New neighbours and tiny children running outside

[AmberDrop]

This is more of a WWYD.... New neighbours moved in today, several houses along. They have five or six children with the oldest being around 7 and youngest a small baby.

Where we live is similar to a cul de sac but in an L-shape, if that makes sense. It means that the outside area does not have passing traffic but residents, delivery people and visitors can and do drive in and around the corner faster than they should. Their house is the first on the corner.

This afternoon, the children have been outside on their own on and off for the last 3-4 hours with no adults. One is around 5, one is about 3 and then there is a tiny tot who is only just walking. They have bare feet and are in harm’s way. The tiny one is walking up to parked cars and licking/touching them. He’s also been left outside completely on his own. My heart stopped when I saw him!

I can introduce myself tomorrow and mention the cars and that there is sometimes glass on the floor etc. And hope it doesn’t happen again.

I would hate them to get hurt. I’d welcome any advice...

I would personally start with just introducing yourself first and making harmless small talk. I would tread VERY carefully about giving advice on your first introduction.
If they're the type to let a toddler out with no shoes, I assume they'll be the type to not take kindly to any advice.
I would personally try building a rapport with them first.

I would just say to them something like "we're really worried about the traffic around this bend, some people go so fast and there are sometimes children in the road. Hopefully the council will put some signs up because no one can let their children out safely at the moment". Presumably the parents would consider the dangers more after that.

Next time I see one of the younger ones walking around alone and touching cars I'd go outside and say hello to the children- hopefully then the parent will come out if they see a stranger with their child and you can say how concerned you were knowing how fast the cars can go, then introduce yourself etc

If it happens again ring social services. Those kids are at risk.

That’s just awful . I don’t know what to say really except if that’s the way their parent their children I am willing to bet they won’t listen . I would be fuming if I saw that.

I would phone social services too

You can go and introduce yourself to them. You could mention that cars go travel in the road faster than they should, sell it that you're concerned about the DC rather than judging.

We have similar, we live in a private road of six houses with no through route. Technically the only people in the road should be residents. But it's by a local shop and lots of people use our car park as a car park for the shop and our street as a turning area. I don't like the idea of letting my kids play out front. Neighbours let their two year old run around unsupervised. I've caught her trying to get into my back garden before now.

That's awful. I would phone NSPCC. They can report to social services if they think it's necessary.

I would be friendly to the parents but wouldn't try and challenge them directly or even advise them, I'd want to at least chat a bit first to try and work out how receptive they'd be.

They let a toddler out of the house unsupervised? That's mental, and so dangerous! Call social services, if they're good parents otherwise a SS visit should scare them out of doing similar again.

I'd go to social services. At that age they shouldn't be out alone (let alone with no shoes).
If you introduce yourself first and make a comment or give advice they'll blame you for the referral.
Social services and don't tell any neighbours you've done it it talk about them to anyone local.

I’d just ring social services or report via the NSPCC. They’d have no reason to think it was you, you can do it anonymously. If they’re playing out like that anyone could have seen or reported them. I’ve done similar for the same thing in my own road.

I wouldn't report to ss yet. If they were only moving in today, the house was probably completely upside down and it may have been dangerous to have kids underfoot. It wasn't great parenting, but it may have been a one-off on moving day. I would go round and introduce yourself, and say something non-accusatory about the traffic. If they continue to leave the toddler out unsupervised, then ss should be informed, but not after day one with furniture being assembled and the like in the house.

Tell your neighbours about the cars. They may have thought that being a cul de sac there wouldnt be a problem with cars.

Dont be surprised if nothing changes.

Our DD was knocked over at age 10 on a similar sounding road. The slowest road traffic accident in history. She was still left with a broken foot and permanent knee damage. If she had been younger/shorter the damage could have been so much work as the impact could have been trunk/head.

Neighbour would happily let her small DCs run in and out of her house onto the road. I told her about my DD's experience a couple of times. Each time she would make this face -> and mind her DCs then within a few hours they would be back to running in and out onto the road.

It’s literally move in day! Move in days are chaos with no childcare. Give it a minute before reporting to anyone. If it happens a week or so in, then worry.

I have the same. I did yell at them to stop
Playing football in the road - it was hitting cars - and a parent came round to ask why I yelled but didn't get it. I would rather they were scared of me than run over so I'm here for similar advice. Sorry to hijack! Their parents also aren't in their line of sight and aren't very erm approachable

Take a picture/video and report ASAP. If this is the public face of the family, who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

I'd bring some baked goods/bottle of wine to welcome them and then speak in glowing terms of the neighborhood. However, then I'd say, confidentially, "The only down side is that people do take that corner
much faster than they should..."

Leave it at that and then see if you need to intervene further.

I'm not sure if I'd bring up the car-licking. That's strangely hilarious. I wonder if he/she is choosing the vehicles with sparkly paint jobs!

Immediately report. Give a fuck if it’s move in day - I’ve recently moved. It’s difficult with children but FFS it doesn’t render you deaf and blind/unable to parent. This is actually scary, someone letting some many young children out like this.

I'm not sure if I'd bring up the car-licking. That's strangely hilarious. I wonder if he/she is choosing the vehicles with sparkly paint jobs!

It’s not hilarious. It’s neglect and it’s depressing.

I live in a very similar layout. I've got a camera for my car as no matter how slow you're going, you'd have no chance the way the kids dart out.

Definitely have a word with them.

@Fink

I wouldn't report to ss yet. If they were only moving in today, the house was probably completely upside down and it may have been dangerous to have kids underfoot. It wasn't great parenting, but it may have been a one-off on moving day. I would go round and introduce yourself, and say something non-accusatory about the traffic. If they continue to leave the toddler out unsupervised, then ss should be informed, but not after day one with furniture being assembled and the like in the house.

This is utter nonsense! 🤦‍♀️

A just walking toddler (I’m assuming that mean 13/14 month) outside unsupervised for a couple of hours is not ok. If there was a much older child with them ok but a 3 and 5 year old couldn’t be relied on to watch them for that long in the street.

If it happened again I would be tempted to call the police but I’d also feel the need to watch they were ok u TIL they arrived.

Yes go say hello and check if they need any help etc....but if the toddler is out in the street again like that unsupervised that’s not a grey area I’d report it. Hopefully it was a one off and they’re were stressed and preoccupied with the the move and slipped up.

This sounds like my Crescent. When I moved here 9 years ago it was full of old people and very quiet. Now all the old people are dying and families are moving in. It scares me shitless when I see the toddlers playing in the road on the bed. All it will take is one person taking that corner too quick. I tried to talk to them when we went Trick or Treating last year, but they were too busy seeing to the baby to give a shit.

I'm not sure if I'd bring up the car-licking. That's strangely hilarious

Hilarious? It's fucking disgusting, that's what it is. On many levels. I certainly don't want other people's slobber all over my car.

I used to lick outside walls and cars when I was little and whenever I thought my mum wasn’t looking. They had a salty flavour that I loved. Thinking back about that,I want to heave