Husband sarcastic remark

[jellybaby10]

Just had a heated argument with my husband and he asked me if I'd taken my tablet today. I take medication for anxiety. Aibu to think this remark is really low and nasty? He's tried to laugh it off but I find it hurtful and minimising what we were talking about.

Sounds like he was trying to be funny but if you think about it, it would take days or maybe weeks to come out of your system.. so really he sounds a bit stupid saying that! Ignorance is bliss 👍🏻

That's what I said to him about not making any difference if I'd missed one tablet which I hadn't by the way.

He could have meant it as a distraction technique (especially if he was in the wrong) to deflect your attention. My ex did that ALL the time. Nothing was ever his fault.

I wouldn't be happy with that, probably was a throw away comment but it's very personal

It did feel personal that's why it upset me.

My husband always asks this if he thinks I'm being unreasonable or lacking patience.

Normally (but not always) he's right and I have forgotten for a fee days!

It offended me the first time he asked.

Whatever the argument, sounds like he was trying to blame it on your anxiety.

Unfortunately, I have had this before but not regarding medication. I am pregnant and DP seems to think every argument we have is because I'm hormonal due to the pregnancy. Nothing is his fault at the moment. It's all the pregnancy.

That would piss me off. Comments like that minimise whatever you’re trying to convey & invalidates your right to express whatever emotion you’re feeling.

The argument was about cooking dinner. I said I'm fed up of cooking every night whilst he sits and watches tv. He's not lazy by any means as he's doing diy in the house and he'll clean up after dinner but I don't get to sit down after I've cooked as then it's time to get kids ready for bed.

Felt like the comment was to shut me down.

If it felt like the comment was to shurt you down then it probably was :(

Try a similar reply to him maybe?
Watch his response....

“has your testosterone patch fallen off?” 😂

I would also be upset OP.

However, my STBX husband used to blame his moods/grumpyness need to go out on depression and say it wasn’t about me although it certainly felt like it was when he wasn’t fit to be around. In the end he wasn’t depressed after all, he was having an affair although his moods when he met OW may have made him more inclined to think the grass would be greener.

I know this isn’t your situation but maybe your OH is trying to work out if you having a go is due to your anxiety or how you really feel. Does that make sense?

It depends on the intent. It's easy to take such comments personally, but he may have just been trying to ascertain whether the argument was a "legitimate" one or whether something potentially being fuelled by being off your medication.

My dad can be an argumentative arse when he's off his meds (even if he misses just one) so I can see how your husband may have felt it was a valid question, rather than an attack.

It’s a bit like “time of the month is it?”

Designed to make you stop and question whether you’re actually unreasonable to be annoyed. Generally my DP is weeks out when he tries that one and it just makes him look like a twat, but I still end up questioning myself. It’s a shitty technique to deflect blame onto you by making you feel like you’re missing something.

Total dick move, I couldn’t be with someone who said that to me it is beyond hurtful.

He's using your anxiety to win an argument. What a guy.

Unless you've accepted in the past that your anxiety has affected your behaviour within your relationship negatively?

But to be honest, if you feel hurt, you feel hurt. He's either hurt you on purpose, or has no idea how you feel. You need to enlighten him. His response to you trying to have a serious conversation about this will tell you all you need to know.