Do you enjoy having teenagers

[Busymum45]

I don't at the moment, they stay up all night & literally would lie in bed all day long, I get annoyed by lunchtime so wake them, until then try to enjoy the morning to myself.
They seem ungrateful and rude sometimes and eat all the food....
Does it get better as doesnt feel like its very enjoyable stage of parenting at all !!!!

Other teen parents, please share your views ......

I love my teens - love hearing them on their phones laughing and chattering rubbish.

You have to remember that teens are not adults, even though they’re big.... they’re huge toddlers, and that makes sense.

Give them some slack, they are rewiring their brains, and it’s a busy time for them.

It’s not your job to be a friend to them, or for them to be a friend for you - just provide a safe space for them to continue on their journey to adulthood... and that includes a lot of sleep.

Neuroscience is fascinating about teens... apparently they’re not fully functioning adults until they are 24 years old, and they need to sleep a lot

So.. I guess, don’t expect them to behave like adults.

A bit of advice I was given is to get a dog if you want someone to be happy to see you!

Your teens are not here for you, and that’s entirely correct... they have their own lives to figure out in a world you don’t and won’t need to recognise.

Set them household chores and let them do them... and try and see the funny side of them... especially when they wear massive onesies and throw a strop!

“The sleeping in half the day does bother me, I dont know why!”

I just left them to it unless they needed to be up for a reason...

Absolutely loved it.
I have 2 boys and the teen years were the best!.

My Mother would tell you that she had the best teenagers possible (don't mean to brag ). We used to go to bed when we were told, always before 9pm on school nights. We helped with the chores and loved spending time with our Mum.

My DSS is a young teen and he is delightful! Goes to bed when he is told (there is a routine) and likes spending time with us. Had a tiny battle to get him to go for a walk with us at the weekend, but to be fair to him, he just had a little grumble and then got on with it. I much prefer my teen SC to my SC who is under 10; he is so easy to get on with and is so bloody lovely! I have much more battles with the other child!

Mostly I love it! There are times when they can be rude and yes they have practically turned nocturnal but they can be good company! I like it when their friends come over, I’m always the one who draws the short straw and picks them up from parties and becomes the taxi for 4 teenagers but I like knowing they got home safely. Pre-lockdown of course.
I think I’ll miss ds18 when he goes off to uni.

I feel you. I have a 15 year old, also with multi-coloured hair. I barely see her these days though as she never leaves her room.

I say to my parents they sleep in as brains developing etc , they say in their day my dad was working at 15 etc so dont believe it. I think a lot of research has been done.

Maybe the hardest thing Ive realised is I need to adapt from seeing them as children to young adults and need their own space !

Hyperion100

They sound awful. Sorry you have to live next to them.

I loved it . Some of the best years of my life.

On the whole yes, because they are that much closer to growing up and leaving home!

But actually the last few years has been so so so hard, with mental health issues and such. Mine are quite immature compared to their peers, and much as I love them, I'm fearful that they'll not actually grow up enough to be independent.

Teen years have been hard for us parents, no question. Baby and toddler stages were a breeze in comparison.

One goes to bed around 9-9.30 (nearly 15 yrs), and the other around 10-10.30 (nearly 17 yrs(. One is up at 5.00am, the other gets up around 9.00'ish.

They have their moments (if they didn't we'd think they'd been switched at birth, given their mothers' temperament), but on the whole, yes, I/we do enjoy them. We have some great talks, some great laughs, and when the wheels fall off, we can talk about it. I'm so proud of how they've dealt with some of the hands they've been dealt, and how they're dealing with the current situation.

Ok good things:

Love hearing them laughing with friends on the phone
Love having them and friends hanging out at ours when allowed again
Had bonus extra time these last few mths as ds back from Uni and dd not at school
conversations can be interesting
Can sleep all night and not ever get up too early
i do like my own time

I suppose the negative bits are the sleeping most of the day thing and wanting to be in their rooms ALL day but I guess that's normal :)

I like parenting teenagers much better than little people.
I only get annoyed by the lying in bed all day if I'm also doing everything around the house. As long as the chores get done and they join us for meals then everyone is happy

Mine are 19, 17 and 17.

I'm now enjoying it again mostly. Lockdown has been really interesting. DS1 has a beard and has done some work from home and even though he's been at uni (and worked since school) and drives I've had a couple of "OMG he's a proper adult" moments hearing him on the phone making work decision.

Twin teen girls were hell from 14 until recently. They are totally different characters so kindly tag-teamed us. Just as we got through one phase with one the other started. The hardest bit for me was a spell at 15 where they genuinely seemed to despise each other for 3 months. They've always been determined to be "the twins" even though I've always been adamant they are "R & S". I've never done joint presents and for a few years they even had separate parties.

