Prisoner!

[crazybutkind]

So I had a baby on Tuesday evening and I am still currently in hospital. We are ok baby's temp is just a little low but they have ruled out anything serious.

As you can imagine nobody wants to be in hospital on their own with a newborn at the minute but I have been in the same room now since 7:30pm on Tuesday. I'm not allowed to open the window because they don't want baby getting cold, I'm not allowed the fan on because of the same reason and I'm not allowed to go to leave the ward for some fresh air because of covid.

It's absolutely roasting outside, i am just stewing in my own sweat at the minute. All I want is 5 minutes of fresh air.

It's been 36 hours now and I feel ill.

I just want to go and stand at the entrance for 5 mins AIBU?

You have my sympathy OP. If there is a medical reason for it then they need to be more compassionate and explain a lot more clearly. Otherwise on the face of it it is bizzare to say that having a fan on in one corner of the room for 5 mins to cool down will affect a baby in an incubator on the other wise of the room.

Have you made a list for your partner to bring in, OP? As well as snacks and drinks I’d ask him to bring in a few flannels and towels so you can cool yourself down with cold water compresses.

If you can’t go down to the entrance; can you go anywhere else for a wander? Just wondering if you can find a quiet corridor or stairwell somewhere that may be more shaded or have a bit of a breeze.

Oh and could your partner maybe bring in a cool box/bag full of cold drinks? That should last a couple of days of keeping drinks cool.

My husband is in hospital, I haven't been allowed to see him for 5 weeks, no idea when I will be allowed.

It is good you are in place that provides medical care, best of luck.

Well it gets better....my partner was going to drop some snacks off later and even that isn't allowed.

You can't win on post natal ward. I had my son in the heat wave two years ago and they were either telling me of opening the window or telling me off for not opening a window.

And I sympathise with the food - my partner used to bring in food in the evening as who eats their dinner at 5.30 and have nothing else to eat till 7am the following morning when you have been pregnant and used to being able to have small meals often?

My dinner has just arrived. It's 4pm?!

I am in bits. This hospital stay has got me feeling lower than a snakes belly.

I honestly can't believe what is going on basic human rights just being disregarded.

It's absolutely disgusting how they treat new mums. Can you try and get an answer about how long they expect you to stay in for? Demand an explanation about the food/drink. Why did they say it was okay originally?
My post birth experience was horrible this time round, thanks to one of the doctors. I feel she ruined the birth of my last baby.
I'd hate see anyone else suffer. Have you managed to talk to anyone yet?

Email PALS from your phone stating that you are so hot you are going to vomit/pass out. Explain that you are hungry and thirsty.

Can you tweet the hospital?

Every time you see a midwife ask when you can be discharged on repeat

I fucking hated how I wasn't allowed to leave the postnatal ward! They even bloody readmitted me when my baby went to SCBU, even though we had been home in the meantime. It honestly felt like a prison, was 26° degrees in mid September and all I did was sweat (and swear!). They cannot technically tell you not to do anything (unless you've been sectioned under the MH Act I believe). I know it's impossible to leave your baby on her own on the ward, but could you use her as "leverage"? Sounds awful, but I'd ask to see whoever's in charge (their names should be displayed around the ward), explain that the situation is becoming physically and mentally unbearable (are you in a side room due to existing MH issues?) for you and you are reaching the point where you feel you may have to discharge yourself and your daughter against medical advice, because you feel you are suffering and are at risk of lasting mental health problems, and surely nobody would want that? Alternatively, before this (fairly nuclear) option, could you ask if there's any risk to your baby in opening the window the next time a doctor does the rounds? I'm sure they'll say there isn't.

If they have rules out anything serious say you want to go home tomorrow. Nag them. They will either let you go or make things more comfortable. Open the window and keep opening it.

Huge sympathy for you OP it sounds awful! Please do ask the nurse/midwife for the forms to raise a complaint with PALS, and for the PALS phone number so that they can mediate for you.

How often are they taking your dd's temperature? Check that it hasn't gone up yet, when they do.

Oh and congratuations!

Leave. Defy them to show any legal authority whatsoever to stop you.

Aww I clicked this thread hoping it would be about #6.

Be wary - I'd use twitter politely - there's always one nice nurse - try to persuade her/him that you need some fresh air. They can be utter cunts and if you kick up a fuss say - ''Mum was extremely distressed so we referred to social services or to Community midwife''. They don't fucking realise that you can be perfectly sane but utterly stressed by conditions like any normal person.

@crazybutkind

My dinner has just arrived. It's 4pm?!

I am in bits. This hospital stay has got me feeling lower than a snakes belly.

