To bin off the homeschooling

[Lemons1571]

God I’m probably BU. But bloody hell I've had enough. 14 weeks of working ft, plus trying to fit in twinkl, Oak, Khan etc. Watching my Year 4 get more isolated and sad. Feeing like a loser / outsider when the school send out their weekly newsletter asking Reception to bring in x, y and z and Year 6 to remember their deposit for (insert end of year activity).

Honestly the thought of Monday makes me want to throw things at the wall, and it’s not even Sunday yet! Got a bunch of corrections sent through on last weeks schoolwork which I now have to try and fit in around Skype work calls, deadlines, appraisals. Anyone else just about had it? So tempted to tell child to not worry about it too much and have some screen time.

I don’t need help with coping or with mood or anything like that. I just need to not have two full time jobs.

tomorrow’s another day

Working from home would be a delightful break

Given that you’ve almost certainly never done it on top of childcare and homeschooling (because contracts actually forbade it), you’re hardly in a position to judge.

So, just to clarify, you’re doing all things that I’ve mentioned is in my daily routine and responsibilities AND you’re working full time as well?

You seem intent on believing that your difficulties have been insurmountable to providing an appropriate education, can you tell me what they are?

No, PinkyU. I"m not doing everything you're doing, and I've already said that DD is doing fine on one narrow definition of education (though not as well as she would with actual teachers rather than her parents, because she doesn't have the motivation to work in the same way). Her mental health is another thing, because it's not enough for her to be at home with just us: she needs other kids. We could have sent her in as a keyworker child, but because DH is at home we didn't.

But amazingly enough I have an imagination and can realise it's going to be incredibly hard for other people who don't have our good fortune, and that not everyone will have been able to keep going with educating their kids. (In DD's class, a lot of parents have English as a second or third language, which is going to be quite a barrier, for instance, or the only family laptop is needed for a parent's work.)

And I also see in my team at work that people are exhausted. Really, really exhausted. It's been a horrendous three months for all of them. I can well believe that those with school age children won't have been able to keep going with learning, perhaps in the face of serious resistance.

It must be nice to be so perfect, PinkyU. I hope you have a lovely life.

Well at the risk of being flamed and told I'm a totally ineffectual parent...I'm a sahm. Two dc. One works hard all day at their schoolwork...my other totally refuses. Yes in theory, I could punish, nag, cajole...but my dc is bloody miserable and I don't want to add to that misery right now. So she reads, does crafts and potters around.

Just to clarify she's miserable because she misses her school friends and the social side of school. I cannot recreate that at home.

Does it fucking seem like a have a “lovely life”?!

If it’s so “lovely” feel free to come and switch, I’ll take your 1 kid, sahp and your job (for which you get paid), and you come and get 2-3 hours of broken sleep, endless literal shit and piss to clean and the constant mental load of every fucking thing.

Then when you have all of that, and have been doing it relentlessly, then you listen to parents complain how utterly inconceivable it is to be expected to provide an appropriate education for their ONE neurotypical child whilst (shock horror) working as well.

Yeah, I get it, it’s difficult, consuming and tiring but it’s also your responsibility and to not do it is only affecting them.

(Not all of this is aimed at you personally)

I found the school work actually was a reminder to her of what she was missing so was making her feel worse...hence why I don't push her to do it.

For those where both parents are working full time from home with primary age DC’s, how are you fitting in any schooling?

I’m not full time, but I get a lot of work done between 11pm and 2am when the house is quiet (useful when you need to do recordings). I then do bits of work throughout the day with breaks to nag DD though a worksheet or powerpoint.
I’m a teacher so my work doesn’t have to be done strictly in office hours and I’m used to working late at night.

formerbabe, I know what you mean, especially about the misery. We've kept going with it because the structure is helpful - weekends here are noticeably more difficult than weekdays - and also because there are school entrance exams looming for us. If DD were younger, we might have sacked off everything except the reading.

Pinky your situation sounds really hard, but this isn’t a competition for who has it hardest.

No matter what our situations, we are presumably adult and human enough to appreciate that others face difficulty.

Your choice to study for a degree is a choice, which I’m surprised you take, given the myriad of other challenges you face. It must be very hard, and you must be very motivated.

But Throwing around medical terms and procedures that most parents don’t have to deal with doesn’t mean you somehow qualify for all of the empathy and others should have none. You sound angry at your situation, and I don’t blame you, but your anger is misdirected and your throwing stuff into the conversation like that is pretty childish.

