To think the DSC shouldn't come today?

[PuddleOfOrangeJuice]

The (lovely) DSC are due round today but there has been a disaster in the house. We had a flood last week which seems to have damaged the electrics, as of last night the built in cooker and hob don't work nor do any of the lights in the house. Only the plug sockets work.

The lights aren't an issue as it's summer but we have no way of cooking them a hot meal and I can see that being something their mum will gripe about.

An electrician is due round today but there's no guarantee it will be sorted by the time they come.

A builder is also due round this afternoon to examine and measure up building work that is to be done upstairs.

On top of that I'm having the period from hell and am terribly stressed.

Juggling all this with my two here is difficult enough and if my DM were available I would be asking her if she could mind them for me. With everything going on in the house I think juggling 4 children will be hard today.

I haven't said this to DH as I don't want to interrupt the DSC routine, but AIBU to think perhaps he should rearrange today?

Why are you trying to fix and solve this? Take a step back and let their dad resolve it. Their mum is annoyed about food arrangements, 4 children to care for etc. He can deal with it.

You need to rest up, if the mum doesn’t like it tough shit. Hope you feel better soon

Just get a pizza delivery in - special treat for everyone

To me this isn't about hot food or electrics.
You are not feeling well. That's enough. If he can step up then it's perfectly reasonable to have today and say I don't feel great. Would you not do the same for him if he had eg food poisoning?

When DSS mums house had a disaster we kept him for an extra week so I don't think it's that unreasonable to be flexible when the other parent is having challenges. It really depends how much of an impact they have on safety etc. I suppose because your two are still there that means it is safe enough unless there is a big age gap and and DSC can't be trusted not to do anything dangerous whereas your two can.

@TheresABearInThere 💯%

Honestly, it's good for kids to learn how to deal with boredom. It's also good for them to understand that life happens to you when they're not there, and sometimes it will affect their time with you.

Stay in bed and look after yourself - do not martyr yourself on the pyre of "But they need fun and games!"
Let your DH look after them in whatever way he sees fit.
Get a takeaway for dinner if that's within budget.

And if their mother complains about any of it, remind her that they could have been left with her if she'd preferred, and messed up any plans that she may have had.

men always expect the woman to sort things out-well now its his turn-she cant moan about hot food on a day like this im not even turning the cooker on myself

Dc don't need specifically amused evey day. Just living is fine...

Why does their mother need to know about the cooker?

Go and lay down. Let your DH take over, they are his kids, you don’t need to be lively. Don’t be a martyr.

Hope your DH is generally supportive with the endo, OP. If not, I could sell you my Patent pending EEG - endo empathy generator. Don't tell anyone but it's a combination vice and blowtorch for his gonads.

Most of us don’t get the opportunity to send our children elsewhere when shit happens, we just get on with it. It’s totally unreasonable to expect one parent to pick up the slack in the other’s house

Never occurred to me to ask my ex to take the children...Life happens and you deal with it

I don't actually see the difference between being together and not together. You're still parents, so if one parent isn't able to look after the kids, you step up. They're still your kids, even if it's not "your" day. When I read stuff like this, I can understand why people have got divorced, they are so unreasonable with each other.

Divorce does not affect the fact you are parents, and the children come first. So if you've had a flood in the house and you are feeling rubbish, the other parent looks after their kids that day. In my view.

The flood was rectified on the weekend but the electrics didn't go wrong until last night, we don't know if it's solely to do with the flood but we suspect so. That being said, there wasn't really much notice to change plans with their mum and if he was considering it he should have done so last night.

They're here now. It's nice to see them anyway. I'm dosed up on ibuprofen.

The bloody electrician is an hour late, ugh what a day.

If he comes and is quick DH can take them out and I'll stay home and deal with the builder.

@Zilla1

Hope your DH is generally supportive with the endo, OP. If not, I could sell you my Patent pending EEG - endo empathy generator. Don't tell anyone but it's a combination vice and blowtorch for his gonads.

Yes please!

Take away pizza all round, kids will be fine with no plug sockets,great excuse for a walk and play time in the garden!

If he comes and is quick DH can take them out and I'll stay home and deal with the builder

I was coming to suggest that. It's exactly what I would do with my full time kids.

There’s no way my oven goes on in this weather. If their mum wants to moan, ignore her. My kids are both indoors today on their computers and watching TV, it’s too hot for them to be out for ages.
I’d just let all the kids watch TV, maybe play some games and have sandwiches or a takeaway.
Hope you get the house problems sorted and you’re feeling better soon.

Unreasonable to expect DH to rearrange off his own bat.

Not unreasonable to mention that you're struggling and ask whether it might be possible to rearrange, and/or organise a takeaway, and/or him take charge later on (assuming he's working during the day) so that you can go to bed with a hot water bottle for the evening.

Make your husband look after the kids. They are there to see him not you and the hot meal is his responsibility.

Feminax ultra - blue packet from behind pharmacy counter.

It’s up to your dh to feed the kids and sort stuff - go to bed

Get DH to take them a MacDonalds drive thru. They can queue for a few hours while you rest.

i would recommed feminax ultra but you'll have to get it online everytime i ask they say they dont have any

BBQ?

@GrumpyHoonMain

Get DH to take them a MacDonalds drive thru. They can queue for a few hours while you rest.

Electrician is going to be here within the next half an hour, once he has finished DH is going to take all but our youngest and take a trip to the park.

I suggested to the children having a "special picnic tea" today because it's so hot and they're happy with that.

Feeling alot less stressed now