AIBU to wish people would not use playgrounds yet.

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So I've just been walking in the local park with my DD (5) and she's been so upset she can't use the playrgound. Virtually every other child was being allowed on the swings and slides, despite clear signing saying it's not allowed and tape around the equipment. She was asking if she'd been naughty and therefore wasn't allowed on and I had to try to explain that nobody was meant to be on them. Am I being unreasonable to follow the rules? Have I got the rules wrong? AIBU to wish people didn't break them, especially while other children are around?

And if everyone had carried on following the rules and not complaining then they probably wouldn't open on July 4th. They'd still be at the bottom of the pile Absolutely this. As the government said, there was greater public compliance with the lockdown than they expected, and I very much take the view that if we're too docile and uncomplaining, they will keep things closed for longer, because it makes them look "sensible". It's clear they've concentrating on what they can keep forcibly closed, rather than trying to enforce things they know are impossible to enforce, such as social distancing. (Are they go send the police in to churches to make sure the no-singing rule is kept?)

If there's a slippery slope here's its that so many people are accepting of questionable arbitrary rules. Much, much more evidence of that being the start of a problem in various societies in history than kids going on swing parks. Again, this. There was barely a shred of protest about so many everyday things being criminalised overnight.

@Willitneverend an attempt to give everyone an additional miserable weekend to get through. Yep. Has anyone else noticed how it's usually Mondays they've given us some new freedom restored right or other?

My ds hasn't been to the playpark (which will open on Monday here) but that's because I don't want people to judge me (small village) not because I'm worried about the risk.
He has played with his cousins in our garden though.

I don't judge anyone for letting their children play in the park, they may not have gardens to play in for a start. Also parents are probably pissed off that grown adults men can play golf and professionals are playing football together etc.

My ds hasn't been to the playpark (which will open on Monday here) but that's because I don't want people to judge me (small village) not because I'm worried about the risk.

Isn't it sad and slightly scary how it's come to this - people scared of being judged for doing something as normal as using a swing and the people who are prepared (read jumping at the bit) to judge them for it

@UserAccessDenied it is horrible. If I didn't have a slide and swing in our garden then I may have risked the judgement so I can definitely see why people are just getting on with it.

We'll be first in line there on Monday, tonight I'm going down with gloves and a bin bag as it's been used by teens as a drinking den. I've informed the council that there could be broken glass in it but I doubt they'll do much.

"Me too, I think we will be seeing the enduring impact for quite a while."

I suspect parks being closed wont do them any harm. Parks used to be closed every Sunday years and years ago, swings tied up so you couldnt use them. it didnt do a whole generation any harm. Suspect they played elsewhere instead. OP why walk past parks when you know your young child will want to go in them and you wont let her? Take a different route.

I've always followed the rules, yet I'm actively encouraging my DS 14 to go out and play football with his mates, even though it's not allowed yet.
I took a look at my pale, overweight, lonely boy and realised that the long term impact of him continuing to follow the rules was much worse than breaking them. Apparently many other parents feel the same, from the number he meets up with.

Could be worth SIL revealed she got a leg wax the other day at an illicit beauty salon, and she's the most upstanding member of society that you'd ever meet.

@rookiemere If no hairdressers have been working undercover since March, then I'm a flobberworm.

Well it seems rather ad hoc in my area .The park in our road has the playground cordoned off, and the gates padlocked all good .However both of the next nearest parks seem to be open as usual! (same town)and there are no padlocks at all! My DC are older now and it doesnt really affect them ,but seems rather odd to me!

OP you might want to listen to this more or less podcast which looks at why the risks of transmission are lower outside.

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000kf82

I hope the evidence reassures you.

YANBU. I wouldn’t have found it awkward explaining to her in front of other parents how they’re breaking the rules and thinking only about themselves. It’s important she knows an “I’m alright Jack” attitude isn’t desirable.

I've noticed the same thing OP and couldn't believe it. The people had moved a metal gate and made an opening to get into the playground.

It's a certain type of person that ignores the rules and is happy for their kids to play on equipment with loads of other kids with such a highly contagious disease still present.

@TabbyMumz

"Me too, I think we will be seeing the enduring impact for quite a while."

I suspect parks being closed wont do them any harm. Parks used to be closed every Sunday years and years ago, swings tied up so you couldnt use them. it didnt do a whole generation any harm. Suspect they played elsewhere instead. OP why walk past parks when you know your young child will want to go in them and you wont let her? Take a different route.

No playground on a Sunday is indeed no long term isdue.

Months of no school, no sport, no friends, possibly no family, probably not shopping...
Months of sustained social isolation.

My children will be experiencing at least 5.5 months off school and their normal social networks.
Until this point, since May the supposed relaxation of the social rules has had no impact upon them because the people we know are terrified about children and social distancing and the group of 6 rule is pretty useless for combining families of 4. So my children have not played with another child other than their sibling for 3+ months now.
That is damaging.

I can not control the actions and risk adverse behaviour of others. I can look at my children and brighten up their suffering with the excitement of an illicit play in a play space for children.

It's not just about playgrounds, it's the harm caused by the whole package of social isolation 3 months in and barely over half way.

"So my children have not played with another child other than their sibling for 3+ months now.
That is damaging."
Not if you dont make it an issue. As a parent, we need to limit any harm to our kids. As I've said to mitigate any sadness re parks being shut, dont walk them past the park. Find other things to do. Take them on walks, go to local woods, anything to mitigate the fact that parks are shut.

"My children will be experiencing at least 5.5 months off school"
How so? Schools have been shut 3 months, then will close for the summer, so 3 months surely, not 5.5. Dont know about you, but I'd have loved 3 months off school as a child. Would have been all my greatest dreams rolled into one. There is another thread going on at the moment with lots and lots of people saying their kids have been fine and it's been good for them being off. I think it's what you make of it. If you parade them past playgrounds that they cant go in, then moan all the time how awful it is, they will feel sad.

The problem is that the rules make no sense. In Oxford the council have said no stopping in the streets, except in designated stopping areas with fences around them which are really small. So rather than trusting people to stop for a rest in a place they can see is empty they are corralling everyone into a small packed area

But it isn' months "off" is it? Its been months without seeing any friends or family, without being able to do many of the things or visit the kind of places the average child loves. Its been often been months where one or both parents are somehow trying to an 8 hour day while supervising them at home. And not all kids have gardens, or siblings happy to play with them, or safe or happy homes, or anxiety-free atmospheres (the redundancies are starting to bite where I am now).

I've been letting my toddlers play on the playground for a few weeks now. Ever since the Dominic Cummings thing actually.

I've had enough now. No one in my family is vulnerable or shielding and my kids were going feral stuck inside a flat.

That will mean my daughter does not get conflicting messages about which rules to obey and which ones to ignore.

Perfect opportunity to teach her critical thinking, to weigh up the situation and assess risk.

Personally I'd be more worried if my child grew up just slavishly following rules...

I've bent a few rules here and there for work reasons - both parents attempting to WFH in professional jobs with 2 toddlers in the house has pushed us to breaking point at times. I'm totally and utterly fed up of lockdown, the risks of transmission in my area are absolutely minuscule - it was already small and now it is almost non-existent. I'm fed up of people being completely unable to assess risks, and practically revelling in the room and gloom.

Notwithstanding all of the above I am waiting until Monday for the parks to officially reopen... I think it just feels momentous somehow and it's easier to explain to my older one that 'today is the day the rules change for everyone'.

The people who make the rules don't live in a 2-bed apartment without any garden space with 2 kids to amuse.
Its NOT like being off school in the summer, when you can take them out, to lots of child friendly places.
And previously teachers complained about the long summer holidays saying that children forgot stuff over the 6 weeks break. Now, they will have been out of the school environment for 5-6 months, and will obviously have forgotten loads.
I would let them play, now.

You have every right to raise your child how you like and so do the other parents. Has it not occurred to you that other people don’t want their children to grow up following the rules for no reason the way you do? I’d be really put out if my children turned out like that.

As a parent, we need to limit any harm to our kids.

Everything I do has potential to do harm to my children. A child is more likely to break an arm in a playpark then catch covid from there.

@TabbyMumz

"So my children have not played with another child other than their sibling for 3+ months now. That is damaging." Not if you dont make it an issue. As a parent, we need to limit any harm to our kids. As I've said to mitigate any sadness re parks being shut, dont walk them past the park. Find other things to do. Take them on walks, go to local woods, anything to mitigate the fact that parks are shut.

This is quite interesting. I think it's potentially damaging because our modern children are used to being around children almost constantly and it's considered important to have friends your own age. A long time ago (or perhaps even now in some areas) it wasn't uncommon for families to live more isolated from others, so your children might only see other children a few times a year perhaps. But they would spend more time with adults, play or work alongside the adults.

I’ve seen people using it in my local park, which is weird as I know it was taped off.

Personally think it’s inappropriate from the parents involved - the items in the playground are not being cleaned, because it’s not supposed to be open.

The way children's needs have been ignored throughout lockdown is an absolute fucking disgrace.

The relaxation of rules for certain activities and not others has revealed a shocking failure to prioritise appropriately.

Although the data is still emerging and scientists' opinions differ, there is no way that there is sufficient evidence to justify keeping play areas closed for as long as they have been.

Children have been denied an education, denied permission to see friends and extended family, expected to cope with this indefinitely (week 14 and counting) and officially they can't even go on the fucking swings.

It's a fucking disgrace.

(And that's why I voted YABU.)