Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you enjoy having teenagers

106 replies

Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:36

I don't at the moment, they stay up all night & literally would lie in bed all day long, I get annoyed by lunchtime so wake them, until then try to enjoy the morning to myself.
They seem ungrateful and rude sometimes and eat all the food....
Does it get better as doesnt feel like its very enjoyable stage of parenting at all !!!!

Other teen parents, please share your views ......

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 29/06/2020 16:38

Love it, she moved out a year agoGrin

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:39

You know, sometimes makes you wonder why have kids :(

OP posts:
WhiteC0sm05 · 29/06/2020 16:41

No

Fairyliz · 29/06/2020 16:42

No it’s shit and by the time they move out you are too old and knackered to do anything. Then job losses / coronavirus hit and they move back home in their 20’s and revert to teenagers.
Tbh I wouldn’t mind a dose of coronavirus and long as it kills me off quickly.
(Thanks for letting me get that off my chest op, off for a drink now)

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:43

Thank god it isnt just me then, its all a scam having kids , its all great till they hit 13.............................

OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 29/06/2020 16:44

I’ve really enjoyed having mine at home tbh - they go to bed at a sensible time (10pm) so I get a couple of hours to myself in the evenings, they do their school work and internet stuff all day, we all eat together in the evening and go for a walk a couple of times a week - was every day but we all got a bit bored of the same routes!

I’ve gone onto a one-stop strategy, which is to say I make them dinner but they have to sort their own lunch and breakfast and empty/load the dishwasher while they’re at it.

They will occasionally make me a cup of tea and bring it into my office for me, have popped out with friends occasionally, but mainly we’re all just rubbing along together quite peacefully.

I know I’m lucky but I have also set expectations from the start that they were not spending all day in bed. I think those parents who let that happen for the first couple of weeks have found it harder to rein in!

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:44

Actually 13 was ok, its after 15 it really gets bad....

OP posts:
Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:45

How on earth do you get teens to bed at 10pm?!!

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 29/06/2020 16:47

My DD was a horrendous teen.
She turned 16 and just changed over night.
We have a lovely relationship now.
She wasn't one to lie in bed all day and up all night though.
She just mixed with the wrong people at school at out of school.
Thank god that all stopped.
I lost my shit a lot!

2pinkginsplease · 29/06/2020 16:48

I love the fact that dh I I don’t need baby sitters anymore, if we want weekend away or a night out we just go as they look after themselves. Both can be great company , dd is more sociable and we’ve just watched a movie today where as ds prefers being on his computer chatting to his friends

Yeah they both sleep till lunch and eating all the food and make too much noise but that’s what teenagers do. I pick my battles.

SluggishSnail · 29/06/2020 16:48

My teens (14, 17 and nearly 19) are OK, I find them good company and fun.
They don't argue much, with me or with each other, and are good at sharing the Pringles and the chocolate Digestives.
One of them is nocturnal though, one wears skirts so short you can see her underwear, and one has grown a hideous lockdown beard, so I'm not claiming they're perfect :)

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:50

Ha ha I have one who has slightly too much facial hair atm for my liking and one who's hair is blue, then red, then green.

Aghhh some days are good but finding it stressful atm ................

OP posts:
Nosuchluck · 29/06/2020 16:51

My youngest has just turned 20, so no more teenagers for me. I enjoyed the teen years, I found it quite easy as a parent. The worse thing was the stress the teens themselves have.
I enjoyed doing things like cinema and meals out with my teens and having adult conversations.

Hyperion100 · 29/06/2020 16:51

I dont have kids but my next door neighbour has a spread of 3 kids from 10 to 20 and every member of the family appears to hate each other.

They do nothing but argue, the boys are constantly and noisily hoiking phlegm up in the garden, the parents get no thanks for anything...at all, ever, the dad is purely a cash cow, the mum is a taxi service, the kids swear "at" their parents (I once swore in front of my mum and my mouth was washed out with soap - never swore in front of her ever again!), the youngest called her brother a c**t not 10 minutes ago.

Not for me thanks!

