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AIBU?

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Original poster

New neighbours and tiny children running outside

106 replies

AmberDrop · 29/06/2020 19:25

This is more of a WWYD.... New neighbours moved in today, several houses along. They have five or six children with the oldest being around 7 and youngest a small baby.

Where we live is similar to a cul de sac but in an L-shape, if that makes sense. It means that the outside area does not have passing traffic but residents, delivery people and visitors can and do drive in and around the corner faster than they should. Their house is the first on the corner.

This afternoon, the children have been outside on their own on and off for the last 3-4 hours with no adults. One is around 5, one is about 3 and then there is a tiny tot who is only just walking. They have bare feet and are in harm’s way. The tiny one is walking up to parked cars and licking/touching them. He’s also been left outside completely on his own. My heart stopped when I saw him!

I can introduce myself tomorrow and mention the cars and that there is sometimes glass on the floor etc. And hope it doesn’t happen again.

I would hate them to get hurt. I’d welcome any advice...

OP posts:
Staffy1 · 29/06/2020 22:53

@ChaosRising, I'm just assuming they are as who in their right mind leaves children that young unsupervised on a road? I'm also scarred by my own experience and wouldn't wish it on anyone else. Because we tried to do the civil thing and talk to the parents, when someone else in the road called the police several times, it was blamed on us. But instead of coming over and asking us, they encouraged their kids to behave ten times worse and their bad behaviour was directed at us day and night for years. After that, I would never approach people that fit that description again (the type that leave their many kids unattended), but would rather call the police or SS and have nothing to do with them directly.

Eckhart · 29/06/2020 22:54

@SnackSizeRaisin The speed of the cars is irrelevant. Unless there's a speed you'd prefer children to be hit at?

You are essentially saying it's a shame that we're not advocating for children to play in the road.

NeutrinoWrangler · 29/06/2020 22:55

Another vote for "Don't bother talking to them about it. Nothing good will come of it. Decent parents don't let toddlers wander around outdoors without supervision. If you talk to them about it and then need to report them later, they'll guess it was you reporting them. Don't paint a target on your back."

If you don't feel right about reporting them on the first day after they've moved in, I'd keep an eye on the situation and see if it happens again (or if there are other signs of neglect). If When it does, you shouldn't have any qualms about reporting it.

Lollypop4 · 29/06/2020 23:00

I would report too, immediatedly.
There is no excuse for lazy parenting which puts their very very young children at risk

Misslees · 29/06/2020 23:04

I would probably have called the police if I saw a toddler waking around barefoot and without an adult ( not judging that you didn't) But I definitely would phone social services and report what you saw and the police immediately if I saw it happen again.

Bouncingbelle · 29/06/2020 23:10

I wouldn’t report anything yet, it must be chaos moving house with so many children underfoot. I’d go round tomorrow to welcome them and make a point of mentioning that cars still come up the road too fast, even tho it’s a cul de sac. It’s up to them how far they let their 7 year olds roam (at 7 I played in local parks unsupervised) but if I saw any of the Little kids out like that again, I’d report it. And if it was either of the toddlers, I’d be taking them by the hand and taking them back to their own house & explaining I saw them on the pavement alone.

IdblowJonSnow · 29/06/2020 23:12

I'd either call social services or the police.
People like that just dont give a shit and then you might make an enemy. Nobody thinks that's good parenting. They just can't be arsed.
They wont change if you speak to them and then if you report they'll know it's you!
Please get them on the radar if they arent already.

ChaosRising · 29/06/2020 23:13

@Staffy1. Fair enough. If they do give off those kind of aggressive vibes, I'd agree probably best for the OP to report straightaway. In any case, something needs to be done immediately to ensure the children's safety.

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 29/06/2020 23:16

If it were me (I know it isn't)
I would phone ss.
I would describe the general scenario, without any identifying details and ask what would be the correct procedure to follow.
I would let them make the call between moving day chaos and general neglect.
They might say they would like as much info as possible at the time.
Or they might ask you to watch for a couple of days.
They can decide.
Good luck.

Sailingblue · 29/06/2020 23:18

I find it astonishing that people are excusing this as a momentary lapse because moving day is stressful. This is not a lapse, it is downright neglectful parenting. I have a 15m old. The thought of her playing in the street makes my blood run cold. There are no excuses.

