Omg my child’s class WhatsApp group is so annoying. Would I be unreasonable to leave it?

[Waterwaterwater1]

There is major fury on it absolutely all the time about anything.

If anyone says anything against the fury, they get shouted down.

It’s a really annoying group and is making me like the parents less.

If I left, people would notice. Politically, that feels a bit bold.

Would you leave?

(Silencing WhatsApp doesn’t work out for me. I’m someone who has to tidy away unread notifications or unread emails etc. It would drive me mad to see loads of messages unread there.)

We don’t have one. Is this a thing nowadays?
If I want to know something, I’ll text a couple of the other mums to see if they know.
That’s the extent of the parental interaction.

There's always speculation when someone leaves....and sounds like you d be the new topic of conversation.
It's unfair to rely on your friend to give you the relevant info. Just mute. You don't see messages.

Either think of it like a "cafe" which is a community you're part of anyway, and have it on Mute.

Or just leave (but you will miss stuff).

I suffer from this, too, both school one and co-curricular stuff and sports. The few times I've left it's been bliss, but then being part of some (esp during covid) has meant we've learned of ideas, tips etc

I think it's a bit old-fashioned to say you don't like it cos I think for many millennials it's totally normal obvs

Leave it. Life is too short to be beholden to a bunch of raging women on social media, who can do absolutely zero about the situation they are raging about.
Social media will always cause far more problems than it will ever solve.

The school infiltrated our group, one of the parents is staff so nothing of any consequence gets discussed - which is bloody annoying too.

We have one for class updates and reminders about stuff we need to take into school. Its gone quiet during Covid tbh. There is one mum who kicks off about everything but everyone ignores her and its only ever a couple of messages before she stops!!

If its bad just mute it, I think people are hypersensitive and very stressed at the moment especially people relying on school places in order for them to work so you might find it all calms down soon

We don’t have one. Is this a thing nowadays?

in theory, social media is great, so yes it's a thing.
You can only ask what you know about, class groups are a godsend to remind you or inform you about things you had no idea.
Non-uniform, special tshirt day or whatever.. these groups are a life saver when letters from schools have disappeared somewhere.

I personally fight very hard to move them to FB and free my phone and my time and avoid whatsapp !

Leave it, I wouldn’t give a stuff what the other mums thought, I couldn’t be bothered with all the drama and certainly not for the rest of junior school, give it time most of the mums will have fallen out and left.

When your kids get to high school, you don’t have to see the school gate mums anymore.

I'm a class rep this year and I had to step in last week to shut down discussion of return to school (or lack thereof) on our Year 3 whatsapp group - a couple of people were really trying to whip up a lynch mob against the headmaster and class teachers, talking of petitions and group emails. Most people were quiet and didn't agree and two people messaged me privately saying they weren't comfortable. I finally stepped in on the group and said "a group email is not happening, if you have an issue please contact the school directly" and then had a load of responses thanking me for intervening!

I've actually observed the best time to leave a WhatsApp group is in the middle of a rapid fire chat - that way chances are most people in the group won't even notice you've left, whereas in the middle of the night everyone will look at the chat in the morning and see 'xyz has left the chat'. Maybe wait until there is a heated discussion then leave right in the middle of it - it will subtly make your point that you don't feel comfortable with the nature of the discussion too. Or you could make an excuse but that will make it more obvious - I'd probably just chance it, then have an excuse ready if anyone asks you in real life e.g. 'I'm trying to limit my phone usage to one hour a day so am cutting anything that I find eats up my time' or something (most people use their phones for 3 hours a day I think so they'll be very impressed!)

leave it
I'm not in the class whatsapp, and never have been, so I don't know if it's a mine of useful information, or a vipers' nest.

what I do know is that, importantly, my DC hasn't missed out from me not being in the group - she's still invited to all the social stuff, and people know they can (gasp) text me personally if they need me eg to arrange a play date.

I have been in this situation, I left the group! Then a few others left too! This was over 2 years ago. I bumped into a parent at the shops & she asked me why I had left the group & I was honest & said it was driving me mad, her response was “it drives me mad too” 😂 I don’t miss it one bit. Especially now!

I’ve never been on a school mums WhatsApp chat. I’d just leave. They sound awful. Who cares what a bundle of school mums think of you anyway.

@Macncheeseballs

I find the fury rather entertaining

Was just thinking the same! Sit back and watching it kick off is my lockdown's version of people watching

I would leave it, but then again I refused to be on it in the first place I knew it would be stressful!

So basically, you don't want to leave in case someone notices and causes you to explain yourself, you don't want to read the messages, but you do in case you've missed something....

Just leave and use what us oldies did - the school notices on the fridge. Or on the calendar/diary. And fuck what they think.

And never join a whatsapp group again unless you like the people and want to talk to them.

I just tell people that I don’t have a smartphone. Problem solved, no annoying WhatsApps!

I left the generic Y6 one a while ago as it was acting as a soap box for some people. I was then added to the Y6 leavers events one, which was useful in terms of organising leavers books, hoodies and the rescheduling of their leavers party.

I thoroughly enjoyed the fall out from one mum who went on the most unbelievable rant about the school. Accusing them of systemic racism, talking about the personal situations of other parents who had left the school years before etc etc. She was seemingly completely oblivious that the Deputy Head is a member of the group as she has a Y6 at the school. That kept me entertained for days.

This is one of the many reasons I have never had a mobile phone. I've never missed missed anything yet and DS is 15.

It’s incumbent on school to send communication in a way that doesn’t exclude those not on social media etc.

I left the one for my daughters class, it was constant and I already have enough to read with work. I told the class rep I was leaving and that I would pick up formal information via the school channels (newsletter etc). My daughter has a great friendship group and I get on well with the mums, I just don’t want yet another interruption all day.

Just leave it.
It's simply another channel for competitive parenting.

just mute the chat. unless of course you feel the need to let them know you left

I love ours, it's hilarious at times, some of the mums get quite agitated! I rarely comment on anything. I also use it for entertainment value!

I had the same experience. Parents were constantly raging against the teachers, school leadership, etc. because of the closure. It’s a private school and a few began discussing legal action to force a refund or for school to reopen. I asked if they could make a separate chat to talk about that so the class chat could focus on class issues.

That went over like a lead balloon and I was then personally attacked!

I know COVID is stressful but some people are not coping well and using social media to vent in an unhealthy way.