AIBU to ask how you will navigate having children in your home from 4 July?

[Sundiamond]

The 'guidance' suggests we can have a child over from 4 July to play inside.

We've not had anyone here at all throughout the whole of lockdown. We've met people out for walks or in parks.

But my DC are very keen to have children over for playdates - which I do totally understand.

So, now we have to start thinking about whether we need any 'rules' or whatever...DH doesn't want to make all the kids self conscious. They all seem pretty good at social distancing when out etc but he wants them to enjoy play.

I feel nervous about it.

Anyway, any suggestions/thoughts on what others are doing is very welcome. Thanks

We won't be. Risk of transmission outside is far lower

The guidance says you can have one other household inside your home but you have to keep the 2m distancing. Risk of transmission si higher inside and even higher with less than 2m distance. If the children will keep to social distancing inside then maybe, but if not then they should stay outside.

We won't it would just be ruined by the 1-2m thing

I wouldn’t do it either - just meet outside ! I’m working at a nursery at the moment and we are super strict with hand washing/ hand sanitiser and on arrival we all change our clothes - we can’t leave the premises for lunch, when I get to my house I’m straight in the shower, clothes into the wash before I go near my husband! I wouldn’t want anyone coming to my house now unless they did the same procedure tbh - shower/clothes change etc - seems too early and unnecessary when you can go outside as it’s summer

We're not worried about social distancing with kids since they mix at nursery etc.

We won't be. I would allow family in if they come by but that is unlikely as they are mostly like me and going to continue keeping distant. The kids friends are a no go for now.

The guidance suggests that we can have children over but only if maintaining social distancing.As that is 100% impossible with kids of our ages, we'll have them in the garden and be open to loo visits, and clean often.

I doubt we'll have kids in. If we did we would navigate it by opening the door and letting them in.

There's no chance really of keeping young kids apart in a house for a play date. We do have a downstairs loo that's only for guests when we have them and I bleach it before they arrive and after. I'd try to encourage them into the garden as much as possible and wipe down controllers if playing video games when they've gone.

We will have SIL DB and DNs to visit, and there will likely be no social distancing with the children, none are back at school/nursery yet, we will be in the garden and will sanitise etc, but DS hasn't seen another child since the beginning of march, we've scrupulously followed the rules to this point, haven't been to packed beaches, DS hasn't even been inside a shop the whole time. I don't think you can make under fives distance

We will do outdoor play dates still. But I probably will let the kids in to go to the loo, grab toys etc. We have the sort of house where you can roam in and out of the garden/house etc but we'll try to be mainly outside.
We've also picked say 4 or 5 families with similar age siblings. All parents wfh or in pretty safe roles. Our kids have been at school in bubbles with them already.

Yes, I get all of this. It's a real dilemma for us. We have a garden and a fairly open space from kitchen but I know the kids will want to go inside...

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

@TheDailyCarbuncle

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

Excellent reply.

If we have to be inside due to the weather, we will put away most toys and have one box of easy to clean plastic toys. We will wipe those down with antibacterial wipes after playdates. We have a downstairs toilet which guests can use and we will try to keep the house as clean as possible (I've been mopping frequently with antibacterial floor cleaner in any case).

We're usually very hospitable with snacks/drinks, but we're considering asking everyone to bring their own snacks and cups. Having said that, I'd find it very hard to give my son a snack if he needed one and not offer one to other children...

It's difficult to see what else we can do. We will try to maintain 1m and will explain it to the children, but we aren't willing to constantly yell at or physically pull very small children apart. We'd rather not do any playdates at all.

I'm totally with @TheDailyCarbuncle. Maybe one in 1500 people have the virus at this point. And they'll mostly know it and not be going out.

Children need company and play for their mental health, are less likely to have or carry the virus, and given that almost every parent is crying out for their children to go to school, I don't quite see the paranoia in having one in your house.

Obviously they think it's different and perfectly acceptable for adults working in schools to take fifteen times the risk, while they as parents take virtually zero, but risk their child's mental health.

I don't understand the angst. Have you thought this through? It is was that contagious, indoors, it would have ripped through schools. Which is hasn't.

Gutted because my pain in the arse fucking SIL will take it as a go ahead to turn up at our door with her kids constantly again and expect me to entertain them while she sits on the sofa moaning about her self inflicted woes.

I'm going to get deadbolts and privacy film over the front of the house before July 4th

@TheDailyCarbuncle

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

I’m with thedailycarbuncle.

There has always been a much higher risk to children from chicken pox, measles etc, all of which could be transmitted on a play date. I didn’t stop my daughter playing with other children because of the risk of them and I Won’t because of COVID either. Mental health is important too.

@Sundiamond

The 'guidance' suggests we can have a child over from 4 July to play inside.

We've not had anyone here at all throughout the whole of lockdown. We've met people out for walks or in parks.

But my DC are very keen to have children over for playdates - which I do totally understand.

So, now we have to start thinking about whether we need any 'rules' or whatever...DH doesn't want to make all the kids self conscious. They all seem pretty good at social distancing when out etc but he wants them to enjoy play.

I feel nervous about it.

Anyway, any suggestions/thoughts on what others are doing is very welcome. Thanks

You don't have to . Just go to the park instead. I always hated play dates though and this would have been perfect excuse not to have them

If there is no-one vulnerable in your household, i think you should not worry too much about it.

And I say this as someone who has struck to the rules pretty meticulously.

I think the risks are far higher for larger groups or gatherings. but a child over for a playdate - no big issue. just make sure they wash hands regularly, as that's good hygiene anyway.

@TheDailyCarbuncle

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

I started to reply but this sums it up so well for me.

No one is coming inside for the foreseeable, Ive has drinks in my garden with a friend but she didn't come inside.
If i didn't have sufficient garden space, I'd meet in the park.

In the normal run of things, keeping children at home for months on end, with no school, no social contact, no activities, not even access to playground would be considered at the very least neglectful, if not abusive. If the parent said they were doing it because of the very very small chance of a very very tiny risk then the parent would be considered to be suffering from a dangerous level of anxiety.

Five children have died of covid. Anywhere between 10 and 25 children die of chicken pox every year. If a parent denied their child social contact on the basis that they were afraid of chicken pox, that would not be considered at all reasonable - in fact it would be considered worrying and in need of intervention.

Yet we're in a situation where being frightened of everything and making children suffer due to it is not only encouraged but mandated and considered morally right. At some point as a parent you have to decide that there isn't a benefit to locking children away and in fact instead of protecting them you're harming them.

I agree with DailyCarbuncle. I started to type a post essentially saying the same thing but then read hers which is far more succinct and eloquent than I would have been!