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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have had one small glass of champagne last night (26w pregnant)

373 replies

bluemoon2468 · 28/06/2020 11:36

Basically, what I'm trying to establish is how many mums can actually say they didn't have a sip of alcohol during their entire pregnancy?

Last night I celebrated a friend's birthday with a very small glass of champagne, just less than half of a standard size champagne flute. This was my first drink since a couple of weeks before I conceived, aside from a few very occasional sips of other people's drinks here and there (e.g. tasting a cocktail DH made a few weeks ago with a small sip). I have no particular plans to drink again whilst pregnant, but I won't rule out another small drink at some point before I give birth if I fancy it.

I'm pretty comfortable with my decision, but am just wondering whether in reality most mothers engage in the occasional drink in pregnancy or stay strictly tee total?

OP posts:
PicaK · 28/06/2020 21:09

The alcohol passes through your blood to the baby. It will always have an effect - you just don't know what.
I didn't know this when I was pregnant so I drank the odd teeny tiny glass throughout. I was ignorant and I regret every sip now because I was taking a risk without knowing it.
It's up to the individual choice - but the "have a bit of alcohol it has NO effect" brigade are peddling a lie. If you are going to take a risk at least admit to it.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/06/2020 21:15

@lesleyw1953

FAS isn't always related to the amount of alcohol consumed. We were taught that there is no such thing as a safe amount. Why take the risk?
By whom?
Mollymalone123 · 28/06/2020 21:24

I was told by my dr years ago to drink a pint of Guinness every night to help with my anaemia- had to do that for a few weeks too- no harm came to anyone and DD born healthy and is an academically bright 32 year old.Lots of mums were told to do this.Nit saying I would do it now as there are better ways to get your iron intake- there is nothing wrong with the odd glass of low alcohol wine

Namesgonenow · 28/06/2020 21:42

I really urgently need evidence that -

  1. Driving my baby in a car is 100% safe 100% of the time.
  1. That the fertilisers in the carrots or the hormones in dairy products are 100% guaranteed to not stimulate cancers in her ever. At all.

I’ve looked everywhere and nowhere is the evidence saying it’s 100% risk free 100% of the time. Best they say is “unlikely to” or “percentage risks”.

But my baby is so precious. Why would I knowingly take this risk - however sMall it may be - when nobody can guarantee me 100%.

See how Fucking ridiculous that sounds?

yellowsunset · 28/06/2020 21:52

@Namesgonenow

I really urgently need evidence that -
  1. Driving my baby in a car is 100% safe 100% of the time.
  1. That the fertilisers in the carrots or the hormones in dairy products are 100% guaranteed to not stimulate cancers in her ever. At all.

I’ve looked everywhere and nowhere is the evidence saying it’s 100% risk free 100% of the time. Best they say is “unlikely to” or “percentage risks”.

But my baby is so precious. Why would I knowingly take this risk - however sMall it may be - when nobody can guarantee me 100%.

See how Fucking ridiculous that sounds?

I guess all that alcohol makes you more aggressive. Calm down. Clearly someone's touched a nerve.
Sheenais · 28/06/2020 21:58

I was pregnant almost 20 years ago and people weren't as judgy as they are now. The advice was a few drinks were not a problem. I was not a big drinker then, but would have a glass of champagne on special occasions. Flying was seen as more risky (and is) but many won't stop that.

TJ17 · 28/06/2020 22:01

@Napqueen1234

Absolutely fine. Ignore the self righteous I never did a single thing out of line blah blah. It’s found to be completely safe.
I'm not self righteous and think it's fine if people chose to have a small glass of alcohol when pregnant - it's entirely up to the individual.

However I don't think you should wrongly give advice such as "it's found to be completely safe". Not sure where you've got this from but NHS website specifically says:

"Experts are still unsure exactly how much – if any – alcohol is completely safe for you to have while you're pregnant, so the safest approach is not to drink at all while you're expecting."

TJ17 · 28/06/2020 22:09

@Namesgonenow

I really urgently need evidence that -
  1. Driving my baby in a car is 100% safe 100% of the time.
  1. That the fertilisers in the carrots or the hormones in dairy products are 100% guaranteed to not stimulate cancers in her ever. At all.

I’ve looked everywhere and nowhere is the evidence saying it’s 100% risk free 100% of the time. Best they say is “unlikely to” or “percentage risks”.

But my baby is so precious. Why would I knowingly take this risk - however sMall it may be - when nobody can guarantee me 100%.

See how Fucking ridiculous that sounds?

That's a bit like saying because there is a risk to my baby when driving a car when pregnant, I might as well just drink alcohol, take drugs and repeatedly punch myself in the stomach as well 🤷🏼‍♀️ lol doesn't make any sense.

You can't reasonably not drive a car when pregnant but you can easily just not drink for 9 months.

However 1 glass is unlikely to cause any harm and I'm all for live and let live! It's up to each individual what they want to take risks on in life and what they don't

ishouldgoandtryabitmoredaily · 28/06/2020 22:11

Well it would usually say on the bottle not to drink when pregnant. I can't get worked up about it as it's your choice. Did I .. nope not in any of my pregnancy's.

