AIBU to ask how you will navigate having children in your home from 4 July?

[Sundiamond]

The 'guidance' suggests we can have a child over from 4 July to play inside.

We've not had anyone here at all throughout the whole of lockdown. We've met people out for walks or in parks.

But my DC are very keen to have children over for playdates - which I do totally understand.

So, now we have to start thinking about whether we need any 'rules' or whatever...DH doesn't want to make all the kids self conscious. They all seem pretty good at social distancing when out etc but he wants them to enjoy play.

I feel nervous about it.

Anyway, any suggestions/thoughts on what others are doing is very welcome. Thanks

We've had the same 2 children (of close family friends) over for about a month now. These children are back at school.

No social distancing. No CV, no other illnesses, happier children.

Exactly, you have to balance mental health and the need for good relationships and making friends with what is at the moment a relatively small health risk.

Going to Bournemouth beach this week = stupid
Having one child around for a playdate = fine

Agree with TheDailyCarbuncle.

Very sensible reply given the statistical risks involved here.

Lazypuppy and Kaptunkrusty are two sides of the coin. Many people aren't worried because their children are mixing already in school and childcare settings. The adults involved are working so hard to keep it as safe as they can, it's the measures being taken that make it safer, not the mixing being safe.
I'm not rushing into things just because the guidance says we can, they've been so wrong before. Slow and cautious for my household.

I agree with The Daily Carbuncle too.

My dd is back at school and had a playdate this week with someone in her bubble at school. It's so lovely to see her getting back to normal.

Having met my DD from the school she works in this week- whilst I stood outside with parents and other children not in school- I was surprised to see that as soon as the school children came out, all the children were mixing together, despite being kept in separate bubbles all day whilst in school.Literally running up to each other- little ones hugging and playing chase-and the parents were sat together- made a complete mockery of it all.I really wouldn’t worry about a child coming over and would just let them carry on as usual.

If my kids want friends over they can. I won’t expect them to stay apart.

We have already had play dates. Mostly outside, to be fair, but ds went on a sleepover at his best friend’s the other week while dd camped in the garden with her friends. Doesn’t worry me at all.

I’m relaxed about it because Dh is Dutch, so we are in regular communication with Dutch in-laws and nieces/nephews. In Holland, children have been allowed to play with each other without social distancing throughout lockdown, and there have been no out of control infection rates. Quite the opposite.

@TheDailyCarbuncle

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

^ This

Perfectly put.

@TheDailyCarbuncle

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

Yup.

@TheDailyCarbuncle - thank you, that's really helpful/good advice for kids. Out of curiosity, where do you stand on adults mixing? Do you believe social distancing is necessary, for example?

DS is back at school so we’ve had a few play dates now, both hosted and hosting. There has been no social distancing but given school are happy for them to play full contact football at break time, I’m not at all worried. There have been no cases at school, from either teachers or children so my view is the risk is minimal.

So is the current theory that children don't spread the virus to adults?

If DS asks to see friends I think we will suggest meeting in the park. I don't think I want to be responsible for another child right now.

@TheDailyCarbuncle

We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.

I'm in the same camp. I've had one child over to play with mine inside and we've been to the same child's house with my child to play. As adults we naturally sat apart but coffee was made and handed over without any fuss about the virus clinging to the cup.

Over the last few weeks I've been taking both my kids to the shop for bits and pieces. At the beginning I didn't have an issue with keeping them away completely but after 2 months it was beginning to get silly. Made a lot more sense to pop into the shop on the way back from taking one child to school to get milk or something and taken the smallest with me than have to send my husband on the way home from work.

Soon the kids will be off school completely, is it reasonable to keep them apart from society for another 7 weeks? Mine are young, the 2 year old hasn't got a clue about social distancing and I don't think it's reasonable for him to potentially spend 6 months or longer not being able to play with another child of his age.

Of course there are risks, we could catch "the virus" but also any number of things. When my eldest was a baby he ended up in hospital with croup and I know of many kids who have been in hospital because of bronchiolitis or something along those lines. We can't prevent any of us from catching something, we can try our best to minimise it by keeping symptomatic children and adults away from others and keeping up good hygiene.

playdate outside, access to toilet only.

the science hasn't changed but they want the pubs open. Kids are at less risk so they can play together, but keep the visitors out of your house. Learn to work with the weather, maybe buy a gazebo, otherwise put coats on them if it rains.

