DH won't go to dc birthday

[Feellikedancingyeah]

Having a small get together for DS tomorrow. Immediate family only, in the garden. DS really looking forward to it as he's been no where since lockdown started. I've obviously already bought all the food etc. He has just told me he can't go ! His mum's house is empty (in a nursing home permanently) and when he went there this morning he could see that someone had tried to break the locked gate. He insists on fitting a light tomorrow or he won't be able to stop worrying about it. (his words). Am I being unreasonable to be upset and disappointed?
Or just carry on without him and not show any emotion about it?

What's his attitude to the party been before this?

It seems like a bullshit excuse, has it actually come out of the blue or has he been reluctant to commit to the party all along?

What's her name ?

The OW not his mother.

This stinks to high heavens.

Yep, I’d think affair too

Is he the biological father of dc?

He has shown how much of a priority his son is. What a man....

This is just so weird. What has he said when you've challenged him?

6th time lucky maybe.... Is he your son's father?

Hmmm, potential reasons;

Concerns over Covid-19 and social distancing

He doesn't like someone who is going to be there

Problems in his relationship with your DS

A true Anxiety Disorder

He's having an affair

You've all been in lockdown since forever and he's craving the 'alone time'

He's just an arsehole

Take your pick.

Lots of people sticking the boot in here.

I hate social gatherings, even with my own family and just do not go now. They fill me with anxiety and dread. My Mum takes my children to any birthdays or Christmas meet ups.

Has anybody thought that maybe DH is depressed and cannot handle seeing all the family and would rather change a light bulb than be at his own sons birthday.

Because I would if it were my child and all of her Dads family and I had to stand around in a mask all day.

Sometimes you just cannot do it.

I think spouting OW is just cruel, I think anybody with an ounce of sense or experience would look deeper in to why he cannot handle a social situation with the in laws right now.

How selfish! I hope he has a better reason to give his son than that piece of tripe

Sounds like a fishy excuse to me, would he be going somewhere else?

What happened in the end OP?

@iano no one wore a mask. We were in the garden and sensible about distancing.
He arrived just as we were leaving.
No one was offended and our son didn't miss him

Your last line speaks volumes

I also think your last line is really sad. Have you spoken to him about this?
Please do! Your boy deserves better.