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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think about taking a job

28 replies

Persiaclementine · 29/06/2020 14:49

Got offered senior role to my current job role today, trouble is I'm pregnant and wasnt planning on going back as I wouldnt have been able to aford childcare (all my wages would have been spent on child care.) I have a partner so wouldnt be relying on benefits, and we were planning on relocating to be able to afford a more comfortable life style with me out of work. Anyway job offered is double what I'm currently on and childcare would take about half my wages, so doable. Basically my AIBU to accept job offer and get my 1 year old in childcare? Or AIBU to not accept job offer? Confused.

OP posts:

Original poster

Persiaclementine · 29/06/2020 14:51

Yabu = take job
Yanbu = dont take job

OP posts:

WannabeJolie · 29/06/2020 14:56

Is this your first DC? I’d probably keep my job options open at the moment and take the job. If you go off on maternity leave you might be desperate to go back or you might not. But at least you’d have options. Is the job one you’d want? On a more negative note you might find your relationships changes after having a baby and you might want to ensure you’re earning.

Original poster

Persiaclementine · 29/06/2020 15:09

Im pregnant with my second child. If I wasnt pregnant I'd have bitten their hand off my child is school aged. It's a great job, more stressful than my current job but I will be getting term times off ect so a good work life balance, I think I know I want to take it, it's just I havent worked with a young baby before, I dont want to regret taking it and missing out on the baby but equally I dont want to loose an opportunity to keep a job that fits around family life ect. With better prospects for our future.

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maddening · 29/06/2020 15:17

Take it Imo, your reason was childcare costs which is no longer an issue.

What is the salary jump though?

bestbrowsintown · 29/06/2020 15:21

I think you'd be mad not to take it

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 29/06/2020 15:25

take it - gives you options
& if you do take the option not to return, you'll have evidenced the promotion on your CV.
& your maternity leave will be paid based on the higher salary (depending on when it starts).

Original poster

Persiaclementine · 29/06/2020 15:33

I will take home roughly what I'm taking home now, when I've payed child care, until I get the free childcare when baby is 3 so only two years but, then I get to still have a job, and not have to get one that might possibly be worse, weekend working ect. I think I need to take it dont I.

OP posts:

lanthanum · 29/06/2020 15:35

Take it and decide later, I think. You've not had to weigh up the pros and cons of going back until now, as finance made the decision for you. You need time to think about it. If you decide not to go back, you're in no worse a position than if you hadn't taken it, and you'll have earned a bit more in the meantime. You might also consider the option of going back part-time after maternity leave.

Wallywobbles · 29/06/2020 15:44

Mad not to take it. It's not 1/2 your wages they're your husbands kids too.

Original poster

Persiaclementine · 30/06/2020 11:02

Thanks all. I've just had two emails from the only two close nurserys to me and it's going to be all my wages probably more. Such a difficult decision.

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CMOTDibbler · 30/06/2020 11:09

I'd take it. With a recession looming, having a good job can't be underestimated

WhereamI88 · 30/06/2020 11:12

Only 50% of those fees are your responsibility, the other 50% is your partner's. And you are thinking very short term. You need to think about pension contributions and career progression as well, think about your financial position in 5-10 years not just the next 2 years. Please don't shoot yourself in the foot.

Original poster

Persiaclementine · 30/06/2020 11:32

Yes I think your probably right. It is about the future after all.

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mindutopia · 30/06/2020 11:36

I would absolutely take it. If you decide after your mat leave that you want to be at SAHP, then you can still do that. But there is no reason not to make more money rather than less.

And it's an investment in your future. Pension contributions, etc. When I went back after my first mat leave, my salary only just covered nursery. 6 years later, my salary is about 3 times that. It was very worth banking that time and experience, particularly with small dc who aren't yet in school (it gets much harder when they are school age and days are shorter).

Bloops · 30/06/2020 11:37

I'd take it.

amusedbush · 30/06/2020 11:41

Absolutely take it. The childcare costs are only for a few years and once they’re in nursery and then school you’ll get more and more of that money to keep as costs reduce. If you don’t go back your CV will stagnate and it may be difficult to get back onto the ladder.

It’s a no brainer for me!

BiddyPop · 30/06/2020 11:54

Definitely take it.

Look at nurseries near work as well as near home - I had DD in creche near work until she went to primary school and that was useful as she travelled with me/DH, we could get to her faster if there were issues (a few times of coming down with bugs during the day etc over the 4.5 years), and she was with us if traffic gridlocked etc rather than us stressing about being stuck and not getting there.

But you still remain a person in your own right after birth, I know I really appreciated being back in the office as me, not just "a mammy" minding DD - as anything to do with DD I was just "mum" and not "BiddyPop", basically felt like a servant to her needs in general and with anyone else like Doctor, Dentist, nurse, etc....

And it also gives you continuity of income, payment into pension for longer term, and security in longer term also in case relationship changes for the worse or breaks down (not necessarily going to happen but if you are only DPs and not DH/DW, then that is a significant consideration).

2toe · 30/06/2020 12:06

I would take it, childcare costs are only for a short time, the job will give long term financial stability. I also would never advise giving up financial independence, especially if you aren’t married.

Fatted · 30/06/2020 12:18

Take it OP. How far along are you in your pregnancy? If it's early, then realistically you have the entire pregnancy and then your entire mat leave to decide what you want to do. A lot can change in that time.

The worst that will happen is you leave as planned. Don't worry about putting them in a difficult position, they wouldn't think twice about doing the same to you.

Ticketyboop · 30/06/2020 12:21

I too was promoted during my maternity leave and it's a great achievement. I truly recommend taking the promotion, as this will be a huge step forward for your CV and future career - even if you do the job for a short time and then move. Child care costs should be shared by both you and your partner, so don't look at your salary only when calculating costs.

Ticketyboop · 30/06/2020 12:23

As an example, if you're an officer and are being promoted to manager - you are more likely to get future jobs at managerial level with that on your CV.

DressingGownofDoom · 30/06/2020 12:26

I'd take it. The higher up you are in an organisation the easier you'll find it to work from home, work flexibly and so on.

altiara · 30/06/2020 12:32

Take it. Even if the money is tight. If you get pay rises as a % in a few years time it will be really noticeable. Compare that to finding a job when baby 2 is at school and you haven’t worked for several years and you never had the management experience.
It will be hard, but by staying with the same company, you might also be able to work part time or more flexibly as they already know you.

WildfirePonie · 30/06/2020 12:34

Does your DP work? If yes then why aren't his wages going towards nursery?
I think you should go for it and check other nurseries.

Original poster

Persiaclementine · 30/06/2020 13:54

Just to answer some questions in 20 weeks so got a fair bit of time yet however my bosses need an answer by the end of the week realy. It is a managerial role, so a massive step up in regards to future job hunting ect. My partner does work, of course he will be paying for everything else, hes happy for me to take the job as he was also happy for me to be a stay at home parent and he cover the cost of everything. I think I'm going to take it. I would be absoultly stupid not to wouldnt I.

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