The new parents next door

[Littleblackdress04]

I might have forgotten (or blocked out) what it’s like having a new baby but the poor thing screams day and night- and it’s waking me up most nights as I can hear it through the walls (new build houses)
Anyway, at the weekend baby was screaming so we put on glastonbury on TV partly to drown out the noise- not super loud or anything at about 6pm Saturday afternoon.

They were straight round after 10 mins asking us to turn it down as it was upsetting the (constantly screaming) baby. We did turn it down a bit but it honestly wasn’t at rave levels or anything! Bit of Foo Fighters so maybe a bit of bass.

Aibu to feel a bit pissed off? It was 6pm on a Saturday & honestly I don’t want to have to listen to the baby ALL the time. We have to live our life too in our house!

I don’t want to cause a neighbourly dispute and I am sympathetic to their lack of sleep but surely baby also has to get used to a bit of real life. And sure enough, I was woken up again at 3,4,5am with constant crying.

Aarrggh!

[StarUtopia]

Hmm I'm going to go against the grain here.

A constantly screaming/crying baby needs taking out of the bloody house in the pram/car whatever - to give everyone a break!

I wouldn't have dreamt of letting my baby cry that loudly in a semi detached house.

Anyway. Going out with baby could well calm him/her down plus calm the parents now - who are probably that stressed out with it they're actually exacerbating it and making the baby worse (who will be picking up on their stress)

You were not unreasonable in the slightest to put some music on. I would have sympathised massively but also said it was tipping me over the edge too!

[Chloemol]

I would just put the tv back on when you need to. They are probably frazzled

If they do come round again then that’s your opportunity to have a chat about the baby wa,I got you up, etc

[gutentag1]

You should have told him when he came round that you'd played it because the baby noise was annoying. They might be unaware how loud it is for you.

[sansou]

They may well have a colicky baby and am trying all sorts to no avail. (i well remember this). DC2 was a crier for 12 weeks and then miraculously stopped - after i had literally tried everything apart from cranial massage therapy. I found the lack of sleep so traumatic that it definitely put me off all thoughts of anymore children. Cut them some slack.

[Lockdownseperation]

If they could hear your TV through your walls and over their screaming baby then it must have been pretty loud.

[TheGroak]

Read actual real life experiences of screaming babies above @StarUtopia. Because it worked for yours it doesn’t mean it works for all.

[managedmis]

Er you need to mention it next time the baby is screaming. I'd be straight round

[itbemay1]

YANBU! They should not have knocked at 6pm knowing that their baby has been crying and likely disturbing you. If it was later then fair enough but at 6pm the OP is entitled to have a bit of music on! My babies cried a lot too but I'd try my best to stop them and when I saw my neighbours I would apologise. Babies do not trump everyone else!

[saltycat]

If it was bothering me that much I'd invest in noise cancelling headphones and you can both virtual dance to the music in silence and won't hear the poor crying babe.

Otherwise, there is not much you can do about it really. Is there?

[TheGroak]

Ah yes I’m sure the parents haven’t tried hard enough to stop their newborn screaming @itbemay1

[Rosebel]

I think you've forgotten what it's like to have a newborn. Your tv must have been pretty like if they could hear it over their screaming baby. The parents will be exhausted and I'm sure they wish their baby was settled but it's a baby what do you want them to do?
I have a 2 week old and would be horrified if my neighbour cake on here to slag me off. You aren't being sympathetic. I understand you don't want to listen to a crying baby but at least you can wear ear plugs especially at night. If you don't want to then the crying can't be bothering you that much.

[CostaCosta]

I would cut them some slack. You having to hear a baby cry is very different to having to tend to a crying baby all day.

[amijustparanoidorjuststoned]

OP you're getting a really hard time on here. No, the baby cannot help screaming and I'm sure the parents are at the end of their tether.

But Christ you ARE allowed to enjoy your home a little bit without having to hear the baby screaming and to not be interrupted by the parents!

I'd have obviously understood if it was late at night or for hours on end. I honestly would have said "I only turned it up to drown out the sound of the baby for a little while!"

As I say I sympathise with the parents, but there's nothing anyone can do and you're entitled to a peaceful life every now and again.

[merrymouse]

YANBU. I think that crying babies are just something you have to put up with, but Glastonbury at 6pm is not unreasonable.

Having said that, they have definitely had less sleep than you have, so cut them some slack.

[jacks11]

I think respect/kindness goes both ways. I think most people realise that babies cry, and it often can’t be helped. So neighbours do have to sort of grin and bear it for the most part. I think it can be hard for neighbours who are being woken up frequently by a screaming baby and have their time at home ruined by it too.