I honestly can't believe what is going on basic human rights just being disregarded.

Oh @crazybutkind as a mental health nurse (and a mum), I am so, so upset on your behalf. You shouldn’t be made to feel this way, it’s detrimental to your health.

Call Pals as people have suggested. Complain to the Dr when they do their rounds. Ask them what exactly is going on. I really feel for you. I’m due in August, I can’t imagine how I would feel in your situation.

Fucking hell op, I seriously feel for you. I’ve got the rage just reading that.

A normal temp for newborns is around 36.4 so they’re trapping you for the sake of 0.1 of a degree. I seriously struggle to comprehend how anyone thinks that is ok.

Get the rage and insist on speaking to the ward manager, and definitely get in touch with PALS now.

I hope you’re out ASAP!

Take a cool shower if you can. Drink as much of the lukewarm water as you can. Fan yourself with your clothes. Defiantly open the windows and LIE and say 'oh the doctor said today was going to be warm so I should keep window open if it got too hot'

It must be utter hell. I feel for you so much OP.

I'm in a side room purely because when they told my partner to leave an hour after birth and mentioned putting me on a ward I refused. If it's so high risk for my partner to stay surely it's higher risk to be sat in a room with 9 other women.

They are checking temp every 4 hours and it has been fine since 3pm yesterday (36.6)

I requested to see the coordinator and doctor this morning because I am slowly reaching rock bottom.

Both doctor and coordinator said basically I'm not going until baby is able to maintain her temp on her own for 24 hours but they have to leave her in incubator for 24 hours first.

A midwife has just been round to tell me they are moving baby into heated mattress in a min so they need to monitor her on that for 24 hours first, then without the heated mattress for a further 24 hours.

I mentioned self discharge and they said social services will be contacted.

I am watching the same 3 women going I t of the hospital and coming back in because I can see the main entrance so I am going to question them again.

You have to be firm op. When I hady fourth they wouldn't let me go home. İ wanted to go asap after giving birth as it was hot stuffy and lots of dads on the ward. My DH was with the other kiddies at home. But because i was induced we had to get baby temp on the right level. İt was only 1 degree under. My own midwife visited me as she was working downstairs and promised me i would be leaving by 6 pm. Brilliant. We were both fine. İ was showered. Dressed ready to go asap. After she left they said no you can't. Wouldnt let me close my curtain to feed baby (breastfeed) etc. İ went to the nurses station and said i will be going home today. They said the earliest would be 12 am. But they don't discharge anyone at that time. İ said well you will be. İ was only there a few hours and actually felt like i would lose my mind. Kids wanted me home as i haven't spent a night away from them. Previous home births and wouldn't sleep so no worries about collecting me. At 1 am DH turned up and i said I'm leaving or I will contact PALS. Suddenly my paper work was ready and i was allowed home . They just didn't want to do it. My midwife visited next day and apologised because i should have been allowed home at 6pk as she had instructed them. She was my midwife for 2 pregnancies. New us well and how i would cope and she was happy with baby temp etc. Kick up a stink. Don't cry though because yes they probably will suggest baby blues. Be firm

Sometimes you just need to do what you need to do.

When I was pregnant with my middle child in the 80s I was confined to a hospital bed for 10 weeks.

I had placenta previa and was bleeding badly and because of my history of still birth and miscarriage they wanted me where they felt my baby and I were going to have the best chance of surviving.

A lot of the time it was during a long heatwave with sealed windows and only air con. No getting up and moving around until right near the end of the 10 weeks, even to go to the loo.

Until the placenta was in a good place that's where I stayed and thankfully was able to go back home 10 weeks before giving birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

It won't be for long OP and then you can take your lovely baby home.

I know it's hard but it's where you need to be at the moment.

Oh my god, I'm so furious on your behalf!!! Fucking social services because you want to take a healthy baby home??? DS had many issues but not low temp so I don't know much about it, but what's the concern? Could you collar the least bad MW and ask if you could skip the heated mattress stage? And ask what the rationale is for you being held hostage without adequate food and ventilation? They should at least make you comfortable if they're keeping you in!

Just had a thought: can you get food delivered to hospital still? I'm sure I've heard of people doing that pre COVID!

I would just pop out without asking.Id assume they were too busyto notice.

And another one: call your HV, your community midwife and your GP. I'd also ask for the number for social services, just to preempt them and show them you're not scared. Try to find out what will happen if SS are contacted. I hate how they're used to frighten and threaten new mums, when they're there to look out for kids. I imagine it wouldn't lead to much, but I understand you're intimidated. Also keep asking for explanations about the actual concerns about your daughter, so you at least understand.