To think saying “please speak English” is no longer acceptable

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I used to say this a lot to my friends if they were mumbling or using slang I didn’t understand. (I would never use it to someone who’s first language wasn’t English!). My parents also used to say it to me when I was saying like all the time or slang terms.

I feel like actually maybe I could be being offensive accidentally (I have ASD so it’s hard for me to gauge) but I wouldn’t want to offend someone by mistake. I’m aware that whilst I wouldn’t say it to a non native speaker I could be overheard and someone might take it personally

This isn’t meant to be goady or racist at all so please delete if anyone feels it is.

Should I stop using this phrase?

YABU - no keep using it
YANBU - stop using it

Everyone’s bloody offended at everything these days. There’s no need for you to stop it; continue to use it.

@BooFuckingHoo2

Maybe I am being patronising.

I also use it when some of my engineering friends are explaining something really technical in terms I don’t understand.

In that case you could ask them to explain in 'plain English' which would be fine, and is commonly used in business to try and get people to cut out the jargon and get to the point.

I think these are different things:

If my teen mumbles or talks in slang to me or others I politely ask her to speak clearly and in words other people can understand or I ignore her. How she speaks with her friends is her problem.

When I speak to DH or DD we speak our native language, also in public but only to each other. I would be cross if someone insists on us speaking English as I am not excluding someone from our conversation. When we are with friends or DD's friends are at home I talk English or, if just to DH or DD, I do it quitely and more to the point of "get some more drinks/snacks, bring the rubbish away". Our friends know this.
I am here for 20 years now and never had a random stranger asking me to stop.

One of my friends is a nurse, she often slips into medical jargon and we look at her blank and say "English please for the normal people", she grins and repeats herself. No harm done. The same is when DH talks too much about computer in a technical way, that's his job but not everyone understands it. I think here it is perfectly acceptable to ask people, especially good friends, to "dumb down".

Given there are many people who are hard of hearing / wear hearing aids, I think its discrimination if language isn't enunciated well. It smacks of laziness and lack of consideration.
Considering society is so "woke" these days little consideration is given to those less able.
Clear speech is a kindness.

I’m bilingual and it’s a term I’ve heard many times around my friends, family and even coworkers when someone is tripping over their tongue trying to say something, I’d say it’s inoffensive?
My personal favourite is when my MIL trips up in speech and quickly says “ooh let me put my teeth in” cracks me up 😂

I say it all the time, will say it about myself too as I have a habit of spitting words out in the wrong order and incoherently so I'll say "shall I try that again in English?" - as long as it an English person you know well there's no issue

I had friends telling me that, while laughing, after quietly listening to me going on in my native language at them, they are English and don't speak that language 😂
I just get sometimes language confused after call with my family😂

Honestly, even I used it in similar examples Op has given. I think that if English person cheekily telling another English person to speak english (instead of jargon) evokes images of racists shouting it at foreigners, we all need to chill a bit.

Depends on the context - fine to say to English speaking children who are mumbling non-words or to your friend using technical language.

It would be rude to say it to someone who does not speak English and who is attempting to do so.

I think i's fine for teasing friends etc. I do the same, sometimes using the variation of "English, motherfucker, do you speak it?" Although not at work, obvs

It is never okay with anyone you're unfamiliar with. DM said this when we were teens too it is a parents job to correct their DC.
I often correct my DD she is a lazy speaker with her th pat or bat for path, bath.

@ilovemydogandmrobama2 I will continue to say 'I can't understand what you are saying, please speak English' to any call centre person who contacts me and is incomprehensible. If they are a genuine business their staff should be capable of working in the main language of the country they are operating in.

Just to clarify I definitely wouldn’t say it to someone who was a non English first language speaker or who I didn’t know well!

It’s more being overheard I’m worried about and that someone overhearing me say it to a friend might offend them.

Or just acknowledge and apologise for your inability to understand the person who has spoken.

@BooFuckingHoo2
Who would you say it to?

"I didn't understand what you said, please can you say it again?".

That would work.

@samtsirch yes maybe I need to do that instead, but as someone with ASD jokes and “banter” are few and far between for me. I spend most of my life erring on the side of caution, and this was one of the “banter” phrases i thought I knew how to use.

@BooFuckingHoo2

Just to clarify I definitely wouldn’t say it to someone who was a non English first language speaker or who I didn’t know well!

It’s more being overheard I’m worried about and that someone overhearing me say it to a friend might offend them.

It's something heard (in a hostile way) by many people who struggle with speech - such as with a stammer, anxiety or Autism/Mutism.

I wouldn't use it to anybody, just in case.

Whilst it is a common phrase to use, it is probably better to be more direct save simply say, "Please speak clearly."

Your friends have no issues with it🤷🏻 If anyone overhears and gets offended they can, quite frankly, go screw themselves for overreacting.

*and simply say

It would be difficult for me to say “please speak clearly” in a jokey tone. I don’t want to come across as too dictatorial as I’m already aware of my social inadequacies

I would find it rude if someone said it to me. I have lived abroad for over twenty years and when I go back to the UK I find that there are slang words and new expressions in English that I don't understand. I usually just ask people if they could explain them to me, or say that I didn't catch what they said and could they repeat it. I think saying "speak English" was both rude and patronizing.

If someone said to me “for God’s sake boo please speak English” I would cue that as a joke, laugh, apologies and try and rephrase what I was saying.

If someone said “please speak clearly” I’d feel told off and anxious, as if the situation was more formal than I’d perceived.

Please speak clearly is definitely.more dictatorial and less friendly. Op in the context you have given it is fine ie

Spoken to someone you know reasonably well and in reference to complicated or unclear language being used.

It isn't ok to use it directly to someone who you don't know well or for whom it is clear English is not a first language

Don't worry about it. You have it right

@BooFuckingHoo2
Perhaps don’t say please speak English, perhaps just don’t mention any language other than communication between people.
If you are finding someone difficult to understand, just say that, without bringing another issue into it.
Just ask if they have another way of explaining, and before jumping in,
listen to what they are saying, and give your self enough time to work through it in your head.
You don’t always have to react immediately to what someone else is saying.