Mine are a bit old for play dates but I think you would need to make it as normal as possible or meet outside.

It's not fair to have some weird situation where you have them round and keep on at them to stay apart etc. It would be stressful for them.

[quote Sundiamond]@TheDailyCarbuncle - thank you, that's really helpful/good advice for kids. Out of curiosity, where do you stand on adults mixing? Do you believe social distancing is necessary, for example?[/quote]
No I don't believe social distancing is necessary. I think it's sensible at the moment not to be in groups of 50+ given that there is a slightly bigger chance that that will increase spread, but I don't think being in the house with a friend is in any way dangerous. There is a chance they are the one in 1700 who have covid, there is a chance they are infectious, there is a chance they could stand close enough to pass it on, there is a chance I could get it, there is a chance that I'm not one of the 30-70% of infected people who show no symptoms, there's a chance I could have severe symptoms, there's a chance I could end up in hospital, there is chance I could end up in ITU, there is a chance I could die.

There is a much much bigger chance that absolutely nothing will happen. For me it's far more worth it to relax with my friend than it is to avoid one very unlikely thing. If I were to live my life constantly trying to avoid every risk, especially every risk as small as that one, I might as well give up.

As I said re children, at some point everyone will have accept that covid is another illness that's going around. You could do everything 'right' now and still get covid in December or in March 2021. You have to, at some point, get on with it and accept that it's one risk among many.

We are in NI and allowed into each others houses now - no more than 6 at a time but not necessarily the same 6 all the time (no bubble). The difference already it has made to the DC is amazing, they had really been struggling, too young to really use technology to keep in touch but old enough to really miss friends. The weather has been so good that they've mostly been outside, but in to use toilet or grab a drink. I bleach down the bathroom before visitors come, more to reassure visitors than anything, have hand sanitiser in there and they all know to wash hands well. But DH and I are both keyworkers who have worked throughout so I'm maybe further down the line in terms of perception of risk than others who have been at home the whole time.

The downside though is that my house being a total tip from being at home so much is no longer hidden from view! We've friends coming later so i've to clean up properly now

Stick to outside, date change if it rains a lot, umbrellas and coats if not.
Allowed inside for toilet- downstairs loo cleaned before they arrive and after the visit for guest use only, we use upstairs.

People are being incredibly cavalier, I've had Covid (tested) and so have DH and DS, DS was hospitalised. It was horrendous. Make risk assessments absolutely but don't just assume you'll all be fine, if you're not going to distance limit the number of people, sanitise, try and stay outside as much at possible. Despite what's happened to us, I'm not becoming a recluse (worked outside of home other than when ill) or bleaching my shopping, I recognise it's a balance. I've also lost a colleague and another colleague lost her father and uncle (both under 55 with no prior conditions). Just be sensible. I live by the sea and what I've seen on our beaches is far from it.

*We'll be having children over with no social distancing at all.

When human beings mix there is always a chance that they will pass illnesses to each other and there is always a chance that that illness will be serious. That's nothing new and acting like death is a certainty because children have a nice afternoon of playing together is not a sensible or rational way to behave. Denying children normal social contact to prevent one very very small risk, especially when there are hundreds of other much bigger risks out there, doesn't make sense at all.

At some point people are going to have to accept that covid is one of many viruses we're always going to have to contend with. You can do it now or later - the only difference is in how many weeks/months you spend unnecessarily engaging in pointless behaviour.*

This...

People are being incredibly cavalier, I've had Covid (tested) and so have DH and DS, DS was hospitalised. It was horrendous. Make risk assessments absolutely but don't just assume you'll all be fine, if you're not going to distance limit the number of people, sanitise, try and stay outside as much at possible. Despite what's happened to us, I'm not becoming a recluse (worked outside of home other than when ill) or bleaching my shopping, I recognise it's a balance. I've also lost a colleague and another colleague lost her father and uncle (both under 55 with no prior conditions). Just be sensible. I live by the sea and what I've seen on our beaches is far from it.

I agree with your points and I don't think anyone is assuming they will be fine, it is just assessing the level of risk. The level of risk to children and healthy adults is very low. I've known two people hospitalised with chicken pox and one with flu, but it didn't stop me from wanting to socialise.

@StripeyBananas

So is the current theory that children don't spread the virus to adults?

SAGE have reported 23 confirmed outbreaks of Covid in schools since they opened on 1st June, according to an article in The Times. So obviously children are spreading it.