DH won't go to dc birthday

[Feellikedancingyeah]

Having a small get together for DS tomorrow. Immediate family only, in the garden. DS really looking forward to it as he's been no where since lockdown started. I've obviously already bought all the food etc. He has just told me he can't go ! His mum's house is empty (in a nursing home permanently) and when he went there this morning he could see that someone had tried to break the locked gate. He insists on fitting a light tomorrow or he won't be able to stop worrying about it. (his words). Am I being unreasonable to be upset and disappointed?
Or just carry on without him and not show any emotion about it?

[iano]

I also think your last line is really sad. Have you spoken to him about this?
Please do! Your boy deserves better.

[HowLongCanICallitBabyWeight]

Your last line speaks volumes

[Feellikedancingyeah]

@iano no one wore a mask. We were in the garden and sensible about distancing.
He arrived just as we were leaving.
No one was offended and our son didn't miss him

[iano]

What happened in the end OP?

[Andwoooshtheyweregone]

Sounds like a fishy excuse to me, would he be going somewhere else?

[NinkiNonkiNikau]

How selfish! I hope he has a better reason to give his son than that piece of tripe

[cheesemongery]

Lots of people sticking the boot in here.

I hate social gatherings, even with my own family and just do not go now. They fill me with anxiety and dread. My Mum takes my children to any birthdays or Christmas meet ups.

Has anybody thought that maybe DH is depressed and cannot handle seeing all the family and would rather change a light bulb than be at his own sons birthday.

Because I would if it were my child and all of her Dads family and I had to stand around in a mask all day.

Sometimes you just cannot do it.

I think spouting OW is just cruel, I think anybody with an ounce of sense or experience would look deeper in to why he cannot handle a social situation with the in laws right now.

[AcrossthePond55]

Hmmm, potential reasons;

Concerns over Covid-19 and social distancing

He doesn't like someone who is going to be there

Problems in his relationship with your DS

A true Anxiety Disorder

He's having an affair

You've all been in lockdown since forever and he's craving the 'alone time'

He's just an arsehole


Take your pick.

[CrazyTimesAreOccurring]

6th time lucky maybe.... Is he your son's father?

[Hileni]

This is just so weird. What has he said when you've challenged him?

[ToBBQorNotToBBQ]

He has shown how much of a priority his son is. What a man....

[TypingError]

Is he the biological father of dc?

[Nixen]

Yep, I’d think affair too

[DoorstoManual]

What's her name ?

The OW not his mother.

This stinks to high heavens.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

What's his attitude to the party been before this?

It seems like a bullshit excuse, has it actually come out of the blue or has he been reluctant to commit to the party all along?

[1WildTeaParty]

Perhaps you should all offer to go with him and help him fix the light... before all returning for the party. I wonder how he'll feel about this.

[Lilymossflower]

Very odd very strange very suspicious

[Splitsunrise]

Either he really can't be fucked with family life, doesn't care about your and DS's happiness, doesn't want to see someone coming, or has somewhere else he wants/needs to be......

[Crunchymum]

Is he is DC dad?

[Namechange8471]

Is it his biological son op?

[Itwasnoaccident9786756453]

Well clearly, it's not about the light bulb.

[Starlightstarbright1]

What do you think is behind it op?

[ChicCroissant]

Did your DH want the party or not, OP?

[Llamazoom]

Is there anybody invited that your DH may want to avoid? I’d be all over this, he’s avoiding the get together for a reason.

[Feellikedancingyeah]

dS is really looking forward to it . He loves to see family, especially after so long.