running onto her feet 😖