@Parker231

For those where both parents are working full time from home with primary age DC’s, how are you fitting in any schooling?

For the first 6 weeks we worked shifts, one of us starting at 6am for a few hours, then swapping and changing and ending up to 10pm so that one of us could be with the kids, and topping up at weekends. Obviously this requires understanding and flexible employers. Some days it was not possible to do that eg when I was working on a capital raise which required me to work 16 hour days for a week so the kids had to be ignored when DH could not be with them After half term we cracked and we are now paying an 18yo to come 2 hours a day instead.

PinkyU that sounds tough, credit to you.
But please don’t judge parents who aren’t able to give their children an education during this time.

Woweee at some of the comments! It isn’t a competition and I take my hats off to parents working from home and educating. Everyone is stressed because we love our children and want what’s best for them and it must feel like you can’t do that whilst trying to hold down a job from home and give them enough. From what I’ve gathered Maths and English are going to be given overall precedence when they return in September.

Ugh. I’ve really struggled tbh.

Working. Kids. Lone parent (recently widowed). Emotional stresses linked to that for me and the kids. Isolation etc.

School have sent plenty of work which is great. Son is back part time. Both of us were openly and thoroughly shamed by the head teacher for not doing enough work. Son is a year four and has seen his mum trying her best and knows that she may be a bit crap at making him work but he always tells me he knows how much I love him.

I feel like a shit mum tbh. Like I’ve let him down. That the school think I’m a crap mum too. I’m trying my best but I’m one person in a not so brilliant family situation. Feeling like I’m doing a lot of everything but not doing anything very well.

Both of us were openly and thoroughly shamed by the head teacher for not doing enough work.

Sounds like they are in the wrong job. I would actually go and challenge them on that and follow up with governors. Schools need to acknowledge the wider context. He is feeling loved and secure which right now is success. The schools can identify in a positive way who needs extra support and sort that out over the coming years. They need to work with you and support you not alienate you both.

@LolaSkoda. You're not a shit mum. It's impossible to do all this. I mean teachers don't do a separate job whilst simultaneously teaching the children in their class, and then cook the school lunches and keep the school clean too. It's appalling what the government has done to families.

Thanks for your kind words!

It was awful. My son came home crying. He was told that he will be behind. Also when he said he hadn’t done a piece of work because I was in a meeting and didn’t have a chance to help him, he was told that wasn’t good enough!

I get that they’re wanting the kids to get an education and I admire it! But life is very different and difficult for most of us right now. It would be great if they could realise that we don’t want to let our kids down!

@LolaSkoda - the teacher sounds dreadful and in the wrong job. Your job is as a parent and not a school teacher. Your DS knows he is loved - you have done your job, now for the school to do theirs.

My DC’s are older but my colleague as two boys, seven and eight years old. She and her DH are both working full time from home with no free time. Their DC’s are bright and intelligent but haven’t done any school work at home. They are missing their school life and friends. Schools will need to repeat the syllabus from the Easter term onwards.

Schools will need to repeat the syllabus from the Easter term onwards.
No they won't. It doesn't work like that. If they've missed the Romans, then they've missed it (although most schools will have been sending home tasks associated with that topic/those skills or whatever).
Maths and Literacy concepts are regularly repeated and further embedded anyway, starting from where the children are at, so it may be that next year's teacher spends longer revisiting earlier concepts before moving ahead.

My neighbour has been told by her DS’s school that they will pick up where they left off when they were together in the classroom. Although since he’s been back in school the last few weeks they have been covering lots of new topics. He is Yr1.

"Pick up where they left off" is a turn of phrase which means they will assess the gaps and go from there. It does not mean they will "repeat the syllabus."

But, in my school for instance, where decent work has been provided throughout, no child would "need" to repeat coverage, or be "behind" if they had engaged with the tasks set.
Ultimately, it's the parents' decision if they have not persisted in getting their children to keep things ticking over, regardless of the reasons. Some are more valid than others.

I hate the insinuation that if your dc hasn't done the work set they are lazy brats and you're a shit parent. Think how many adults find it hard to motivate themselves when working from home. Now we are expecting children to fully engage and be diligent and motivated to participate in home learning for months and months. On top of this to be told how much fun their classmates are having in school.