To think people do not know what a healthy weight looks like.

[reducingfootprint]

I am a healthy weight for my height and i constantly get comments on my weight like "gosh youre tiny" or "i could just pick you up" and "what do you eat to be small, just eat a burger" from people i work with etc. Do people really not know what a healthy weight is anymore? I just think "im not tiny i am a healthy weight and yes i do eat fucking burgers"
Im glad shops are more inclusive and plus size models are more common but i still think commenting on someones size is wrong no matter the size.

In my late 50s, I have a beach-ready body. Assuming I am a whale with poor navigational skills, that is.

I do think though people don’t have a clue about how much they should be eating, especially as they move out of their 20s. We’ve got used to takeaway:restaurant sized portions and replicate them at home. treats are no longer treats. Women of my grandmas generation would eat half a grapefruit for breakfast or a bowl of prunes maybe a small sandwich (which was often made with light bread like nimble/milk loaf/danish) for lunch and a couple of boiled potatoes, veg and maybe fish/small amount of meat for dinner. There might be the odd slice of cake at coffee mornings or a quarter of mint imperials to last the week.

Plus there now a huge variety of ready to eat or ready prepared food that just needs heating up, and unhealthy snacks available. Whole aisles in supermarkets dedicated to crisps and allied crap.

I was reading the bones thread yesterday and someone posted a link to frame size. If you measure your wrist it calculates if you have a small, medium or large frame and then gives a weight guide for your frame size and height.
I’m 5”9 have a small frame and should be between 9st 6 and 9st 10. And I am in between these two measurements. But I’ve had people comment on my weight for years and years. Mainly women.

Comments dressed up compliments but aren’t, comments on what I eat, that if I’m cold it’s because I have no meat on my bones.
It hurts but to be hurt is seen as boastful because I’m slim and how dare I be offended. I don’t get it.

How to get a bikini body: buy a bikini and put it on your body.

I'm now a healthy weight, I used the Jane Plan for about 4 months and lost 2st and now maintain it with a couple of days a week.

I'm 5ft 4 and weigh 8st I'm a size 8-10 but I don't think I look skinny at all. Compared to most people in TV I look overweight, - although I agree with the Kardashian comment about hourglass figures, but then they never have a belly - how can you have a bum and thighs that size but no stomach at all. That would never happen to me

Doesn't just happen to women of course. Skinny males get a lot of stick too, possibly more actually, because whilst some people view being very slim as a positive in a female, very few do in a male. Both my teenage sons are on the slim side but the younger one is very thin. He eats like a horse, but that's the way he is genetically programmed to be. He competes in a sport where being thin is a positive attribute in some ways so he is happy enough how he is, but he has had a lot of negative comments over the years. Some of his female class mates complained to the teacher that he shouldn't be allowed to swimming lessons because seeing him without a top on was "so gross". Obviously they got told not to be so silly, but it still upset him. And when he was a younger child I more or less got accused of child abuse on quite a few occasions. He was seeing a paediatrician for unrelated problems a few years ago and I was so relieved to hear her say that that it was normal to be able to see ribs in a healthy child of his age, as the nurse who had weighed him on arrival had pretty much told me he was seriously underweight and I should be ashamed of myself.
Healthy people come in a wide range of shapes and sizes and broadly speaking, when it comes to individuals, people should mind their own business. However, there is a general trend upwards and as a society we need to address that. I buy quite a lot of vintage clothing and usually need to buy at least one, often 2 sizes bigger than in modern clothes. I suppose it could be argued that people were malnourished in the 40s and early 50s which is my favourite era, so that those clothes are actually "too small". There may be an element of that but I do think that there is a tendency to just accept that we are getting bigger as a population and not do anything constructive about it. I don't think either thin or fat shaming of individuals is remotely constructive though.

I am really small framed and not particularly short, plus I’m really active and due to a health thing in my family, eat quite well (most of the time) and so am quite ‘lean’. I get people constantly telling me I need to eat a cheeseburger or telling me I don’t eat properly. It’s offensive and makes me uncomfortable.

I also didn’t put on a truckload of weight during pregnancy and so I got more comments than usual about my body, which sucked. Especially as I was having to have lots of growth scans and tests for other things as they thought there was something really wrong with my baby.

I wish people would just let other people be.

You're probably right. My friends and I were all very slim, back in the 80s, wearing the smallest size clothes available. I had a 22 inch waist, and that wasn't unusual. Nobody ever told me I was too skinny or thought I needed a bit more cake.
I'm an old fatso now, so my advice if you value your figure is enjoy the chips while you can, in case your metabolism does the dirty on you.

You're probably right. My friends and I were all very slim, back in the 80s, wearing the smallest size clothes available. I had a 22 inch waist, and that wasn't unusual. Nobody ever told me I was too skinny or thought I needed a bit more cake.

I was the same. I’m now an overweight 59 year old with a malfunctioning thyroid.

