To think saying “please speak English” is no longer acceptable

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I used to say this a lot to my friends if they were mumbling or using slang I didn’t understand. (I would never use it to someone who’s first language wasn’t English!). My parents also used to say it to me when I was saying like all the time or slang terms.

I feel like actually maybe I could be being offensive accidentally (I have ASD so it’s hard for me to gauge) but I wouldn’t want to offend someone by mistake. I’m aware that whilst I wouldn’t say it to a non native speaker I could be overheard and someone might take it personally

This isn’t meant to be goady or racist at all so please delete if anyone feels it is.

Should I stop using this phrase?

YABU - no keep using it
YANBU - stop using it

Ah yes 'banter'....the art of being a cunt and blaming the other person for being offended...

The only people who have ever been offended at mine and my friends 'banter' are the PC police. I.e. people who it isn't directed towards, who aren't even part of the conversation but who overhear it and stick their beak in. What jokes are and aren't funny and acceptable between friends is no ones business except the people the joke involves.

How about 'Could you say that again in words I have a chance of understanding?' or

'Can you explain it to me like I'm 5?' (Reddit reference, gets the point across without making somebody feels awkward about ethnicity, home languages or that it's another person having a go at them for 'gabbling', 'speaking nonsense', not 'spitting it out' or all the other things they've experienced since childhood).

There is nothing offensive in the context you are using it. But if it makes you anxious and concerned there is, just add "plain".

I'd add "non-hipster pretentious bollock" for the slang and "non-nerd" for the engineers myself 😁

I totally get what your saying. We say it to each other in my friendship circle as some of them are English and I’m scottish. They would say ‘speak English’ or ‘English woman English’ and it’s perfectly acceptable in my eyes and we just laugh it off.

@notmynicknames...'ahhh yes the 'pc police' of course. Bingo.

@Destroyedpeople

Well yes, when someone buts into a conversations between my friends an I saying 'you can't say that to him/her' with no idea of context, they are the PC police.

One of my friends is a chef, she's also a woman. We always joke that she needs to 'get back in the kitchen' or 'you belong in the kitchen' because, well, she does. It's a joke between friends but you wouldn't believe the number of nosey arseholes who feel the need to tell us that it's inappropriate or that the men can't say it to her.

Another of my friends is northern whilst the rest of us are southern, we all live in the south now, he is also black. The north south divide is a source of many jokes and debate and who says things right, who has better food ect. When he gets all passionate about how the north is better we joke to him 'go back there if you love it so much'. And again, people who have no idea of the context of the conversation or our friendship and relationships feel the need to butt in with you can't say that' 'that's not very nice' and even 'racists'. We're only joking to him to go back to bloody Manchester.

So yes, they are the PC police. People need to mind their own business.

Oh o

I am sorry I thought it was a discussion. I had no idea I was 'butting in'. I am not talking about jokes between friends. I don't really care for your little anecdotes they are quite beside the point.

in that context "English" is just a stand in for "plain english" so its fine. If you were really worried you could say "plain english" instead but honestly your fine I think. As a side note, someone was saying they wouldn't use "Double dutch anymore". Why??? (Not being combativie genuinely worried if Id missed something).

@Destroyedpeople

Yes it is a discussion. Did I ever say you were butting in? No

I said that the only people ever offended by mine and my friends banter were the PC police. You seemed to doubt that so I went on to explain what I meant by that - I.e. people butting in when they have no ideas of the context, and I have some relevant examples to this.

And my posts are not beside the point. They all go to back up my opinion that the context is what matters really, not what you're actually saying. Almost anything is acceptable in the right context between the right people. That's the nuances of social situations. Therefore it is fine for @OP to say 'please speak English' in the context she describes to people whom she is friends with and get the joke. It however wouldn't be acceptable in other contexts.

It obviously depends who you are saying it to. If your parents have always said to you that’s different you know them for a start.

To say that to a foreign person it would be a bit racist let’s be honest! As Brits we expect everybody to know our language but we don’t often know Spanish and French. It’s really rude and degrading to say “please speak English” it’s implying you are speaking another language.

I think it's about context, isn't it always.

Eg parent in a swimming pool with child on the edge, "Come on jump" - fine.

Someone on a bridge contemplating suicide it would not be fine.

I have often asked students, "And when you write this answer in your GCSE how will you phrase it?"

Because, "The feds use CCTV innit" is understandable to me, but not standard English.

It's a stock phrase in our family. I'm married to a scientist and both DS are scientists. When they explain things I often have to say , "And in English?"

I've occasionally used it outside the home with annoying people who speak jargonese. I also tell people their terms and conditions should be available in English.

Wouldn't use it in a circumstance whee it could be misinterpreted as racist, though.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

‘talk properly’ - I would this incredibly rude. So would many others. "In English please 😂" is a jest ffs. Between friends absolutely fine.

So ‘talk properly’ in jest between friends is rude but ‘in English please’ is fine? You have a strange idea of rude.

I don't have a strange idea of rude. We all have a different idea od rude. It is simple as that. 😁

@sashh I agree. It's context.
"Speak English, mate" fine when laughing with a mate.
"Speak English, mate" not fine when shouted at someone random on a bus speaking another language.

I do think closest is "go home"
"Go home" fine when telling a friend.
"Go home" not fine when told to a random foreigner on a bus

@Gulabjamoon

Almost anything in jest between friends is acceptable. As long as it is actually in jest and all parties are fine with it and find it funny. It's down to each individual groups of friends and even each individual friend to decide what is and isn't acceptable to them.

The part that actually makes you 'friends' is knowing this about each other and, if someone does cross the line, accepting it when your friend says 'actually that was too far', apologising, moving on and or doing it again.

@NotMyNicknames well take it up with @SchrodingersImmigrant who says ‘talk properly’ in jest between friends is wrong. 🤷‍♀️

I didn't say it's wrong. I said I would find it rude.
Big difference.

Semantics but whatever floats your boat @Scro

@Gulabjamoon

Well it's not really is it? It's an exact example of knowing your audience and context.

@SchrodingersImmigrant would find it rude and make that clear to anyone who does know or say it to her, therefore they should not say it again. And she would also not say it to anyone else either.

@NotMyNicknames right and bleating ‘FFS it’s jest’ without knowing other people’s contexts is fine is it?

Whatever.

That "it's a jest" was more of a reaction to the racism connection many, including you, were making there.

This is your post I reacted to: ^Not sure why you wouldn’t just say ‘talk properly’?
It’s particularly common in American movies. The hero/heroine barking ‘Do you SPEAK English?’ at the Hispanic or Indian driver is sadly too common. It’s supposed to be funny fir some reason.
I wouldn’t do it, even to those with English as their mother tongue.^

Again. If we don't want to say "speak English" as a joke to friends because it is used by racists, we also shouldn't be using "go home".

And "speak properly" doesn't work when someone speaks properly, but in jargon🤷🏻

OP, I work with lots of engineers, in 20 years none have found offence at this and it is used in the situation you describe quite a lot.

Personally I don't use it because I am also trying to encourage the engineering profession to deal with its diversity problem and it's not a helpful phrase to make them think English is the order of the day! So I would say something like 'or as our clients the general public would put it...'.

It's fine if in a jokey way and not nasty. Come on, we seriously can't be getting this sensitive over everything. We'll be afraid to fart next.

We'll be afraid to fart next.

I so wanted to say it earlier in a thread but then I remembered threads about how partner farted etc and how disgusted they are😂 I would keep farts arguments off MN😂