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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH won't go to dc birthday

65 replies

Feellikedancingyeah · 27/06/2020 22:38

Having a small get together for DS tomorrow. Immediate family only, in the garden. DS really looking forward to it as he's been no where since lockdown started. I've obviously already bought all the food etc. He has just told me he can't go ! His mum's house is empty (in a nursing home permanently) and when he went there this morning he could see that someone had tried to break the locked gate. He insists on fitting a light tomorrow or he won't be able to stop worrying about it. (his words). Am I being unreasonable to be upset and disappointed?
Or just carry on without him and not show any emotion about it?

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 27/06/2020 23:27

@emptyplinth

Sounds odd and a bit of a bullshit excuse. Sorry.
I agree. He's making excuses cos he doesn't want to be there for some reason.
fabulous01 · 27/06/2020 23:34

This isn't about the light. He doesn't want to be there.

calmcoolandcollected · 27/06/2020 23:36

Carry on without him and shoe no emotion. He doesn’t want to be there, probably because your family is.

Flyingagainstreason · 27/06/2020 23:36

That’s one of the more bizarre things I’ve ever read.

Ostensibly; I can’t go to my child’s birthday because I got to change a lightbulb

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/06/2020 23:39

Your son is 14? And he's ditching his son's party to fit a light that doesn't need fitting and could be done before the party, but he's dipping our regardless?

Your husband is a shit father. Your son is plenty old enough to know his father is making excuses and will be hurt by this. And it's not a hurt that will be easily remedied. Why is your husband willing to jeopardise his relationship with his son?

Doodar · 27/06/2020 23:45

Very odd behaviour from your Dh

CustardySergeant · 27/06/2020 23:49

BeKindOrBeQuiet "Be glad he's your ex."

How do you know that?

Leeds2 · 27/06/2020 23:49

Is DH your DS's father? Not that it should really make a difference if you and/or DS want him there.

BeKindOrBeQuiet · 27/06/2020 23:52

@CustardySergeant I guessed with the wording. Maybe I read it wrong. If I was dad in this situation and I was with the op I'd say "I can't come". Op said the dad said "I can't go".

I could be wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Feellikedancingyeah · 27/06/2020 23:54

He is not my ex

OP posts:
lyralalala · 27/06/2020 23:56

@Feellikedancingyeah

He is not my ex
If he's bailing on his child's birthday with a shit excuse perhaps he should be
Puds11 · 27/06/2020 23:57

He’s full of shit. What a disappointment.

ellifjg · 27/06/2020 23:58

At 14 I'm sure your DS won't be that bothered. Mine at that age would only be bothered about seeing their friends, sitting in the garden with parents plus 3 other relatives would be pretty cringy for them.

I honestly don't see the big deal, unless you are not living together presumably his dad is around all the time so will s e him the rest of the day? I probably wouldn't have arranged for the 3 relatives to come round unless your DS had specifically requested it. We've all had birthdays in lockdown and I've just got cake, made us a nice dinner and we've watched a film together. Oh, and on my birthday they humoured me by coming for a walk Smile

BeKindOrBeQuiet · 28/06/2020 00:00

😬 well, I was wrong. I apologise op

LolaDarkdestroyer · 28/06/2020 00:00

This is just strange tbh....it doesn't take a whole day he's def bullshitting.

Original poster
Feellikedancingyeah · 28/06/2020 00:01

dS is really looking forward to it . He loves to see family, especially after so long.

OP posts:
Llamazoom · 28/06/2020 00:04

Is there anybody invited that your DH may want to avoid? I’d be all over this, he’s avoiding the get together for a reason.

ChicCroissant · 28/06/2020 00:13

Did your DH want the party or not, OP?

Starlightstarbright1 · 28/06/2020 00:14

What do you think is behind it op?

Itwasnoaccident9786756453 · 28/06/2020 00:20

Well clearly, it's not about the light bulb.

Namechange8471 · 28/06/2020 00:20

Is it his biological son op?

Crunchymum · 28/06/2020 00:20

Is he is DC dad?

Splitsunrise · 28/06/2020 00:20

Either he really can't be fucked with family life, doesn't care about your and DS's happiness, doesn't want to see someone coming, or has somewhere else he wants/needs to be......

Lilymossflower · 28/06/2020 00:23

Very odd very strange very suspicious

1WildTeaParty · 28/06/2020 00:40

Perhaps you should all offer to go with him and help him fix the light... before all returning for the party. I wonder how he'll feel about this.