New neighbours and tiny children running outside

[AmberDrop]

This is more of a WWYD.... New neighbours moved in today, several houses along. They have five or six children with the oldest being around 7 and youngest a small baby.

Where we live is similar to a cul de sac but in an L-shape, if that makes sense. It means that the outside area does not have passing traffic but residents, delivery people and visitors can and do drive in and around the corner faster than they should. Their house is the first on the corner.

This afternoon, the children have been outside on their own on and off for the last 3-4 hours with no adults. One is around 5, one is about 3 and then there is a tiny tot who is only just walking. They have bare feet and are in harm’s way. The tiny one is walking up to parked cars and licking/touching them. He’s also been left outside completely on his own. My heart stopped when I saw him!

I can introduce myself tomorrow and mention the cars and that there is sometimes glass on the floor etc. And hope it doesn’t happen again.

I would hate them to get hurt. I’d welcome any advice...

Oh and OP I think to avoid confrontation a secret call to social services would be in order (if this becomes a regular occurrence)

Call social services: they're unsupervised in/on a street where cars take the blind corner too fast.

They won't know it's you.

They’re aware that their small kids are out on a public highway where they might get run over. I can’t imagine you pointing it out to them will make any different sadly. They sound like the sort of parents who don’t give a shit.

@rosesandcashmere

I have the same. I did yell at them to stop Playing football in the road - it was hitting cars - and a parent came round to ask why I yelled but didn't get it. I would rather they were scared of me than run over so I'm here for similar advice. Sorry to hijack! Their parents also aren't in their line of sight and aren't very erm approachable

No.

Nobody decent would allow a one year old out unsupervised, that's insane!

Call social services or NSPCC, that's SO far from a momentary lapse in parenting.

I'm with @JacobReesMogadishu! I think this could be a very difficult situation, with very unreasonable people.

Probably not want you want to hear..... sorry 😐

@FuckThisWind

This sounds like my Crescent. When I moved here 9 years ago it was full of old people and very quiet. Now all the old people are dying and families are moving in. It scares me shitless when I see the toddlers playing in the road on the bed. All it will take is one person taking that corner too quick. I tried to talk to them when we went Trick or Treating last year, but they were too busy seeing to the baby to give a shit.

Then WHY have you not called the police or SS?

I live on a cul de sac that has a blind bend on it near the entrance and so many people drive far too quickly. Mainly people that don't live here and are turning around, cars parked everywhere.

Our neighbours DC play out in the street a lot but always have a parent with them. I worry for the cats let alone if here were u supervised DC 🙈

I really feel for you OP. I have one houseful of neighbours like this- at their worst they've had the 3 year old out pushing the 1 year old around in a toy car, unsupervised....Our cul de sac is pretty quiet, but the entrance can be used as a turning space for school run cars at school time. Someone I know came very close to reversing over the (then) 2 year old, wandering around unsupervised. Apparently, she went straight home and threw up.

Problem is, as PP have mentioned, the parents are NOT approachable, to say the least. My approach has been to talk directly to the kids, as gently as possible, about the need to stay out of the road. They just stare at me dumbly, but hopefully something's going in. Ironically, the fastest drivers by far in our cul de sac are their parents, and their parents', er, "friends".....

@crackofdoom

Why would
You try reasoning or
Explaining to small children rather then getting them help?

In what world is this even remotely ok? Moving day? So what!? You don’t let a toddler out unsupervised. Ffs.

I’d call social services, or the Nspcc for advice.

Seems a bit mad to let your youngsters walk around the street and road when you don't know the area, road or neighbours.
I would introduce yourself tomorrow and add in some cautionary words about the traffic in the cul d sac making playing in the road dangerous.
If no changes are made then maybe escalate with a call to services.

I can’t believe people are advocating giving the parents another chance. This is a serious neglect and safety situation. Wtf

Thank you for all the comments. The fact that there are such polarised views so far tells me I was right to ask.

It has certainly crossed my mind that they may not care or might react badly. If it happens again tomorrow then it’s more than just distraction from moving.

The little one is so small he has to drop down and crawl to get over the small step of their front door. He was 2-3 car lengths away from their house on his own. I just can’t imagine how any parent would take that risk.

If they were only moving in today, the house was probably completely upside down and it may have been dangerous to have kids underfoot.

More dangerous than letting a toddler play out in the street alone? Nah.

They're shitty, neglectful parents. I'd report to SS.

I really wouldn’t recommend talking to the parents.

Don't phone social services quite yet! Did you watch them solidly for 3-4hrs so there was definitely no adult going in and out of the house etc? - or was there windows open/door open etc or adults sitting on front porch/in front garden and you couldn't quite see? Definitely if it happens another time head over there and say hello to the kids - if the adults are anywhere around hopefully there will be an opportunity for you introduce yourself and say 'have you seen how fast people have started coming round that corner?!' in a surprised/shocked adult-to-adult way.. and hopefully they'll get the hint! If there's nobody around then yes you really need to tell someone. I don't think it's wise to let kids under the age of 5 or even a bit older play outside by themselves! Anything could happen

I’d call SS before the little one gets hit by a car. Also if they are happy to be this neglectful in public I’d be worried about what goes on behind closed doors that you can’t see. Someone checking in is in the children’s interests. I wouldn’t bother trying to talk to them directly it may just cause tension and you have to live there long term

I wouldn't say anything to them, but you could perhaps put a note on their car or through their door voicing your observations and concerns. People nowadays are funny and you dont want to look like an interfering busybody

Oh come on, kids lick everything, who remembers the queues of adults buying hand sanitiser at the start of lockdown and the kid in the queue licking the handrail they were all touching.

Letting tiny tots out unsupervised is different, I would give it a few days but if still happening I would report.

As the children survived this afternoon, I wouldn't report to SS yet. If the same thing happens again, rather call 101 (police non-emergency) and ask them to pass by and have a word. Hopefully that will be all that's needed but they will make an SS referral if they feel it is warranted.

Moving day with lots of kids -stress and chaos. Introduce yourself, get an idea of what's going on. If it persists call SS. I would personally give my details if I thought a child was truly in danger. Too many people hide behind anonymity.

@Feellikedancingyeah

If it happens again ring social services. Those kids are at risk.

This x 1000 times.

I would report to police, rather than telling their mother/father/caregiver. No matter how you present the information, it likely will make you seem like a busybody, and cause issues.

*crispy sausage rolls

Why would
You try reasoning or
Explaining to small children rather then getting them help?*

Because there IS no help. The parents are abusive (to the rest of us) and neglectful, and already known to SS, the police, etc. Everything that could be done IS being done, but the safety net in our society is full of gaping holes. Talking to them is literally all I can do, and even then I run the risk of getting a gobful off the mum if she sees me.