Hello,
I have NC as, quite frankly, I'm not proud of myself and I'm not too keen on associating my other posts with this nonsense.
Anyway... I feel angry. For background, I live with my OH, our two children, and FIL. FIL has a grandchild, who I will call Tom, who is an adult, that technically lives here too. He has his own bedroom.
He pays zero rent to stay here. He refuses to contribute to food shopping, gas, electricity, internet. He uses the internet, a lot, often it's slowed right down because he is downloading (illegally) tons of games to his laptop for his xbox, PS4, etc. He eats the food that's in the house most days and treats himself to a takeaway when he fancies it. He regularly tells me he's hungry and wants to know what's for dinner, ie. what am I cooking him. I think it goes without saying that he uses gas and electric. He doesn't work, he is a mature student so he gets a student loan. He refuses to be available to help out if OH needs help with the kids (they're both quite young).
A few weeks ago (but during lockdown, I might add), Tom decided fuck it, he's going to stay for a while with his friend. It took everyone else by surprise. He and OH used to be very close, but now Tom is a miserable, selfish arse that only seems to care about himself. He has no children and no partner, which is not a criticism, he's only in his late twenties, I'm just adding to make sure the full picture is there.
After Tom fucked off left, I decided that the surplus of canned food etc that has been clogging up the kitchen and even the hallway needed to be moved. Tom made it very clear that he has no intention of returning until university starts again in September/October. (PS we didn't stockpile food, for some reason we just have a lot building up). So, I moved it all to Tom's bedroom. That is now my makeshift pantry.
Now, Tom has become aware that his bedroom is being used for storage, and is barking orders at FIL to make sure it's cleared up before he gets back, which could be 'at any time'.
So yes, as I mentioned before, I'm not going to deny it, I'm angry!! The sense of entitlement is driving me up the wall. I rarely get this bothered by other people's behaviour but when I do, I start to think of ways to make things more difficult for the person that wronged me, which is not an acceptable trait to have. So just to give an example, part of me wants to throw MORE shit in his room. This is vindictive. I have no intention of acting on this.
So I'm asking for rational people to a) tell me if Tom really is a huge Dickhead, or if I'm being judgemental and entitled; and b) to tell me what a rational kind person would do, instead of what a hot tempered PMSing banshee would do. I imagine they're two different things 
TIA!
AIBU?
Really need to stop being so irrationally angry...
MustBeBU · 23/06/2020 14:06
You are not dim.
Sounds like you know this is a shit show.
You don't have ANY irrational anger.
Its TOTALLY rational.
You need to return to work.
He needs to share childcare costs.
He needs to stop expecting you to be skivvy.
You need to stop acting like one.
I think you have this.
Your anger is your gut going fxxking mad at this situation.
If that's the case, which I very much hope it is, then at least I can use that anger to be productive now that I understand what's really wrong. Obviously being spiteful or vindictive wasn't going to get me anywhere anyway 🤦♀️ but my head is clearer now.
Regarding the freedom programme; I've seen it mentioned a lot on MN. A lot of people say it's a free online course, but I've googled it and only ever found paid courses and none even in my area 
.
My chosen (and very much loved) career is technically something I can do from home, self employed, if I got my head around marketing my services. At the moment, time to focus is the main issue. But it is ALWAYS at the back of my mind. I miss working.
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