However, as the parent of a baby who is screaming the house down at all hours, you have to have a bit of consideration if the neighbours make a little noise leading a normal life. You can’t expect everyone to only think of your needs/wants, so some music being played at 6pm on a weekend evening really is not excessive and the parents need to put up with less than ideal situation too.

[calmcoolandcollected]

You are very inconsiderate not to mention pretty dim, to turn up your TV so loud it wakes up the baby!

According to OP's first post, it didn't wake the baby. She put music on partly to drown out the baby's crying.

[MaconVillagesisgoodchardonnay]

YANBU.

I'm the owner of 16 week screaming baby, thankfully (for them!) we do not have any neighbours. This whinge bag would rival any glasto concert at any telly volume level - I think she'd enjoy the challenge.

It's annoying you didn't think to tell them WHY you've turned the volume up when he came round, perhaps practice your polite explanation and next time it really screams, turn the telly up and wait for them to come round.

Surely no one, no matter how sleep deprived or knackered, is so far up their own arse that they can't comprehend how much noise baby screaming creates? It's a form of fucking torture.

[EL8888]

They were being super precious under the circumstances. Surly it’s give and take? Especially if there has been lots of middle of the night screaming. No one likes the sound of babies screaming

When l bought my first house the neighbours complained me scraping wallpaper by hand was too noisy and too late. This was at 5.45pm . I was polite and stopped to not start issues with new neighbours. In hindsight l would have said it’s too early and our time to work on the house was limited -l did shift work at the time

[tobee]

@Babs709

“Cut them some slack” seems like a daft thing to say. If OP had gone round and complained then perhaps... but all she tried to do was drown out the sound. I would be pissed off too... asking a neighbour to turn their TV down is 🤨 enough, but asking a neighbour to turn their TV down when you’re making a shit load of noise yourself is another thing.

Absolutely this!

Honestly people are behaving as if op went round to complain

So she is "cutting them some slack"

[Littleblackdress04]

@SnackSizeRaisin excuse me? Dim? Wtf? You know nothing about me!

We’ve been cooped up in our house like everyone else for months- honestly, one afternoon of music does not make us unsympathetic or passive aggressive or any of the other charming things I have been called.

We are good neighbours - I just didn’t appreciate the instant knock at the door after 8 weeks of interrupted sleep. I also work full time at home so it’s all been really difficult.

The world does not revolve around them I am afraid despite having a baby. I wouldn’t have expected my neighbours to do the same.

[ArchbishopOfBanterbury]

8 week olds cry. I expect if the parents could help it, they would. Noone chooses to let the baby scream just for fun.

YOU CAN choose how loud you have your telly. If you were trying to drown out the newborn, of course they could hear it next door. Tit for tat is stupid, the baby is a baby, but you're not. Invest in some noise cancelling headphones if you want to drown out the little one. Otherwise, realise its a phase, and won't last forever, and your regular family noise probably gets to them to.

[tobee]

@SnackSizeRaisin

You are very inconsiderate not to mention pretty dim, to turn up your TV so loud it wakes up the baby!
If you want to play loud music, either get a detached house or get headphones.
They are not disturbing you deliberately, but you are disturbing them deliberately. Most babies get over the constant crying by about 3 months or so, it won't go on forever. If you really can't deal with it, maybe go round and see if there's anything that can be done for example put baby in a room on the other side of the house. Don't just passive aggressively turn up the TV!

Have you read op's post? The baby was screaming! You can't wake a screaming baby. It's already a-flaming-wake!

[Singlebutmarried]

Blimey OP. You’re getting a bit of a shitty stick here.

There’s a baby here that SCREAMS between about 11am and 2pm every day. I say baby, they’re probably about 8 months old.

This is a new thing, it’s loud. And it’s in the next semi along from us. So there’s fresh air and a whole house between us.

It’s loud enough to disturb work calls.

I’d carry on having the music on, and if (when) they come round again simply point out the music is stopping you hearing their baby scream, it was already screaming and therefore you’ve not woken it.

Ours used to fall asleep to some banging house. Perhaps try that.

[RoseTintedAtuin]

OP I really sympathise with you. Yes the parents probably are going through a really rough time and are tired and stressed but you are not responsible for keeping their baby quiet at the expense of your own ability to enjoy your own space.

I think it is very unreasonable to expect you to bear the brunt of the noise disruption in silence while they can complain at the merest hint because it disturbs their child.

I agree with the PP that if it were to happen again you need to stand your ground and explain that while you understand their situation and can hear their baby, you cannot stop living in your own house to accommodate them.