@Fallsballs
😂😂😂
I nearly fell down a worm hole yesterday.
Only just noticed it in time.

I don’t tend to worry about what other people weigh.

Fat has become the norm and if you comment on it you're fat shaming

I have lost a fair bit of weight but an still overweight (just). I'm the smallest I've ever been. I'm looking forward to seeing what a healthy weight actually looks like.

@LokisLover I wouldn't believe it much. My wrists are considerably bigger since I put on weight. None of my watches fit.

I'm fed up of people commenting on my weight. I get so angry at the amount of people who say I'm anorexic when I actually have a healthy BMI, a good diet, and have done for all of my adult life. Anorexia is a serious illness, people need to stop throwing it around as an insult to people of a certain size. And if I did have anorexia, would saying "you look anorexic" really be the right thing to do??

@Winterwoollies

I am really small framed and not particularly short, plus I’m really active and due to a health thing in my family, eat quite well (most of the time) and so am quite ‘lean’. I get people constantly telling me I need to eat a cheeseburger or telling me I don’t eat properly. It’s offensive and makes me uncomfortable.

I also didn’t put on a truckload of weight during pregnancy and so I got more comments than usual about my body, which sucked. Especially as I was having to have lots of growth scans and tests for other things as they thought there was something really wrong with my baby.

I wish people would just let other people be.

I had the exact same problem when I was pregnant. Like, the consultant told me I had to "think of the baby" and eat more. I was eating 3 McDonald's quarter pounders a day in addition to a big cooked breakfast and proper evening meal with plenty of veg and carbs. Her snide comments made me cry when I got home. Then a different consultant did a growth scan and found my baby was huge, like over 10lb, two weeks before I was due, and I wanted to shout "in your face!" at the other doctor and everyone else who constantly says I don't eat just because I'm not stuffing my face when they see me.

We have to stop admiring morbidly obese models same way we are not admiring deathly underweight models.

@Fallsballs
I’m the same. So tinsy. The wind often blows me over.

Sizes have definitely changed since the 90s. Back Then I was an 8-10. Now I have to buy size 6 or even size 4 sometimes and I’m roughly the sane weight now as I was then.

I find this quite interesting actually, as years ago after I lost a substantial amount of weight, people kept telling me to stop because I was 'getting too skinny'. My BMI was never anywhere near the low end of normal. I was comfortably size 8-10.

The interesting part for me was once when I needed to go to the hospital for stomach pain. A doctor was examining me by pressing my stomach, and she stopped and said 'you're very skinny'. I had a BMI of 23, I was size 8-10 and I was happy that I had managed to get to a 'normal' weight. I was also bigger than the doctor herself, which I found the most confusing.

I'm genuinely very interested to know if OP or anybody else on this thread has an opinion about this? Because it was so conflicting for me. Either vanity sizes have gone so far that doctors themselves are fooled into thinking big is small, or this professional genuinely 'diagnosed' me as being underweight despite my BMI indicating otherwise. Which do you think applies?

I get called tiny or petite but I’m 5’4’’ which is taller than average. I got told recently I look like a teenager from the back . I think I’m a completely normal size.

I lost 3st last year. I did lose a bit too much as people who's opinion I know is coming from the right place (my parents, for example) said I couldn't risk losing anymore. And to be fair, they were right. My bones were starting to protude and my face looked too thin (BMI was about 18). I've gained back about half a stone which puts my BMI at high 19s-20 and I look at lot better.

However the comments I received from other relatives and still do was astounding. I've been accused of being anorexic and looking ill. I'm a size 8-10 so slim but not skinny. I get accused of not eating then in the next breath, 'how are you skinny eating stuff like that' 😂

Today, my food has included nuts, full fat yoghurt and cheese, cake, ice-cream and chocolate. However, I'm mindful of portion sizes, rarely snack between meals and eat lots of vegetables as well.

Which do you think applies?

You were probably carrying a lot less fat than the doctor was used to dealing with, so relatively skinny.

OMG I get this all the time. My BMI is 19, I eat pretty healthily but also have days where I eat crap. Whenever there was pizza in the office and I had a few slices one of the busybody women would come over and say "How can you eat pizza and stay so thin, you must work very hard in the gym". I don't even go to the gym. Eating 3 slices of pizza for lunch won't make you obese, and neither will a diet mainly consisting of carbs (mine) if it's not in huge quantities!

People seem to think you have to starve/be on some weird keto diet to be slim and it's just not true; you just have to not overeat and not eat cake from Costa every afternoon calling it a "treat".

SuckingDownDarjeeling if I had to guess, I would say that it is because she is comparing you to the majority of other patients she examines and comparatively you are skinny.
One of my neighbours is an anaesthetist and I had to have several operations last year. I asked her if my weight made things risky - I had a BMI of about 30 then. She talked about it being "only 30" and when I commented "but that's obese" she said "well yeah, but its pretty average for what we see nowadays."