They're now lovely again though. DD1 has been immense while we had SIL's kids here. We have 3 younger kids ourselves to adding another few to the mix while SIL worked in ITU was just chaos. DD opted to muck in far more than she asked and pretty much took on the home schooling plan. She'll be an excellent teacher, I'm convinced of that now.

DD2 has had a tough journey. She has narcolepsy so simply has never been able to be as free with her choices as her sister. She has gone through spells of being really angry and sometimes bitter (that mainifested in nastiness to her siblings). During lockdown she has come into her own. She has been actively involved in a support group for people with narcolepsy and has been chatting with parents of young kids to help them understand the bits that were tough when she was wee and youngsters themselves. She's working on a bit of a guide for teachers to help them have a quick understanding if they get a kid in their class with the condition.

I'm not massively looking forward to it again, we have 3 more to get through, but I'm enjoying them again.

DS17 is pretty much a joy . No problems what so ever apart from a few incident last year with experimenting with Nox canisters. DS11 is turning into a bit of a stropper in a big way, gobby, stroppy and knows everything...if I have 5 years of this I may run away .

No it was awful...I still have some trauma.

I never dreamed my DD would turn on me the way she did. Verbally and one time physically
Now she denies it all but i do have witnesses! So i know I don't exaggerate.

• why are you waking them up? It's one of the only times in life where they don't have to get up because of jobs/kids/studies. What do they need to get up for? I was a nocturnal teen, was just what came naturally.

And yes, they'll stop eating everything soon because either their metabolism will kick in and it will make them gain weight or they'll leave the house.

I wake by 1/2pm as leaving them till 5 seems too long?!

I quite like having teens. Mine are 14, 16 (and we have a 10yo). They have to be chased into bed at night and encouraged up in the morning but they are good company most of the time and helpful if asked to do things. They have their moments, of course but generally lock down has been pretty good for us. As a PP said, I‘m not smug because doubtless DS10 will turn into a proper Kevin in his 13th birthday.

Yes but OP if you wake them at 1/2 they never have the horrible period where they realise they're getting up at 5 every day. Happened to me at uni for about 2 weeks and then I realised I had to sort myself out and start going to bed earlier because I never saw sunlight.

Let them realise their mistakes (even in their sleep patterns) for a bit and it will probably improve

@Busymum45

I say to my parents they sleep in as brains developing etc , they say in their day my dad was working at 15 etc so dont believe it. I think a lot of research has been done.

Maybe the hardest thing Ive realised is I need to adapt from seeing them as children to young adults and need their own space !

There has been a lot of research done:

www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-adolescent-brain-beyond-raging-hormones

I have a DD 18 and a DS20, both at home now. DD is usually up by 6:00 AM, DS by 9:00. Both lovely kids with no particularly arsiness or attitude problems even once they hit their teenage years. DS is on the Dean's list at uni, studying accounting. DD is starting at a very selective and prestigious women's uni this fall, with a generous scholarship grant. They both row crew.

I don't know if this was luck, skill, genetics, or some combination thereof.

Mine is 16 and she’s our only DC. She’s utterly brilliant and very sociable. Heavily involved in her youth church group, Guides and Brownies.
She can be lazy and put things off but that said she’s in the kitchen chopping veg as I type.
She was wanting to join the Navy this year, but now plans to do online courses and volunteer work for two years and then join up.
She takes after my wonderful MIL, I see and hear my DD in lots of what MIL does, she’s been a huge influence on our daughter.
I think we’ve been very, very lucky.

Mostly loving it, but I do feel very fortunate that we seem to have gone through the worst teenage tantrums before lockdown. We have had a few very challenging years with one of ours, but we've all managed to settle into our own routines through lockdown, working in the day, spending time in the evenings - more so than previously as most spare time was taken up with other stuff. Highlights have been dinners in the garden in the sunshine, the opportunity to spend time talking properly, board game and poker evenings, lots of sharing play lists. Lucky timing I think, I do feel grateful, especially with university looming

Yes, I'm on my fifth and last teen and they have all been mostly great most of the time. If nothing else whatever happens you can assume it will pass and later on you get to laugh at some of the antics. So it's only recently Ds, 31, told me what happened to the Sky remote control that disappeared never to be seen again. Apparently he and his friends would borrow one and then sneak into people's gardens and turn their TVs onto porn stations and watch the ensuing uproar. On the evening it was my remote control the householder chased them and the remote control was dropped and ds didn't dare go back and ask for it.

I love having teenagers though my eldest turns 20 soon. If there is no school, why do you care what time they get up? Just enjoy the peace.