Sleepingboy · 29/06/2020 23:18

If I saw a toddler in the street and I knew what house they came from I'd be right over there, pick them up, take them home and say to the parent, your baby got out. Obviously the baby shouldn't be out by itself!

Eckhart · 29/06/2020 23:23

I wouldn’t report anything yet, it must be chaos moving house with so many children underfoot

Yes, life is so much less chaotic when they're undercar.

biglouis · 29/06/2020 23:38

I would mind my own business and see what happens. Leave the snitching to your neighbours.

Justaboy · 30/06/2020 00:08

If i were you i'd either call the NSPCC or the social services or the police they won't tell the neighbour who you are, coudl have been anyone someone drove into the street saw a very young child in the road etc.

I bet as much as you like this lot are known to SS anyway if not then they damm well should be for neglect! Please phone them first thing in the morning if you will please!

Pity the poor poor children:(

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2020 07:08

@Quayyy

Please give it a day or two before reporting. Unless you watched them solidly you don’t know if a parent was in and out or watching from the window/garden. Give them a chance and see what happens before declaring them unfit parents.
Watching from the window is fairly useless if a car speeds round the corner. Well I suppose at least they'd see the accident happen
KatherineJaneway · 30/06/2020 07:14

Do not under any circumstances talk to the parents about this. The type of people who think it is acceptable letting kids out like they are will not take kindly to any hints or advice, at worst you could see yourself targeted.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 30/06/2020 07:24

I moved house last week, and it was horribly chaotic and difficult with my toddler. At no point did I think that a possible solution was to let him play in the (very quiet) road unsupervised, or at all. I can't believe some people are saying OP should let it slide because it was moving day.

ChaosRising · 30/06/2020 07:34

Similarly, can't believe the 'It's fine, they're moving, it's chaotic' comments. When we moved house a year ago, my toddler spent most of the day strapped in his carrier on my back to keep him out of the way of the boxes and cars. It killed my back, but at least I knew he was safe. The first thing we did in the new house was set up a playpen for while we unpacked.

Ristar · 30/06/2020 07:42

Yeah this is a bit scary. yesterday was moving day so they may have been in and out more than you realised, but If you see it happening again today call social services. My next door neighbours are pretty wild but even they don't let toddlers play on the road!

crispysausagerolls · 30/06/2020 07:56

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Fink · 30/06/2020 08:40

I don't think anyone's said 'it's fine, they're moving'. What I said was that it was poor parenting but maybe a one-off in stressful circumstances. Not excusing it, but it is not necessarily indicative of a pattern of neglect.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 30/06/2020 08:52

What I said was that it was poor parenting but maybe a one-off in stressful circumstances. Not excusing it, but it is not necessarily indicative of a pattern of neglect.

I just think that letting a toddler play in the road is so far from normal that it wouldn't occur to normally good parents. I'm not claiming to be a perfect parent, on our moving day DS spent most of it watching Peppa Pig on my phone - but I think that's the sort of lax parenting that is normal for a moving day. I don't think normally sensible and conscientious parents would think 'fuck it, just this once I'll let them risk getting run over'.

Actually, on our second day here DS opened the door and ran outside. It made me feel physically sick and I saw him do it from the other side of the room so caught him about three seconds after he ran out the door. It was still terrifying, I was shaking and near tears with what could have happened. Letting a toddler play in the road just isn't like letting them have too much TV or too many sweets or whatever one off things people do on stressful days - it should feel completely, fundamentally wrong to let your child be in danger like that.

Eckhart · 30/06/2020 12:40

Letting a toddler play in the road just isn't like letting them have too much TV or too many sweets or whatever one off things people do on stressful days - it should feel completely, fundamentally wrong to let your child be in danger like that

Yes. Like no good parent would leave their kids to play with matches and petrol 'because moving day is really stressful, and it's maybe a one-off.'

incognitomum · 03/07/2020 05:26

@AmberDrop any news on the dcs?

Wecandothis99 · 03/07/2020 05:53

It's likely a one off as they're trying to unpack boxes with a shit load of kids. Maybe see if it's just that first. They prob think it's a quiet safe road and will be so upset with judgments on their first day