FudgeBrownie2019 · 29/06/2020 16:51

Yes. DS14 was a bit of a dickhead for a while at 13, always mouthing off and filled with angst, thinking he had to battle us. Lockdown has somehow rounded off the edges and he's lovely - he still enjoys his own company and our time together is limited, but the time we do get is great - we've had chats while we've been in lockdown I think we'd have never had without the enforced time together and he's matured while we've been watching. I've enjoyed his company more than I'd have imagined.

DH is having a hard time with DS14 because he's no longer in that 'child' phase - I've reached the point where I tend to let DS learn from his own actions rather than control what he does, DH speaks to him like he's 9 at times and needs to almost catch up to the fact that we have a teenager who is beginning to separate from us and prepare for adulthood. I think DH would say he's not keen on having a teen, and would much prefer him to stay young.

However, I fully anticipate that he'll return to school in September, turn 15 and become a knob again. It can turn on a sixpence and probably always will til he's an adult. So as much as he's lovely now, I try never to be smug about it because it's all completely random.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/06/2020 16:53

I loved the teen years. Both of mine were great and it was so fun to be able to watch them mature and talk about adult subjects. I always enjoyed hearing their points of view.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 29/06/2020 16:53

I love the fact that dh I I don’t need baby sitters anymore, if we want weekend away or a night out we just go as they look after themselves

Yes! DH and I had a couple of nights out before lockdown where we left DS14 in charge and it was lovely. He's grown up, sensible and a great kid aside from his armpits, and it was like a revelation realising we didn't have to ask Grandparents!

Hyperion100 · 29/06/2020 16:54

Oooh...I forgot the constant weed smoking and litter of laughing gas bottles in their garden whenever they have their horrible friends over.

The parents have clearly just given up. Shame, as they are really nice people.

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:57

No babysitters and not getting up early or entertain kids is a big plus but it feels not much comes back at this stage. I do have some interesting conversations some days, and i have had a few nice outings with the teens individually sometimes in the lockdown to be fair.

The sleeping in half the day does bother me, I dont know why!

OP posts:
Rumtopf · 29/06/2020 16:57

Dd is 18 in October so it's easy. She's generally got a good work ethic, I'm not having to nag her to do college work, she gets up at 7:30 most days and heads up to her room by 9ish as she doesn't want to watch the same things we like. She even cooked dinner (made a salad and threw some trays of sweet chilli chicken in the oven) last night which is amazing.
Not trying to be smug, she was going through some awful stuff in yr10 and 11 and was a bloody nightmare because of it. We're lucky she's come out the other side and is now lovely to be around most of the time.

Deadringer · 29/06/2020 16:57

I love my teens. I am a night owl myself and i lie in too when i can, suits me much better than being dragged up at the crack of dawn by little ones.

BeautifulCrazy · 29/06/2020 16:58

I do, but I think I have very easy kids.

They do stay up late and then get up late but that doesn’t bother me. I used to do it myself when I was that age. Why do you get annoyed?
Mine eat a lot but that’s normal and doesn’t annoy me. They do clean up after themselves and aren’t rude though. I wouldn’t stand for that.
They’re good company and we all like being around each other.

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 16:58

And the adapting from child to 'on the way' to adult is the hardest, as someone else said its hard to adjust yourself and not see them as a child, cant control them or influence anymore....

OP posts:
jamaisjedors · 29/06/2020 16:58

I am actually really enjoying having teenagers.

So much less tiring physically than the baby/toddler phases.

And you can pop out to the shops or to meet friends and leave them to it, freedom!

My two (13 & nearly 16) do sometimes stay in pyjamas all day but mostly I enjoy their company and chatting to them.

One thing I don't like is the endless gamer videos on TV, but then again, IN the Night Garden wasn't any less irritating.

At the moment they have the run of the TV before dinner then I get an hour or so after dinner so no clashes.

Original poster
Busymum45 · 29/06/2020 17:00

Mine are still in pjs now and have seen them once today, I guess it boils down to maybe missing their company more sometimes, but, I wouldnt want to go back to 6am starts and watching Cbeebies!

OP posts: