Omg my child’s class WhatsApp group is so annoying. Would I be unreasonable to leave it?

[Waterwaterwater1]

There is major fury on it absolutely all the time about anything.

If anyone says anything against the fury, they get shouted down.

It’s a really annoying group and is making me like the parents less.

If I left, people would notice. Politically, that feels a bit bold.

Would you leave?

(Silencing WhatsApp doesn’t work out for me. I’m someone who has to tidy away unread notifications or unread emails etc. It would drive me mad to see loads of messages unread there.)

School Watsaap groups seem to be a nightmare and notorious for inciting outrage. So glad they weren't around when my dd was at primary school.

I work in a school and the management has spies on the groups who inform them of any unrest so they can address it rather than let the groups fester and reach boiling point. It's always over something really petty which the parents could easily have resolved if they just approached the school in a civilised way. Lots of the angst on them is about things which aren't even true- hearsay and misconceptions which one individual can manage to use to whip the rest of the mums up.

Can I just ask or better “confirm” do staying in the class WhatsApp group but leaving the pointless endless gossip/gloss/clap trap unread for days on end annoy people (as no double blue tick “reward”)? I think to deactivate instant notifications etc.

And is this a good tactic to reduce the quantity while hopefully raising the quality bar so that hopefully group members only post messages of higher quality, importance and usefulness?

Any thoughts fellow lovely mums?

Chair of the governors on ours so it’s respectful and professional!

flamegame ironically, the most shouty one on it atm is a dad (I think, they have a non-name name).

Not sure it's ironic. The most hysterical person on our parent WhatsApp is a dad. Didn't know who it was or their gender (his WhatsApp name is just initials) until I cross referenced the phone number with the parent contact list.

Oh I only meant ironic as the PP had suggested to do what dads do, quit out of it. (Which - if my DH is anything to go by - would be accurate!)

Ours is the same. I have it on mute. I’ve fallen out with the whole class apart from one other mum! I keep expecting to see a story about myself here on Mumsnet! In fact it’s why I read this thread! I’ve upset a lot of people apparently.

I’d mute it for a year as others have said.

@cissyandflora what have you done to upset the whole class?! 😂

You can mute it and then clear messages without reading them
Clear it once a day.
Your not reading them.
You havent left
No unread messages, etc....

I left a group about a year ago, I don't give a fcuk what they say

After trying to foster a group spirit among the parents in DD’s WhatsApp for almost two years I gave up and am now the intolerant, sarcastic one who stands up to the Queen Bees. It drives them crazy and reading MN is great inspiration for me!
DD is now on track for a very very good mark in her State Exam (20 minute oral via Meet, what a farce) which is going to annoy them even more.
THIS is going to be my final message before I leave the group.

I’m 60 so obviously out of touch with these things (and am not on social media) but........

‘If I left, people would notice. Politically, that feels a bit bold.’

Is that statement a joke or serious?

Dump the Whatsapp group - liberate yourself.
(And fuck all the dissenters).
Live your life.

Lol. Just leave. I left a Reception whatsapp group Oct/Nov last year. It consisted of parents' class across three classes, so way too much nonsense being posted on there for me. I happened to speak to the organiser 2 wks b4 I left about the tideous nonsense being posted, so they know why I left.

I was previously on a class whatsapp group for an older DC for a few years. It was a surprisingly quiet whatsapp group so I guess that's why I stayed on it for so long. I eventually left a couple of years ago when one particular parent starting using it for her own personal financial gain by advertising group workshops for kids at her home during school holidays (eg. Cooking classes) and posting random rubbish.

Re. missing important info - I'm quite organised, so I regularly check school website, talk to teachers, school staff and other parents about what's going on at school. I also converse with individual school parents via whatsapp. I also got around to downloading the school app last year, which means I receive all school information instantly.

Re. muting whatsapp groups - do it! I've got the only two of my whatsapp groups on mute 😃

I wasn’t joking but you’re right, 8th. Honestly my own constant people pleasing and avoiding conflict drives ME crazy!

I'm been thinking over the last few months - I'm so glad I was not on any of those bloody school whatsapp groups during lockdown!!
I would've left instantly and pissed someone off by leaving after they spouted some rubbish.
Tip - And this is what I did. Wait until it's quiet and leave at stupid o'clock (late at night/early in the morning) as most people are likely to not even notice that you've left. I guess that only works if you usually don't post anything 😄

As a previous poster said - Live your Life!
Who cares what anybody else thinks!??
Do what you need to do to remove the drama and unnecessary noise from your life.
Life's too short and too busy to be putting up with that crap 🙄

Why not mute as suggested many times?

I’m fascinated to hear about the shouty dads - I’ve not come across one yet myself but I can believe they are out bothered!

The thing about muting is it doesn’t give you quite the same safety that there’s nothing ever to check. Compulsive checker with poor impulse control here

If they are as dramatic as you say I would leave personally x

I'd just leave, it wouldn't worry me what the other's thought. I've never experienced a school WhatsApp group like that, the ones I'm on pretty much stick to reminders and homework etc.

Just leave and don't make up fake excuses about your WhatsApp not working. No one will care the next day. Be free

@MashedSpud

I’m so glad mine went through school before all this group chat bollocks.

What a nightmare.

Same here.

@Cissyandflora

Ours is the same. I have it on mute. I’ve fallen out with the whole class apart from one other mum! I keep expecting to see a story about myself here on Mumsnet! In fact it’s why I read this thread! I’ve upset a lot of people apparently.

You can't say that and not dish the details!

Start a new one and call it 'Willow Class information' or something. Make it clear it's just for homework reminders, dress up days etc and any chat can continue on the other group.

We have one at work but i'm not on it, my phone isn't capable. I am so glad as my boss sends at least 3 messages every day and then tells me his latest moan every morning. The trouble is his messages are always negative and the staff are getting a bit demoralised with never getting anything right. He is right in what he's saying but I have suggested he tries encouragement as well as moaning. I'm so grateful my kids are too old for all this shit.

We didn't have them at dds primary - thank goodness, I can only imagine.

When she started high school, there was a welcome assembly and all the parents were sat in class groups. A note book went round so you could write your details. I did, half listening to the Heads talk - I turned to the parent next to me and asked what the details were for 'class WhatsApp group' - I crossed myself out on the books passage back.

I'm not anti social - and I have since willing helped a parent out with drop offs etc, but I figured at 11 it was time to let dd sort friendship drama's out and remember her own project deadlines etc.

I can see how they could be useful - but didn't want to get dragged into any of the horror stories I'd heard about.
So no - if it's becoming toxic OP, disengage!