Livpool · 28/06/2020 22:14

I didn't have a drink when pregnant. And I love a drink generally

CheesePleaseLoueese · 28/06/2020 22:15

I've definitely had more than a single glass of champers during my pregnancy OP..

I've done my research, I haven't drink a lot in pregnancy by any measure, but I have a little bit here and there.

It's personal risk assessment.

I wouldn't judge anyone for their choices (assuming they're within the bounds of reasonableness) and couldn't give a fig for what others feel. As long as they're happy with their choices they can crack on.

I'd be prepared to say of the above, publicly, too! Anonymity on a forum doesn't make a difference to me!

Livpool · 28/06/2020 22:15

Not judging btw - I just know I would want another

saltycat · 28/06/2020 22:16

Women with wombs (am I allowed to say that anymore) have to do all the work anyway pre and post birth that is the reality.

I had a few glasses of wine and my now BIG BABY is fine as is mother also. Dad could do what he wished though. Think about that. Women are punished whatever they do.

I hate this demonisation of women for having one or two glasses of whatever over nine months. Some women hate women really.

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 28/06/2020 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

totallyyesno · 28/06/2020 22:20

I got married while pregnant and had a couple of glasses of champagne. That wasn't even against the guidelines then.

NotJust3SmallWords · 28/06/2020 22:26

I can't comment yet from my own experience, but my mum has four children and I know she wasn't teetotal during any of her pregnancies. So I'm sure a half glass won't be the end of the world...

TinyTornado · 28/06/2020 22:26

I had an odd glass here and there, but not a lot and not often.
The reason that alcohol isn’t advised at all in pregnancy is that there is no known safe limit, and alcoholic mothers can birth children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Obviously it is not ethical to test for what limit would be safe. Therefore the medical advice has to be don’t drink at all.
Having said that, there is absolutely no evidence at all to suggest that an occasional drink in moderation does any harm whatsoever. Mother’s in the past were advised to drink a pint of Guinness to ‘keep iron levels up’ and plenty of people have drink before knowing they were pregnant.

StylishMummy · 28/06/2020 22:51

Had a glass of wine with meals multiple while pregnant with both DC. No concerns from obstetric consultant

pinkglove75318 · 28/06/2020 22:57

I didn't. I was horrendously sick throughout, so never had any craving for it.

No judgement from me to those who have an occasional small glass - just was the last thing I fancied in pregnancy.

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 28/06/2020 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bluemoon2468 · 29/06/2020 09:55

@tootiredtothinkofanewname I agree that the 'why bother' comments seem odd to me! I enjoy the taste of wine and some other alcoholic drinks. I never really drink to get drunk - in fact I hate the feeling of being drunk! I've always been someone who will happily have one glass of wine at a friend's house or the pub and call it a night at that, so having only one small glass of something in pregnancy isn't really a big restriction for me, and it's not a challenge to say no to more. I agree that if you feel having one would just make it too difficult for you to stop then you absolutely shouldn't drink anything in pregnancy!

OP posts:
Heidi1976 · 29/06/2020 10:30

I had the odd drink whilst pregnant. I tried to make 'sensible' choices ie - glass of red (good for the heart!) and guinness rather than beer or lager (iron) but unless you are getting hammered and binge drinking the risk to your baby is less than like a poster said above - getting in a car. Don't worry and certainly don't feel guilty!

BlingLoving · 29/06/2020 10:36

I do tend to agree that people who think the unknown, and most likely extremely low, risk from small amounts of alcohol in pregnancy are weirdly hysterical considering they don't usually take the same approach to ALL risks. Although I appreciate they see it as different - you may not have a choice about using a car to live your life but you do have a choice regarding drinking.

But the overall policing of women when pregnant really annoys me. The endless headlines... my favourite was one about women's stress in pregnancy causing long term problems for the baby. I am a mother. I love my children. I wanted those pregnancies but I don't believe it's selfish that I also feel strongly that I shouldn't have to subjugate myself completely for my children, whether they're in my womb or not.

Quite frankly, I hated being pregnant. And this is at least partly why.

Jockjockjock · 29/06/2020 10:40

I had about 4 sips of fizz at DSibs wedding for toast, and that was about it, but that's because I really didn't fancy drinking at all. Not because of some high. moral ground.

anotherwayout · 29/06/2020 10:42

A lot of people just don't understand the science, and it doesn't help the NHS guidelines someone refers to above are frankly ridiculous.

Of course experts don't know exactly how much alcohol is safe. We don't know how much paracetamol is safe, or caffeine, or antihistamines, or anything else that pregnant women are advised they can take in limited amounts.

And of course it's not ethical to test on pregnant women, nothing is tested on pregnant women! Yet there's plenty of things that we all happily eat/drink/take without saying it might not be safe because it hasn't specifically been tested on pregnant women. So why is there no medical advice telling us to avoid these things completely?

But there is plenty of epidemiological data on the safety of lots of these things, and similar data exists for alcohol consumption which shows that there is absolutely no evidence that very limited alcohol consumption comes with any risk whatsoever.